Hello, I was wondering if you have any tips for taking criticism at work when you have depression/anxiety. I got chewed out publicly at my new job. I can be overly sensitive, but I know when I'm being talked down to (another co-worker came up to me later asking if I was alright and said this was normal for that manager.) I know I'm piling my own expectations on top of their ridgid standards, but I'm just not okay right now. I'm so stressed out and I can't afford to lose this job. I feel trapped.
When someone is condescending in public like that, it’s never about *you* or your worth as a person. When someone (especially a manager) is like that, it’s because they feel out of control in their own lives, and they are trying to put their own insecurities and fears into you.
You don’t have to carry their fear, their anxiety, or whatever it is that makes them feel like being cruel and condescending will help them feel better about themselves.
This manager probably has something profoundly sad or disappointing in their life, and they are taking that sadness and impotence out on you, because they happen to be in a job where they can express their own self-loathing and project it onto someone who doesn’t deserve it, but is required by your employment status and situation to just take it.
I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to take it. If you made a mistake, all you have to do is **very gently** own your participation in the mistake, know what you’ll do in the future so it doesn’t happen again, and get on with your life. You don’t have to carry this manager’s negative emotions at all, because their personal feelings and fears are not your responsibility.
I’m so sorry you were treated this way (it’s happened to me on set in my career and it’s awful), and I hope that these words are helpful.
