#yort

"Well...too bad."

"Not gonna ha—Hey! What are you doing?"

Instead of standing there and arguing, Jungkook sweeps an arm under your knees, placing the other behind you. Knocking you off your feet, you settle easily into his arms, and he slides you around so that you're slumped against his back. An arm under each of your thighs, yours instinctively circle his neck.

"I'm tired, and I'm even more tired of fighting you," he huffs, already trudging towards the attic door. "Even if I have to tie you up, we're going to sleep. Got it?"

You snicker at his hyperbole and rest your cheek against his mid-back. "Kinky."

"Really?"

"Yes. And did you seriously call me 'Flower' just a minute ago?"

Jungkook's shoulders shrug under your weight, and he's careful to take one step at a time as he descends down the ladder into the supermarket supply closet. "What if I did? Do you not like it?"

Your arms tighten around his neck. As you shake your head, your cheek rubs against the hem of his jacket. "I like it...a lot, actually."

Your best friend doesn't try to hide his amusement as he hikes you up further on his back, fingers gripping your jean-covered thighs. "Add that one to the pet-name collection, then."

Once you're back in the supermarket, Jungkook walks quietly towards the area where you were before. The sofa with propped pillows and throw blankets is a welcome sight, as is the view of the snowy streets through the storefront. He's quick to settle you both down on the cushions, keeping you close to him as he rests you both on your sides.

"We're cold and tired and here overnight," he murmurs, burying his face into the crook of your neck, arms winding around your midsection. "Just get some sleep."

Forcing the butterflies down, you circle your arms around his shoulders and back, cradling him to your chest. Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief, nuzzles further into you, and moments later, he's out like a light.

It takes you a little longer to fall asleep, but the warmth of the night and of the person lying next to you eventually lulls you into dreamland. 

You dream of the feelings you won't say.

When you awaken a few hours later, the first light of daybreak is slowly starting to stream across the horizon, through the buildings, and onto your face. Eyes narrowed at the minimal light, you stir and hide your face in the fluffy thing nearest your face. A blanket, a pillow, who knows. Groaning to yourself, you move your arms, anticipating Jungkook to be next to you. The space is empty, and it prompts you to peek one eye open.

Jungkook isn't anywhere to be seen. Not on the sofa next to you, nor on the sitting area where you ate dinner. Looking over your shoulder, you don't see him anywhere in the near vicinity.

As you pull yourself up into a seated position, your phone illuminates. Your gaze flickers to it, and you see your partners' names on his new messages. Out of curiosity, you pick up the device. A sense of relief floods through you; your connection must have been restored while you were sleeping.

But when you read the messages on the screen, it's clear that this phone is not yours. It's Jungkook's. However, you were not mistaken on the identities of the messengers; Yoongi and Hoseok's names are as clear as day.

The latter's reply is connected to a message Jungkook sent about an hour ago, that much you can tell even from the home screen. His original message reads, "If I tell [Y/n], if I'm honest, I'll lose my best friend. For sure. One-hundred percent. Every conversation I play over in my head, they always end the same damn way. I lose her."

Hoseok's reply is simple. "You can't let that stop you, Jungkook-ah. You deserve to be happy. It may take time, but she will come around."

Yoongi agrees, "It may surprise her, but I guarantee you won't lose your best friend. Things will change, but it's bound to happen eventually."

A thousand thoughts and emotions flicker across your mind as you reread those words. Despite having little context, your heart hurts at the sentiment in your best friend's concern. I'll lose my best friend. For sure. One-hundred percent. What could be so horrible about this person that he's in love with that it would cause him to lose you? What about them would make your long friendship come to an end? What could possibly come above the love and connection and history you have together?

As the minute ticks by, and the sunlight pours over the buildings with greater strength, your heartbeat quickens and your palms sweat. The ball of nerves in your stomach grows deeper and darker with each moment, and you feel as if you might be sick. Jungkook has been your longest companion; he's the one true thing that you've always relied on. Never in a million years did you think any event, any argument, or any lover could come between you and him.

But could you be wrong about that? Have you overestimated the love you have for each other? Surely he knows how much you do...even if you have kept the nature of that shifting love a secret.

Was that also a mistake?

Jungkook appears from the storage closet, in his grasp are several breakfast bars and bottled cold brew. He smiles brightly at you, but as he sees your expression, it falls away. "Hey, are you okay? I brought breakfast..."

Clearing your throat, you avert your eyes and push his phone off your lap. "I saw a couple of texts by accident, sorry."

"From who?"

"Yoongi and Hoseok."

Your best friend visibly swallows, then sets down the breakfast goodies on the end of the sofa. You gnaw on your lower lip with anxiety, and he takes a cross-armed position in front of you.

"I didn't mean to," you defend softly. "I had just woken up, saw the names, thought it was my phone. Didn't read any but the new ones." As he remains silent, you turn your gaze upwards, gathering the courage to ask once again. However, this time the question feels heavier. "Who is she?"

Jungkook is hesitant to show any form of emotion, give anything away, on his face. "She?"

"The girl you love. Or is it not a girl...is that why you're so standoff-ish? Is that why you're so certain you'll lose me?"

He lets out a soft, breathy chuckle, shaking his head. "No, that's not it."

"Then who is she? Who is she that she will come between us and end our friendship?" Jungkook begins to look visibly uncomfortable; he's running a hand through his wavy hair, clenching his jaw, shuffling where he stands as if he wants to run. "I—I'm not trying to give you an ultimatum, Bunny. I'd never do that, ask you to choose between me and someone else, but we've been friends for so fucking long. To throw all that away...what are you so scared of?"

He closes his eyes, heaving a sound of frustration. "It's not like that. It's not what you think. You only read a couple texts, out of context. That's not the entire conversation."

You perch up on your knees, giving yourself a bit more height on the sofa, and reach for his hand. "Then explain it to me, Kookie." Your fingers graze his, barely touching tip to tip. "Don't leave me in the dark."

After a moment of silence, Jungkook pulls his hand back. "Nothing's going to change, [Y/n]. You gotta trust me on this."

The pit of anxiety in your stomach begins to grow at his hollow words. "But you told Yoongi and Ho—"

"—That every conversation ends with me losing my best friend?" he finishes, and you nod once. Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek. "That's because once you know...you're going to feel differently about me. And I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"You know me better than that," you assure, voice strengthening with resolve. "I'm not going to cut you off because of who you love."

"You don't know that."

You attempt to keep your expression and tone calm and tender, but his concern is sharp and deep, going to the foundation of your care. "I do! What kind of friend do you take me for?"

Jungkook's brown eyes meet yours, and his gaze shifts back and forth between them, as if trying to find any fault with your truth. You don't waiver; you hold his line of sight until he breaks it, looking past you, towards the snow piled up outside.

"Okay," he breathes, voice barely a whisper, barely held together in its shakiness. He scoops up his cellphone. "Fine. You want me to call her? I will."

Taken back by his words, you blink in surprise as he quickly dials a number by memory. Your chest tightens with guilt, and you start to say, "Kookie, you don't have to—"

"—No, I want to. You...You deserve to know. It's been a long time coming, and I—I need to get this off my chest." His fingers hover over the dial button. “Might change things...Aish, who cares. Here goes nothing."

The moment he selects the number and raises the device to his ear, the device in your pocket begins to vibrate. Jungkook's signature ringtone gets louder as the seconds pass; a lofi version of "Yellow" begins to play. For the first few seconds, you stare blankly at the boy in front of you. His chocolate eyes flicker back and forth between yours, waiting with bated breath for your reaction. In those moments, an inhale turns into a shaky exhale.

And then it clicks into place.

You fish your phone from your pocket as quickly as you can, only having to glance at the screen for half a second to see Jungkook's name flashing against the white background.