#xwiinged

     It had only been a short couple of weeks since his return, and Ben was already itching for.. Something. A plan he'd started crafting in his head, he wasn't sure if it was going to work or not, but he'd thought out enough details that it seemed sound. Take the Falcon, go back to the Order, take Hux, and turn tail faster than he can say jawa juice. He still had his identification chip and other things that had just been on his person, it was enough to patch him through when he got in range, as well as keep him from getting obliterated. A plausible story had been made; he was overpowered by the group in the forest. They took him hostage, kept him from the Order to throw them in disarray. Interrogated him. It was... Somewhat believable. He knew Hux was smart and truly wouldn’t fall for it, but he also knew the General would at least humour him. That was going to be his chance. Of course, he wasn't able to do it on his own, as much as he loathed admitting it. Luckily, an ace pilot happened to agree to help to such a ludicrous scheme.

     They'd been watching Chewie and Rey's routine with the Falcon, trying to figure out the best time to get on when they weren't there and punch it off D'Qar. Luckily, it paid off because they were able to sneak on board once they got the rhythm. Slamming the boarding ramp shut and letting it retract as soon as Poe came on, Ben felt the nerves hit. "We're doing this.." More a comment for himself than his companion, but it was there nonetheless. Ushering them into the cockpit, Ben couldn't stop the tremble in his hands as he sat down in the pilot's chair. Golden dice hung above the console, and for only a brief second, he felt calm. He didn't say anything as Poe settled beside him and they began lift off. They were off, and left a very confused base behind them as the comms started lighting up with questions. Shutting it off, the Solo didn't pay much mind to it as he set their coordinates.

     With the blue light of hyperspace enveloping them, Ben finally looked to his friend that had joined his cause. Too many things hung on his lips as they shared a glance. "You don't know what it means to me to have you doing this.", he settled on. It would only be a short time before they came out on the other side, facing down the Order and praying they'd listen to Ben upon receiving transmissions. A deep breath, he let his fingers tap against the control console to try and exert the nervous energy within. He was so wrapped up in how he felt, he couldn't even begin to scratch the surface of how Poe must feel or what was going through his head.

you know i had to angst ‘em.jpg // ACCEPTING

                                                                ( @xwiinged )

          Perhaps the silence that followed the statement should have prompted Han to speak. It was unlikely that he was going to bend that easily. The sound of his spoon scraping over the bottom of the coffee cup in front of him was all that filled the air between them aside from the ambient sound of muted conversations and clinking dishes around them. 

          A typical run-of-the-mill diner felt like a more neutral meeting ground than the loft. He knew being in public would quell any instinctual desire he might have to yell or scold the other man if the situation arose. He watched the coffee swirl in front of him, long since having cooled without a single sip taken. He had neither an appetite nor the proper words formulated to respond to that one simple statement.

          He was well aware of his son’s position — far more than Poe did. He was sure of that. Ben never got to know his mother. He was raised by a single father who could hardly take care of himself properly, let alone raise a kid. He blamed himself for Ben’s anger issues. The constant tantrums as a child were enough to drive him crazy and his only saving grace was Chewie — the closest thing his son ever had to an uncle. Ben was a loner at school and was deemed the TROUBLE CHILD by every teacher and parent at the PTA meetings he inevitably got roped into helping with if he were to avoid his son getting suspended.

          He was PROTECTIVE of his boy. His boy who had only just found a comfortable place in his own skin. He wanted to shield him from the bullies and naysayers of the world. He didn’t want him to have the same fate as his mother. Still… he was smothering him to death without even realizing it. He’d seen the way his son looked at his boyfriend. His smile was like sunshine whenever he spoke of him and his eyes lit up whenever his phone dinged with a text from him. He never heard a negative thing come out of his mouth in regards to the older man. Poe… he showed respect to Han that he didn’t even deserve.

                                          So, why did he resent him SO MUCH?

          Jealousy and fatherly vigilance. That was all he could come up with. He regretted what would happen if something went wrong. He didn’t want Ben to end up heartbroken. Those were tears he didn’t want to have to dry. 

                            He loved his son too much to watch him be hurt again.

          But… he had to let him experience the world for himself.Ben was a homebody. His routine was like clockwork — leave for school in the morning, go to Poe’s house after classes, come home at night. It had worked like that for a long time now. He never told Ben he had to be home at a certain time, yet he could wait up at night while watching TV and still see his son walk through that front door with a small smile on his face with a familiar ‘You still up, daddy-o?’ as he plopped on the couch next to him to see what was going on. Day in, day out. Just like clockwork. He never partied. He always made sure to text when he was going to be late or if he was staying over Poe’s because he was too tired to move. He appreciated that.

          It was another moment before Han inevitably raised his glance to look at the man in front of him. He could see the anxiety written on his face behind tired eyes. He knew so little about Poe for his son thinking so highly about him. There was some sort of military background — he could get that much from the story behind Bebe. He knew he lived in a rundown house somewhere on Long Island, or well… used to. Something had happened. Aside from that, there was nothing. He only knew that he was a good man who had his little boy’s heart in the palm of his hand.

                                 There was a point where Han needed to LET GO. 

          Ben had been crying about whatever had happened to Poe’s house. He hadn’t talked to Han about it, but he could hear him sobbing on the phone from inside his room. Something bad, he was sure. He knew his son was scared to even approach the topic with him for fear of an outburst. That’s what signaled that he needed to change. He knew what he had to do and asking the man to meet him for coffee while Ben was at school seemed like the only way he’d be able to meet him without his son getting involved.

          He reached to the side where he had thrown his jacket after coming into the diner. Lifting it up, he grabbed a small envelope from underneath it. He placed it on the table, sliding it over to Poe. Inside was a swipe for the elevator and a key to the loft along with a few hundred dollars to take care of whatever last minute moving needs he had to cover. 

          Before he would hear a word of what the other had to say, Han was already standing while pulling on his jacket without touching a drop of his coffee. “I’ll see you at home tonight. Don’t be late for dinner.” He fixed the collar on the jacket, zipping it up as he prepared to brave the cold. He handed a few dollars to their waitress as she passed, by telling her he was covering whatever Poe had ordered for lunch plus tip. He turned back to Poe as he went to leave.

     A lump in his throat, side throbbing as he moved to the pilot. His homecoming hadn't sat easy with many, Poe one of the first to give him a piece of his mind. He nose ached at the thought of another punch, the bruise still healing days after it transpired. He had allowed Dameron that one, but he wasn't going to allow for another. Luckily, the pilot hadn't changed much over the years, so he knew it was simply going to be a one time thing. It wasn't like him to hold his anger for so long. Something Ben envied.

     He was slow to approach, coal eyes looking at what surrounded him moreso than what was in front of him. Not isolated, but nobody watching or staring. He didn't need an audience, and he was thankful to have what little bit of privacy they could.

Old meme I cba to grab. || @xwiinged

                    "I'd be amazed if you could, considering you seem to have gotten... Softer since I last saw you." Nudging the pilot's side, he let out a laugh at his flushed face.

further proof that ben is a monster and should be put in the ground