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So like for a year now? Ive been having weird dreams where im pregnant or have a baby(like off and on not ALL the time. Enough for me to notice ) In none of the dreams do i give birth but now after last night ive had two dreams where basically someone lets me know my kid was born.
But i dont understand because...i would be the one..who births...the child(right?)??? So like....why am i getting that call??
I do not understand why i have these dreams so often
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(third post in a row what what)
no but like how can people i went to school with like 3 years ago be married, in their own apartment, and have a son. i still feel like a kid sometimes and im 21 just like you?????
I broke my arm like in 3rd grade and every once in a while it aches and my fingers feel swollen.
Now it only ever really acts up in fall/winter when it gets cold but it hurts so bad right now and it's like 80° AND JULY so someone explain whats happening pls
also hey im gonna try not to get serious with any of my friends. sometimes i feel like after what happened with my one best friend (long story, tragic and abusive and honestly just messy) i tend to think about dating anyone i get close with and idk i really need to make important friendships rn but also
me and one of my new old friends have a joke rn that were dating. and its been funny to make public jokes about it because ooooh someone might say something to us lol but like she also sends me personal heart emojis and bitmojis and its funny idk idk idk. also i said something about her future husband and she responded with “my future partner...” and like does that mean u like girls because you said you were straight?? not that it matters but like??? and i feel like more then once she just grabs my hand and holds it. (but shes the very cutesy adorable friendly type so it really could just be her being nice) anyway like i said thats probably all in my head because i just assume that all friendships are more then that and thats my problem (thats also how i found out i was bi lmao). plus im not in any shape to date anyone right now, i need a therapist tbh but i cant handle that rn lmao.
(i will however have all the causal sex that i want because hello im human and just because im emotionally empty doesnt mean im sexually empty (anymore))
sort of back to this tumblr now because whatever was bothering me, isnt now (lmao lets just say...crisis probably averted) ^_^ ive been seeing my friends a lot more and hanging out with one of them in particular in person and thats been awesome <3 my other friend who actually reached out to me first tends to video chat me all the time and thats been funny too lmao ^_^ i love these people
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My new friend also started talking about how he wants a best friend he can have kids with. Like buy a big house and everyone moves in and we all take care of the children like some weird commune type situation and honestly im here for that. Everyone plays a part, everyone has love for the cute babies and for each other
While stuff like that makes me nervous he makes a good point, you could have so many people in your kids life that love them and Thats kinda awesome
My new old best friend told me I deserve better and to only be around people who respect me and honestly❤❤ thats so sweet of him hes!!! Right!!! And how that means doing what I want and being pretty much the same person but just changing the people im around maybe or the situations i allow myself to go through.
I missed him a lot❤ we always talked about what was bothering us and tried to give each other the best advice (at 15-18 too dear god). I missed looking out for each other and being happy for each other!! I missed having friends! Im with my people again!!❤
Barely awake for 45 mins and i was crying like a baby and fighting with my sisters and my mom.
