#yappathon

Soooo been doing a bit of think-thonking about Lace and Phantoms' general relationship; specifically what sentiments the former has about the latter after their separation. I've seen(and indulged in) a lot of media projecting them as inseparable troublemakers(which I love lmao). But another interesting thought is Lace possibly developing some fucked up resentment for her sibling, specifically in how she possibly views them as useless and a failure for not living up to the expectations of their mother like she had. It's not out of pure spite, but out of self preservation, like the golden child turning on the outcasted scapegoat, and that hatred is channeled into determination in keeping that title as her mother's favorite knight and not being replaced by some sPidEr. After all, her mother's love is conditional and she knows it, and she plans on maintaining those conditions like she has for so long unlike her sibling

after that one trash taste clip lowkey going viral about their anti-intellectual takes on one piece and how it isn't politically, it reminded me of a spy x family analysis youtube short where someone was analyzing yuri and his sister complex, and how it was much deeper than just a sister complex gag.

a lot of the comments were just replying with the notion, "the curtains were blue" and how yuri is just a perv, the mangaka 'obviously' wrote him as a joke and nothing more, and i think it's SO ironic that this is the take they understood from spy x family, a manga about war and specifically how propaganda affects war and people; the importance of intellectualism in political situations.

Handler had a literal chapter on this specific philosphy where she criticizes an amateur spy for blindly believing what is put in front of him

Spy x Family chapter 63

The amateur blindly believes what was put out in the magazine instead of properly researching the information. there is much more than just a headline; who's writing it, why it's being written, where the data is coming from, all of these are so important because it proves whether or not its trustworthy information.

and it's crucial to determine whether it is trustworthy information, because propaganda like that is precisely how people get hurt. people start believing completely baseless information, which is used to promote and influence a political cause that could potentially fuel a war.

Handler explicitly states to use your critical thinking skills to protect yourself, protect yourself from propaganda, false information, etc. and completely rejects the idea, "the curtains were blue" no. stories serve much more and it's so significant to think deeper than the surface because oftentimes these stories teach us much more than just to laugh.

in a time like this, right now, it is so important for people to properly educate themselves and to use their critical thinking skills to protect themselves from propaganda and harmful philosophies like the alt-right pipeline. it's not exactly 'media literacy skills' but genuine critical thinking skills we are supposed to build up in english class to avoid war, to avoid people getting hurt, to notice when these acts of 'good' are in fact veils for violence and exploitation.

benny cross x fem!reader/ 1k words

idea: your leaving work, but you’re being bothered. luckily you have company

tw: harassment, swearing, threats

notes: ok so this has been an idea of mine for A WHILE so i tried writing it out. think of that scene from the bikeriders after benny ended up in the hospital after literally getting clocked and the whole squad pulled up to the bar after that, it’s basically that but way more chill!! that scene was so hot ngl so i wanted to write about it:)) here it is

being benny’s girl doesn’t only mean gaining the mutual respect of the club and its members, but shown the same amount of care and protection as the bikers themselves.

you were just trying to leave work and go home, the 9-5 work shift literally left you exhausted, but this college boy would not leave you alone!

“can i take you for a ride sweetheart? i can take you back to mine to really get to know you” his obnoxious masculinity oozing out of him. he waited for a whole hour your shift to end, literally eye-fucking you the entire time as he kept shifting in his pants. what an animal you thought, you wanted to yell at him and humiliate him in front of other library goers so he can learn some manners. but you kept calm, you didn’t need to be scared.

“oh no thank you i’m alright! my ride’s just outside” you declined politely, which took a lot of strength for you to.

you’re walking out the door, ponytail swaying back and forth. “aw c’mon lil lady don’t be so shy! i can show you a real good ti-“ the boy couldn’t even finish his stupid sentence before stopping abruptly. the loud roar of rumbling engines sounding filled up the silent library. you’ve never seen anyone get so pale in the face.

you walk outside the door, the boy to follow, to see the fear-striking pack of bikers waiting outside the library doors.. waiting for you. you could spot wahoo, corky, and cockroach near each other, snacking on some gum and cigarettes. funny sonny was saying some shit to zipco and cal, whatever it was made them all send death glares to the shaking boy right next to you. johnny and bruice were checking out this boy, wondering if he would even stand a punch if he tried to lay a hand on you. and benny, bike stand kicked up and leaning back with a cigarette in hand, looked up right at you with nothing but love in his eyes.. and the slightest want to kill this filthy pig beside you on site.

you walk down to the club calmly, your flowy white blouse moving against your deep blue jeans, smiling sweetly at your family as you walked up to benny to peak him on the mouth. that poor boy knew he was screwed just by witnessing how all the bikeriders demeanors shifted to your presence. he was on the verge of vomiting once they looked back at him.

as you were getting on benny’s bike you took a glance up at the terrified boy, wondering why the hell he was still here. you were gonna say something to him, until you were interrupted.

“you wanna ride pretty boy? s’that what you wanted to ask?” benny said in a cocky tone, but you could hear the faint growl rumbling in his chest.

“n-no sir.. i just wanted to talk to this nice lady over her-“ that’s when you popped in quickly, but it did much more damage.

“oh so that’s why you wanted to to jump my bones a’few moments ago hm? to say somethin’ nice t’me?” you said it in your sweet tone of voice, but the adrenaline rising inside of you drenched your words in sarcasm. that caught everyone’s attention so fast, and in an instant everything became so loud.

“s’that so pretty boy?” johnny chimed in first “well you might need some help from us.. to learn how to treat a lady with real manners” his knuckle punching rings tightening tightening into a fist. “we’ll take care of ya’”

“yeah i’ll take care a’him by knocking his fuckin’ teeth down his throat!” cal yelled out, you could steam a teapot on his head from how riled up he was, he almost jumped that poor boy if it weren’t for zipco holding him back by the arm.

funny sonny loudly sounded his engine to make this boy shriek, which led some others to join in with cackles. “c’mon pinko! show us what you got, don’t be shy!” zipco chirped with a guttural laugh, increasing the blush and sweat on the embarrassed college boys’ face. that boy looked so frightened that you though he was gonna cry. ashamed. humiliated.

you could feel benny’s muscles tensing up against your chest, how he was just moments away from seconding cals’ idea. but he stayed right where you were, right where he was needed to keep you safe. everyone was there to keep you safe.

“get the fuck outta here you scum-fuck!” “don’t shit yourself on the way out pretty face!” wahoo and corky vulgarly gleamed, and that left the boy with one more glance at you, trying to send you a smile. not before benny sounded his engine roughly, a back the fuck off kind of signal that almost knocked they boy off his feet. and with that he ran down the block and turned the corner, knowing you wouldn’t see his face again anytime soon.

as everyone was gearing up while laughing, benny softly spoke to you. “you alright baby?” “i’m alright benny..thank you honey” he didn’t even need to say anything, giving the side your right thigh a good squeeze before kicking up his stick. you smiled against his back, that’s gonna need a good wash.

“you’re okay sweetheart, we’ll be here t’take care of ya’” that was johnny’s voice that rang. you and benny turned to him, relieved looks on both of your faces. “i mean it doll, always” he was firm with his words, and you could only smile back at him.

and with that, you and the dozens of bikes beside you took off down the road.

el noli art dump except they get progressively more detailed

heads up i’m sleep deprived so this is probably like… mumbo jumbo ….. and this is just straight up yapping from the mind so it’s not very articulate…

in MY humble opinion— there is a mixture of why this happened. most blatantly it was a fight or flight response due to a panic attack. he was terrified -> his body reacted before his mind could.

what caused it? here is my theory.

i DO BELIEVE jax prefers the circus. i really do. he clearly doesn’t have people to go back to outside of the circus. i feel like sometimes we hold a little too much weight to what characters are saying at face value instead of reading the subtext. jax was upset when zooble brought up having people to go back home to and questioning if he didn’t. jax responded that he did because it makes him still closed off and he can maintain his persona. not only that but it’d also make him stand out and likely be pitied and i can only assume that jax would be a character to HATE pity.

and now, jax preferring the circus doesn’t mean he likes the circus, it just means its a better situation for him than pre-circus.

also two birds with one stone here but i think that all the characters had joined the circus willingly in a time where escaping felt like the better option (pomni’s bored of her monotonous life hence thrill seeking through urban exploration, gangle’s dreams of being a comic artist were deemed unrealistic so she was basically a minimum wage slave, ragatha has a strained family relationship but is an intense people pleaser, zooble likely had some type of self identity issues, and kinger… i can only assume is tied to the original intent of the circus— which really seems like it was meant to be this nostalgic therapeutic utopia)

i bring this up because going by this theory i am gonna assume jax’s reasoning for joining is escaping a poor home life. henceeee why he’d have nobody to go back to. cause… he has strained relationships if not none at all in the real world.

ALSO also i do believe that part of jax hitting that button is caine manipulating him but… SPECIFICALLY i think caine was feeding him the flashbacks.

and in a really fucked up and sinister way it compliments him saying that he didn’t put much thought into what would happen if they hit the blue button. not because he has full faith in them but because he knew that he could remind them of why they’d prefer to stay in the circus. he can make them never want to leave within reason.

and now i’m just throwing this undercooked idea out but maybe because abstracted people fixate on an exit, caine may overdo trying to get people to stay in the circus through mind manipulation to the point that it doesn’t feel voluntary anymore.

like… if you give someone a few memories, it can feel like you still have autonomy— that you have a choice. but when do those memories twist from free choice to being trapped.

anyways coming back to the main point: i think jax hitting that button is a fear response based on the fear of going back to his old situation; the memories of which influenced by caine.

I don't have autism myself but I do have ADHD and I never really knew about rejection sensitivity dysphoria itself and how it can actually be not too uncommon for people with autism, but especially common for people with ADHD. It's something new I learned about because of this game (only started realizing and recognizing I have ADHD for a bit over a year now...). I REALLY loved how this game handled her character and how much I could relate to her conflicting thoughts and perceived rejection from her friends.

It's something I've personally always struggled with myself and always beat myself up for feeling that way and thinking those kind of thoughts about people, it just always made me feel like such a selfish person. The way it's depicted in this game with Sakuko was just all too familiar for me, that's honestly why Sakuko has to be my favorite character imo.