i just found one of my dream pinky street finds NIB for 9 bucks im gonna sh*t myself

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i just found one of my dream pinky street finds NIB for 9 bucks im gonna sh*t myself

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FINAL DAY!!!! LINNEA BIRTHDAY!!!! HAPPY BIRTDHAY LINNEA!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAYY
YAYYYYY WE MADE IT WOOOO THANK YOU COUCH : ]
LOCAL BOY AVOIDS BREAKDOWN FROM TERRIBLE RSD WITH COMMUNICATION AND CLARIFICATION AND TALKING DOWN HIS BRAIN. THRILLED WITH THE RESULTS
Welcome to Everland Princess Sha... nyehehehehehe #everland #feelingprincess #lovely #awesome #yaaahoooo
im so happy i brought a burner with me to ny because this apartment doesn't have a kitchen and i wanna cook y'know cause i gotta eat
and i haven't used it and i've been nervous bc what if???? it didn't work???? i'd starve
but no
I'M USING IT. IT'S WORKS

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I fucking hate it when people say that I'm "just shy."
No. Anyone who's heard me speak knows that that isn't true at all.
I hate using mental illness as an excuse, but that's just it. I am mentally fucking ill and I don't know what to say to people when they speak to me and I don't know how to connect with people on an emotional level. I have trouble empathizing with them and I'm completely apathetic to most, but that isn't because I'm "shy" or "scared." It's because my illness prevents me from relating to others and understanding why they feel the way they do.
My name might mean tumultuous in Turkish, but this has so little to do with timidity. Even when I am approached by others, a part of my mind just completely shuts down and prevents me from seeing them for what they are. Because I am a terrible person, I always think the worst of others. The only way I can relate to somebody is by putting myself in their shoes, and when I do approach someone it's only because I have some ulterior motive, so I think that that's what other people want from me, too. I have trouble understanding and remembering that there truly are good, honest, and kindhearted people in this world.
This isn't a good or healthy way of thinking, and I'm not a poet; I have no words to make it sound pretty or romantic. There's nothing I can do to make myself seem like I am a good person deep down. It's something I've been trying to overcome for a really long time now, and while I feel that I am improving, I still have a long fucking way to go before I can completely tear down my barriers and allow myself to trust and to try and fully connect with others emotionally. If that day ever comes, then fantastic, I did it. If it never comes, though, I'm still going to pretend that I just think that I'm better than everyone else and too good to waste my time with "pathetic humans," because it's better than nothing and maybe one day I'll actually, wholeheartedly believe in that.