also hey im gonna try not to get serious with any of my friends. sometimes i feel like after what happened with my one best friend (long story, tragic and abusive and honestly just messy) i tend to think about dating anyone i get close with and idk i really need to make important friendships rn but also
me and one of my new old friends have a joke rn that were dating. and its been funny to make public jokes about it because ooooh someone might say something to us lol but like she also sends me personal heart emojis and bitmojis and its funny idk idk idk. also i said something about her future husband and she responded with “my future partner...” and like does that mean u like girls because you said you were straight?? not that it matters but like??? and i feel like more then once she just grabs my hand and holds it. (but shes the very cutesy adorable friendly type so it really could just be her being nice)
anyway like i said thats probably all in my head because i just assume that all friendships are more then that and thats my problem (thats also how i found out i was bi lmao). plus im not in any shape to date anyone right now, i need a therapist tbh but i cant handle that rn lmao.
(i will however have all the causal sex that i want because hello im human and just because im emotionally empty doesnt mean im sexually empty (anymore))