#youarevalidblog

In times of pandemic most of us suffer, financially, our physical health and most importantly our mental health. Everyone is in chaos and scared to what will happen next. Before we use to see our loved one's whenever we want but with all the things that happening we cannot do it anymore which somehow makes us feel lonely like we are alone in this fight. Personally I didn't expect that one day I will experience the emotional instability where i feel so lonely, where I feel really sad and everything that I will be doing seems like its not enough, the feeling of sadness and pain from all of the things that you went through yet no one knows about it, that I should just let it to myself cry every night and pray to God to end this pain because you are no longer used to live like you are before and it is suffocating me. But there's God, answers my prayers by my sister though I did not expect it. On just a casual day like we used to talk since she was abroad and we always do video chat, she ask me. How am I, how I felt and there's a lot more. At first I do not want to tell how I feel because I don't want to be her burden, but that day she talked to me not as my sister but as a friend and there goes, every pain and sadness that I felt burst out I cried really hard until I cry no more, Its hard to open up but once that you said it, it feels light that finally some one is there for you and that you are not alone. From this I slowly move on, i started to do things, I learned something like the DIY's, cooking pasta and other things. So, to everyone reading this I want to tell you that it is fine to feel what you feel, but always remember that In every battle you had you have God that will never leave you especially in hard times, pray pray and pray because God will sent someone to help us but of course we should help our self first and be the better and even the best version of yourself.

"I want to go home and be with my family" my father says with teary eyes when I get a chance to talk with him last Friday. My father is in prison for almost 30 years. I didn't have a chance to be with him when I received awards and recognitions from school. He cannot attend in my graduation. He wants to but it's not allowed because he's inside the prison. He is not there when I need him even if he wants to. He wants to go home. He wants to be with us. I know that when I miss him he also miss us and it's breaking his heart a lot. Being a child of a prisoner, it is very hard and hurtful to accept. For my mother, for my family, especially for me.

As I grew up, I've experienced a lot of bullying from my fellow students. There are many problems inside prison. These are lack of safe water, poor sanitation, health care system, living conditions and overcrowding.

I am really worried about my father's condition inside the prison. He catch cough and colds because they sleep in the floor with only Karton Paper that serves as their bed.

Many of prisoners experience depression, anxiety, and losing of hope. And this more likely occurs when the prisoner doesn't have family support or visitors. Many of them escaping from the loneliness by taking away their own lives or suicide. It's hard for them to continue their life because they thought that no one is there for them and they lose courage to live and hope.

It is very heart warming and sad conditions inside prison. Besides the problem and hurtful feeling of being away from your family and loved ones, there are many times that you will get in trouble there because of the people you will meet inside there.

Prisoners coping mechanism in what they experience everyday are doing things that they love to do. They express their self in doing drawing, painting, making Kalandrakas (prisoner’s products) that they sold to the visitors, etc.

Prison is a place where hope can be seen. In the face of every prisoners who wants to go home and be with their families.

Five million of Filipinos lost their jobs because of pandemic and my Father is one of them. No one would have thought that this thing will happen to us because of Corona virus. Except on losing jobs, many students dropped out school due to pandemic because many cannot afford the demands of internet or whatsoever. Who would have thought that this pandemic would last and would cause serious problem to many to the point that many of us wants to give up and lose hopes like the others, I thought that we can make it not until my Father lost his job and all of our saving were running out that is why I was thinking to dropped out and thank God they didn’t allowing me, my Family decided to gamble the last money that we have. We started small business through online selling within our neighborhood. We made right decision, so we were able to recover somehow and pay for our pending bills. But even so, I was still looking for a job to help my parents even more. It really hurts me to see my parents struggling and hurting because they do not know where else to get money to provide our family needs. Every day that comes I talk to God and I always prayed to strengthen and encourage my parents even more. I know how painful it is for my parents to see their children struggling but nothing hurts more to see yours parents losing their hopes.

It has been a year since the pandemic started. Except of our Family experiences, I cannot deny that I also had a severe depression even though it was not obvious because of my strong and independent personality. I know I am not the only one experiencing this, but I am encouraging you. God is always there for you and do not give up because I know just like me and the other who fighting on their own. I know that you can also do it. Lesson that I learned is helping my Family is like helping myself. I wound not be able to get up from the fall if it were not for them. They inspired me to become so much stronger. If my parents work hard, so do I. There is a lot of people fighting for their live this pandemic, we need to survive to this. If you feel there is no hope to survive pray and trust God. Always remember that God did not give a challenge just to give up, if you think no one’s listening to your problems always talk to God. Don’t be afraid to start your life again, if you think starting from the bottom and reset everything that is okay and Also, to those students who think they are not brainy and confident like others in online class and having a hard time to study those lecture, be yourself don’t stress yourself too much don’t think that you cannot handle online class and Also, to those students before that did not give the opportunity to study this year or next year you are not late to conquer your dreams, because every day, every steps you make is achieving your goals in life.

As the bible says “Philippians 4:13 I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens me” because is always there to strengthen you we can face all the problems like God did for us. If you are getting tired to your situation, achieving your goals, what you want to do, do not give up because God will always give you a strength to push your passion and goals. So, can you do all things through Christ who strengthen you? Do whatever makes you strong and confident. “Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, or the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you” If you are not strong enough to handle all your problems don’t be afraid because God always be on your side as long as you are not doing anything bad to other people. In God’s perfect time all your hardship will paid for and worth it.

I mean, yes all of us. Since last year, all of our plans has been cancelled. It's because of the pandemic that made our plans broken. It is frustrating, making your own plans with friends, family. Getting ready for something we are excited for but in just a snap it never come true. It's been a year since covid started and up to now some of our plans never got to happen but let me tell you guys something.

For all the years and all the plans I and my friends made most of it never happened and yes it is very frustrating, but one thing I learned from this is this quote, "Our plans are not God's plan." What does it mean? Simple, our plan maybe is something God sees that will either break us or may lead us into something not good.

That's why we receive a No from God is because He has a better plan for us. Somehow it's okay to receive the “no” from God than on something, our own plan that may lead us, our lives, in to danger. So before I end this article/letter, I will leave you guys a verse from the bible that keep reminding of the plan I have and the plans God have for me.

In James 4:13-15 it talks about the plans we have and the plans the Lord have. 13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— 14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”

This verse always reminds that God's plan, God's will. It may be frustrating that if you plan to meet with your friends but got cancelled due to quarantine, it's okay because God has a better plan for has, and I know God is keeping us away in the danger of our own plan that is why we receive the word "No." from God.

Hey you! Yes, you! How are you? Have you asked yourself, “how am I!?” do you still feel your heart beating so fast by doing things that you love? How long has it been since you laugh with a teary-eyed and hitting things behind you? Do you still treat yourself with those little achievements of yours that you usually do? And does hearing these words hurt you? If no, then I am very happy for you. And if yes, I am still proud of you. Because you’ve made it so far. And let me tell you a story.

One day I was really lost, unwillingly to live and locking myself up inside my room. Then my mother came and said “what’s the problem? Don’t take it seriously and take a break in the meantime, it is fine” then as soon as my mother walked out of the door, I cried and cried so much and I let myself free of all the negativities and burdens that is pulling me into darkness. I let myself breathe again after all the pain that I have been through and I prayed. I talked to him and feel his undying love that even I messed up he still sees what is good within me. He sees my silent battle, the silent tears that kept me awake until sunrise and blessed me by giving me a second chance for me to see the goodness in every trials.

So what are you waiting for? Be free, allow his will to happen. Do not be too harsh on yourself, stop if you are hurting, do not smile to their mocking jokes if you do not want to, let go if you are not happy anymore, learn to outcast if you feel wronged. Do not find the things that are not existing within you, do not try to be like anyone that you are totally not because that is not you, stop being sorry for not being the best, we are all human we do mistakes and that is okay, you’ll get disappointed and that is fine because that is what makes us a person, of who we are today. Surely, you can deal with it, the heart that you have has built a good relationship. Love yourself and be ready for the next battle, stop blaming yourself for not being good enough because if you let them you will lose your power to determine your tomorrow.