#yeah... angst time

he shows it to me when we are sitting on a bench in the park, with one of his arms around my shoulders and one of his hands on my phone going through my instagram feed, lifting his eyebrow at the ones he thinks that aren’t good for me so he shows me that he cares and makes me unfollow. he cares so much about every little thing because he wants me to be the happiest i can be. he shows me his appreciation.

it’s eight am and i am attending both my classes and his, his headaches are getting worse and i know that i should be here for him. it makes me exhausted but that’s okay because i am showing that i care. if i miss one of it, he reminds me because he knows that i want to show him my appreciation he promises me kisses and hugs, all i can think is “this is it, he cares too!” he shows me his appreciation.

i talk with my friends, message them a lot because i love them they love me as well, always there if i need some attention, a text away and they let me speak as if they can feel my hurt through the screens we look at they joke around a lot and make me happy, maybe the reason why no one sees my tears and i talk to them about him in need of advice and reassurance that my sanity is still here they tell me it’s serious, is it that serious? he needs me, i remind them. “yes, he needs you. for his own responsibilities and ego…” he shows me his appreciation.

my mind is full of regretful thoughts, he cares, doesn’t he? when he asks me about where i have been, it’s to ensure my safety, right? when he starts to get angry about my exes, it’s because he wants me, right? when he remind me about how he cries to his mother, it’s because he wants to stay, right? doesn’t it make any sense to them? don’t they see that he thinks in a different way but still loves me? no. they don’t. they can’t see it. how could they know about it if they never felt his hands around mine and the way he smiles through his laughs because he finds my answers so funny? “we are for each other, we don’t need anyone else” he says it all the time. he shows me his appreciation.

and there is this boy that i really like- he is handsome and all growls, unforgettable eyes looking right through mine- oh how tiring it is to be in love! and he tells me everyday how much joy it brings to him, he tells his mother of his growing affection he tells her to buy me nice stuff so he can show his smile he can’t give his heart, i beg him not to because i know how much my back already hurts from carrying his other stuff. he shows me his appreciation.