#ynshelby

“Shh, what’s wrong?” You asked from your son even tho he couldn’t speak yet. Lifting him from his bed you tried to ignore your hurting back and held him on your chest, trying to calm him down. “What do you need? Why are you crying?” You asked from him again and panic rushed over you when you realized you didn’t know what to do.

With wide opened eyes, you opened the doors of the room. Looking around and hoping for that Ada would be there to help you, as soon as you stepped out of the room, your eyes landed on Polly.

“Polly could you please help-“

“Of course. Give him to me,” Polly reached her hands out with a little kind smile on her lips and you really carefully gave her your son. You watched the woman holding him and she checked everything she could while she was walking back to the room. She checked if he didn’t need to change, she checked his forehead and his cheeks. You got i ride of the room and Polly looked at you.

“He is hungry,” she said only and you breathed out. “You’ll need to breastfeed him.” She said and you froze in the doors. Polly realized that no movement was coming from the doors and she looked at you. “What is it?”

“I don’t know how-“

“Alright, now sit down,” she told you and you walked inside of the room, really slowly. You weren’t prepared for this moment and you knew that Polly had seen it in your reactions.

“I am sat,” you breathed out and swallowed the huge ball which was made in your throat from the nervousness.

“Alright, now take off your bra and squeeze your breast to get some milk,” she guided you and you did so. It was your first feeding because your son was on a hospital milk since you gave birth to him.

“Mhm,” you said and carefully squeezed your breast. You were biting on your lower lip and when you saw Polly approaching you, you looked up at her.

“Now just let him find your nipple,” she said and your son instinctively started reaching out for your breasts. Polly knelt in front of you and she was holding him. When his little lips wrapped around your nipple, you took him carefully from your aunt and closed your eyes.

“Thanks,” you said and looked down at your son. He had his eyes closed and he was eating. Polly adjusted your hands gently so she wouldn’t interrupt your son and then she kept kneeling in front of you, watching the baby.

Your eyes were on his face as well. You felt how your muscles were tensed and you tried to rest yourself but nothing helped. You were still nervous and even if he was already eating, you were scared for some reason. Your son frowned and pulled away from your nipple, a sound leaving his mouth which meant he was about to cry.

“Oh, come here little one,” Polly took him from you and you had tears in your eyes, coming to the surface. “Y/n, you need to calm down, he feels that you are nervous.”

“How the fuck should I calm down-“

“No swearing around the baby.” Polly cut you off and you rolled your eyes.

“How the hell should I calm down if I don’t know what am I doing? I am scared I will hurt him, I’m scared of that he will choke on the milk or-“

“Y/n babies can’t choke on it, they can drink while they’re laying. Now lay down as well,” she told you and you listened to your aunt. Your son made a face expression which you didn’t like and he started crying again, making you feel even worse. “You’ll breastfeed him laying. Make sure he’s laying on his back.”

“Okay,” you said only and Polly joined you on the bed. She sat down onto it and when you were laying on your side with your breast free, she laid him next to you onto the bed. You took a deep breath, trying to make yourself calm and then your son took your nipple into his mouth and started sucking. “Hey, hey, slow down. No one is gonna take that from you,” you whispered to him when you feel how fast he was sucking on your tit and Polly laughed.

“Someone’s really hungry, isn’t he?”

“He is. My breast already hurts,” you said and watched your son eat. He had his eyes closed and you could only see his muscles in his mouth move. His little lips were perfectly wrapped around your nipple and after a few seconds, he really slowed down. “That’s it, just like that so your tummy won’t hurt,” you told him and brushed his cheek gently. Then you looked at Polly who was watching your son.

“I will leave you alone now, I’ll be in the next room if you need anything,” she said kindly and you nodded to her. Polly stood up and gave a last look to your son before walking out of the room. You smiled at her and then looked down at your son again. He was still peacefully eating.

You kept watching your son and smiling at him. Even if you didn’t want to admit that, he looked just like his father. His eyes were the same and something in his face reminded you of the man who got you pregnant.

When your son softly pulled away from your breast and let go off your nipple with a little sound which his lips made, you knew that he wasn’t hungry anymore. Keeping your eyes on him, you dressed up so you wouldn’t get cold and kept watching him. If everything was alright.

“How is it going?” Polly asked you, standing at the doors. You looked at her and nodded your head.

“We are done, i just don’t know what to do now,” you admitted and Polly made sure she could walk in. When she saw you dressed up, she walked inside and took your son.

“Now you put him onto your shoulder like this,” she said and held your son on her chest while his little chin was supported by her shoulder, “and you let him relieve. You gently tap his back like this few times and then he relieves,” she explained you while tapping your son’s back.

“Thank you,” you said only and Polly smiled at you. Just then you realized that she had some kind of clothing on her shoulder. Probably just in case he would throw up.

“Now that was a loud one,” Polly said as your son burped and she smiled, still tapping his back. He burped once more and you were watching your son with Polly. “You’re more than welcome Y/n. Now come here, he needs a lot more contact with you than with me,” Polly said and you stepped closer to her. She gave you your son and you laid him on your shoulder just like Polly was doing few moments before.