When you experience abuse as a child, what often happens is that you are taught to ignore your own feelings – you're told they don’t matter, or that they are wrong, or even that you will be punished for expressing how you feel. Once you are out of the abusive situation, it can be very difficult to learn to undo that damage and understand and share your emotions.
Learning to recognize and understand how you feel can bring up a lot of anxiety and fear, especially when it comes to feelings like anger, vulnerability, or things that we associate with our abusers. There can be a tendency to only want to feel or express “safe” things – either to protect ourselves by not being seen as weak, or to protect ourselves by keeping the peace and not stirring up any trouble.
You are allowed to have your feelings. You can learn safe and healthy ways to express them. You can build relationships with people who will understand, validate and respect how you feel.
