Apr 25, 2020
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A Monument to My Wins
Hello all. Here I sit, on my way back from a my little odyssey that I embarked upon months ago. And I think, as I see the culture war that I’ve been involved in spill over to the public setting, for far more political reasons and far more violence than what I’ve been in...I can’t help but wonder what I’m coming back to. It’s disturbing how bad the extremists voices on both sides have drowned out those of balance, civility and compromise. But the more I think about it, I think that it’s not a problem as long as I don’t look up. I already have enough on my hands. I, for the most part, am staying in my lane. I lost enough friends and made more enemies because of it. But I believe it is still a cause worth fighting.
I originally formed a Nerdcore Resistance when sjws began to affect and corrupt my community with their extremist political rhetoric. And through it all, I’ve seen a few setbacks but a many victories: The destruction of Gawker and the defection of Laci Green being the biggest among them. The painful part is seeing the cost ...how many of friends...some that were near and dear to me fell to the side that is pro-censorship, being a victim and using their shitty pasts to justify making others as miserable as they are. I am resolved in this, not just for nerdcore, but because those same former friends proved one thing to me...that if they can fall to what amounts to post-modern take of everything I, this country, nerdcore, free speech and western civ stand against...then it MUST be fought. Plus, they haven’t given us a choice. Everytime we’ve tried dialogue, discourse, compromise...they slap our hand away, shut us down and attack us. Everytime. So now, we just respond in kind. They lack conviction, they dwell on their pasts, and use it to justify their shitty behavior. That’s the difference between the arch-rival and I. It’s why this victory, this personal victory now is mine. Why there is no reason to perform a coup-de-grais. They’re are doing a great job of finishing themselves with their desperate cries for attention and company.
Meanwhile, I’ve been to places few dream about and fewer still actually been. I saw the Parthenon in Athens, the Temple of Poseidon, walked through ruins is Crete, rode the camels in Bahrain, saw the wealth of Dubai, and of course made it to my dream place of Great Britain. London was everything I hoped for. I made a nice skip to Cardiff, Wales to see a nerdcore site...the Doctor Who Experience. That made me smile, it’s going to close in September and I visited before that. And then, an unexpected surprise, a Star Wars exhibit in London. I will return that blessed country soon with my girlfriend...my love in tow. Speaking of which, she is waiting for me. My love...the woman that I’ve hoped for. I traded a rotten peach for a sweet one. Openness, honesty, conviction, fire...she is everything that fake ass was not and never could be. She makes my fire burn bright. It’s why I know I can overcome anything. Yet another reason why I dont do anything to the arch-rival.
Speaking of which, as I said before, I tried overtures of friendship and reconciliation. And everytime, it was met with contempt and name-calling. Details that she conveniently forgot to mention is her rant. Pro tip “dragon”, if you are try to make amends with someone, maybe not start by calling them a moron and antagonizing them right off the bat. Do you even diplomacy? So here’s another blunt truth, you lost. You have lost so much in your need to be right, facts be damned. You would rather burn several bridges, lie or hide the truth to those who swore to have your back, and in turn push away people who were on your side. People who genuinely loved you, who opened up to you, who trusted you...you shit on them for no reason other than to be right. To excuse all of that because of “muh past emo shit”. It is why you find yourself short of friends and supporters. Why you backed the wrong horse in this culture war, and saw how that’s going. Why I could now care less what you do: To me, to nerdcore, to yourself. You are not worth making any attempt (positive or negative) over. I have seen, done and accomplish things. I have found someone whom I can see myself having a life with. Why, I’m gonna continue to reach limits and try to surpass them. Why I will keep fighting sjws until they are driven out of nerdcore, culture and swept into the dustbin of history where they belong. And I do this in spite of, not because of past. As it should be. You are toothless and clawless. I’m sorry that that is how it played out.
And yet, in a sense, I thank you for it. I reforged myself, got stronger, moved on, fought on, and met someone who now has my heart. And all that I accomplished, all that I did, the woman that I’m with, the recognition that I got...are all monuments to my wins. I win or I learn. Fire warms, but fire burns. I don’t do anything, because I don’t need to. Because living well, and better, is the best revenge.
Fire Rising
Well, here we are again. As my little odyssey comes to close, I realize that I have been on the rise. My mood, my confidence, my strength of will...all of it has grown exponentially. The sjws are feeling the full offensive of those who are tired of their shit...and my own rivals have been quelled. Mostly. It really hasn’t been a better time to be me and alive. Confidence? Or arrogance? I still believe that only weak-willed people believe it’s the latter. Well, before I get into what has made get hyped and why things are good, I need to address a downer development...
Well, despite my instincts, friends, and others advising against this...I decided to give one last gesture of civility to the “dragon” arch-nemesis. Which for those interested...she’s like me but the opposite. The anti-me, if you will. Anyway, I tried giving one more compliment and advice so that the events of how our cold war schism happened dont have to happen to anyone else. That is tragic...because all of that could have been so easily prevented. But I already detailed that one, so I wont get into it here. Anyway, I was hoping to start a dialogue in the hopes that maybe...just maybe...a reconciliation could be made. But sadly, and predictably, her own shortsightedness and stubborn need to never be wrong and accept any responsibility or criticism kicked in again. Once again, blaming everyone but herself for what happened. And once again, finding a convenient excuse as to why. We can add “oh, he’s telling me something that doesn’t fit my narrative...so he must be a belittling asshole” with “oh I dont believe in labels” and “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings so I said nothing” as far as excuses go. It’s both amazing and tragic that all this time has passed and yet hasn’t learned anything from it. Though considering that same M.O. that I was victim of happened again to some other poor sap...well...it’s not surprise really...Really though it takes some talent to do kind of shitty things, and then when confronted, turn it around and say “I’m not the problem, everyone else is just being a meany bo-beany.” She did now with the post I left. Which is funny, because as someone who claims to not dwell on the past, she sure loves to dig it up for her convenience. I think that’s what sucks the most...I thought of her as a friend...more actually...a kindred spirit. But this last year has shown that is willing to betray me and everything we stood for, for the sake of being right. And well...isnt that what SJW behavior boils down to ultimately. Now, I’m not saying that’s what she’s become but if the shoe fits...
Also, she mentions that I could have just said hi and everything would have been fine. And I had to try to not burst out laughing at that shit. One, you could made a move too you know? Two, That was tried before...before you actually belittled me and then when confronted about it predictably got very stubborn. Which boils down to the core of it: You can’t handle being confronted with the truth/facts/arguments/debate. You would much rather sever ties than admit that maybe...just maybe...it might have been you who fucked up. But I’m done. I tried...I really did. Like many of the sjws out there, I tried to listen...I tried a dialogue...I tried to understand and reach an understand. But I learned that you all simply dont care. Your NEED to be right, trumps all. You’ve played your part, as the monsters you swore to never become. So i must play mine, as one who fights the monsters. Not the rival though. Friends have asked why not pull a coup-DE-grois? The simple answer is because I don’t need to. I already gave her a harsh truth, I showed her the mirror. And she reacted the way she did then like she did now because somewhere in there it bothers her that someone called her out on her bullshit. It happened and she knows it and will always know that. And while she stewed and made her choices...i moved forward. I continue the good fight against sjws and the corruption of nerdcore, I continue to love my nerdy things, but best of all, I found someone who is everything I hoped for. Everything the arch-nemesis is not. And my heart warmed and grew. My fire...it used to be just embers...now roars in a mighty flame. I feel invincible. I feel that any adversary I cross, I can overcome. And I have. I did not stew in the past, nor did I use it as a way to excuse myself. I rose, I propelled forward, and I am winning. I traded a rotten peach for a sweet one (the joke is that their both from Georgia). Other wins? I am leading a Based group to fight sjws on the internet battlefield. I fulfilled a dream goal. I went to Britain, I visited London...I went to Wales for the freaking Doctor Who Experience! I made it. I’ve been to places that made me feel alive. The baptism of fire I went through over this last year...I feel cleansed. I feel things are coming together. I feel I can rise higher still. All because I did not choose to stop, but run forward. So folks, to answer the original question, I dont do anything definitive because I already won. The life paths for both this past year should make that clear. And futhermore, after speaking to folks that have crossed paths with her, has only vindicated that which I already realized on my own. Basically, it’s all over but for the white flag. Which she wont wave. Which is fine by me. I stand by my take...and the truth.
Now, I just want to return to my sweet and beautiful girlfriend who is waiting for me. And continue to live the life I lead. Fire burns, and is not for the weak-willed. So much to do when I get back. She’s my life now. And the photo of me in front of the Doctor Who Experience, a monument to my wins. One more thing, to other sjws out there. Nerdcore is protected. You will be beaten. That is my role because I am a goddamn nerdcore icon who stay true to his community and isn’t desperately trying to prove that unlike others. Thanks for the forum internet. And thanks for proving my point for me yet again my dear arch-nemesis. Peace oot!
Some Pokemon Go Fest attendees are filing a lawsuit against Niantic, the developer of the popular mobile app and organizer of the official fan event. They made the trip to Chicago to find out they're not able to play due to technical issues, so now they're seeking reimbursement for travel expenses. According to Polygon, Chicago-based attorney Thomas Zimmerman was contacted by Jonathan Northan and "20 or 30" other attendees about the problems they faced at Pokemon Go Fest
How does it feel to be wrong yet again? Now, can we let this farce of a “game” die already?
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Yes. This. This is the ideal. And it sure seems like a strong possibility now, rather than just a fantasy. Time will tell. Anyway, this weekend was another wonderful soul boosting weekend. It was quiet, but it was wonderful. The dragon lady always makes for wonderful company. Every time. I think one of the best parts is that I can be me, completely me. I don't need to hide anything, to tone it down. I am completely open to her. And that speaks volumes on her effect on me...how she makes me feel. Words escape me. I hope the feelings are mutual. What a remarkable woman. Any guy would be fortunate to be with her. I know I consider myself very fortunate when I spend time with her. Really, I love how in sync we are, it leaves me stunned. Not an easy thing to do. There are few things, little things, that she's done that just...well...speaks volumes. Little plot twists, if you will. The difference in my mood, my demeanor, my outlook...all a far cry from a few months ago. And I have these pair of ladies to thank. On my end, I will do all I can to let them know how I feel about it all. About them. Because, as I've explained to some of my idiot friends from back home, the "Council of Mario"...I would have never tried to do what I'm currently doing if I didn't want or wasn't ready for what it entails. I know. And I'm more than fine with it. It's just...hmm...I know a new dawn is coming. And it's not just meant for me. Things have been mutual so far, I expect it to be more so soon. Well, my birthday is coming up in two weeks. While presents are nice, and there is a wishlist, I think it's hard to top what's transpired so far. Really, once I get past the disbelief of it all, I realize that this is the best gift I could get. Hope. There it is again. May this ride never end.
Nerdcore Levels....
Ok, time for something completely different. So, I have been asked about what the nerdcore levels are and what each entails. Several times. So, the time has come for me to clarify things. Before I do, I have a question I for myself...what are the consequences of my actions, I wonder? Don't worry if you don't know what I'm talking about. What matters is that I do, and I imagine it will be answered very soon. lol Ok yeah, nerdcore levels. Here we go: N1 - Nerdcore Noob An individual who has zero or near zero knowledge of any nerdy things. Someone who is ignorant of the community and the culture. Usually it's small children or adults who missed exposure. They learn quickly. N2 - Nerdcore Apprentice Someone who has seen a show or movie or has read a comic, but that is the extent of their knowledge, and are usually ready to learn more. N3 - Nerdcore Someone who developed a basic understanding of whatever they are fans of. They are taking their first steps in a much larger world and are ready to expand their horizons. N4- Nerdcore Senpai "Senpai" means upperclassmen in Japanese. And that is exactly what the nerdcore senpai is. Someone who already is broadening their horizons by becoming viewers/readers of more than one nerdy thing. First of the mid tier levels. N5- Nerdcore Guardian By this point, the individual has basic to advanced knowledge of several nerdy categories, as well as advanced to near expert knowledge of whatever things they're the biggest fan of. It is also at this point that the individual may struggle with whether or not they truly identify themselves as part of the nerdcore community. Most of the time, they do and accept it with pride. N6- Nerdcore Hero Having realized that they are part of something huge and embrace it, the individual really starts to shine as they no longer have to curve or hide anything. They seek more knowledge, and advance their current knowledge of multiple nerdy categories by a lot. Also, they may begin to have a following through social media. N7- Nerdcore Icon Building their knowledge, the individual at this point is walking encyclopedia for several different subjects, as well as knowing advanced factoids of other subjects. Plus they have a steady networking following online. This is the beginning of the top tier. As such, anyone wishing to become a nerdcore icon must be nominated by one, and confirmed by two other N7s or higher. It is traditional, though not required, for the nerdcore icon to adopt any symbol from any videogame, book, comic, movie, etc in the nerdcore culture and make it their own symbol. It must have personal meaning and may have to share when asked. N8- Nerdcore Legend In addition to having expert level knowledge on multiple subjects, the nerdcore legend has used the internet to become a significant influence on the nerdcore community and/or to improve nerdcore for the better. N9- Nerdcore Avatar The highest level a nerdcore individual can be, it is near impossible to attain. In addition to the requirements of previous levels, the individual must make a community altering contribution that affects the entire nerdcore community and culture and will be remembered for years to come. Because of these near impossible demands many gain this rank posthumously. Only a few are alive and are nerdcore avatars. Shigeru Miyamoto and Hideo Monika being a few examples. To be an avatar is to be a living embodiment of the nerdcore spirit. Well, hope that helps. Now, to relax and reflect on stuff.
Well, so I met up with Ben, my best friend and brother of twenty years. Wow, I was not emotionally ready for that meetup. A lot was said. Some things pertaining to my situation, and some regarding how my friend is these days. That was a heavy conversation where we both got choked up. But my friend, as usual, imparted a new prediction and some valuable advice. So first, I found out why he is so invested in what goes on with me. It's what I already suspected, but it makes it no less sad. "Hey Mario, at least one of us deserves a happy life". I mean, holy shit, how do you even RESPOND to that? I spent almost an hour trying to cheer him and convince him that it's not hopeless and not too late for him. But he was more interested in what was going on with me. I feel awful. My closest best friends are just shells of who they once were, and I don't know what to do. But, it seems that helping me out keeps him occupied with something, so I caught him up to speed on everything. He just sort of chuckled and smirked. He knew how things were going to play out, because of course he did. Then he gave a new prediction. And it made so much sense. Either I (and I quote) "was going to be soothed by the waters of success or drowned by the tidal waves of heartbreak". And that I would ultimately determine where it would go. Basically. At this point I was in shock, but I picked up on what he said. I dreaded the possible answer, but I asked if he meant to use water themed metaphors. He just responded by saying "she's a water sign isn't she?". Even more in shock since I never mentioned that, I asked him how he knew and what does that have to do with anything. Again staring directly at me, he laughed and said, "think about this, when was the last time you had such strong feelings for someone? Who was it? You tell me that and you will get why you are driven to not screw this one up". We both said the same answer, a name, at the same time. And he was right, it all hit me. I was in stunned silence. I took a shot. Obviously, I have dated and been in relationships before. I mean, it's not like I purposely tried to half ass any of them or make them fail. But here is someone that I find to be worth putting my best and full effort here. I really do not want to screw this up nor botch the existing friendship I already have. Her character, her looks, her hobbies, her outlook on life. It's just...wow. And Ben, he was right. The last time I felt this way, was several years ago with someone else. The difference is that I was a selfish insufferable little shit, and it was the heartbreak with that person that was catalyst that pushed me to get my shit together. To change. I also recognize that I was not ready for the kind of relationship I'm seeking now. But yes, it all hits me like a sack of bricks. Of course it had to be Ben who drew out the last pieces of the puzzle as to what my reasons for giving this a shot are. There's more to it of course, but this is a big part that I didn't even notice until it was spelled out to me. So, after that, he asked me if she knows how I feel and my plans, intentions etc. I told him that she is incredibly perceptive and that I think she knows. He stared at me again and said " you THINK she knows or do you KNOW she does?" At first, I'm not sure what he means. She knows what I'm feeling before I fully know, like how Ben knows what I'm thinking before I think about them. Kind of frustrating when your crush and best friend seem to be a few steps ahead of you. Kind of a kick to the ego when you thought you were slick and ahead of the curve all these years lol. Anyway, he told me straight up that instead of giving her the cliff's notes/analytical version, to stop being a coward and just go with your heart. Some straight talk there lol. So that I would have an actual thing to say, he asked what I was feeling about her and how I wanted to proceed. We spoke for a while about that, until I did have a plan. I now know what to say and have a plan on how to go forward. I just hope I can get it across the next time we talk, and nothing comes up for either one of us. Afterwards, we knocked glasses and drank. We spoke about some random topics. Before we broke off, he wished me the best, and genuinely wanted me to be happy. I responded that it's not too late for him, and that I'm glad to have him as a friend. Even after two decades, he knows me so well and still has my back. That means a lot to me these days. It's a good thing, you know, to have friends like him. He seriously helped me spell this situation out for me and in turn gave me the clarity I've been seeking for a while. So, let's see how things goes. Hope, I'm so glad I still have after all this time.