#xfile

log 04 / off-record basement

wow! i can't believe i've been time travelled back to the 10th of september 2023, just in time to post this piece for the 30th anniversary of the x-files! isnt that just crazy! an x file in itself :0!

this is available as a print!

Chapters: 8/12 Fandom: The X-Files Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Dana Scully/Walter Skinner Characters: Walter Skinner, Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, The Lone Gunmen, Marita, Orig - Character, Alex Krycek Additional Tags: Suspense, Science Fiction, Alien Abduction, Government Conspiracy, Angst, Native American Character(s) Summary:

Set between Season 7’s “Requiem” and Season 8’s “Within,” Everything Changes picks up in the aftermath of Mulder’s disappearance, as the FBI faces growing scrutiny and pressure from all sides.

A cryptic lead pulls Scully and Skinner into unfamiliar territory—one that suggests Mulder’s abduction is only part of a much larger, more insidious conspiracy.

As the investigation deepens, so do the cracks in their carefully maintained boundaries. Lines blur. Loyalties shift. And emotions long buried beneath duty and grief begin to surface.

Disclaimer: I love Mulder and Scully with all my heart, equally. This isn’t a post to dunk on one of them. It’s common to see Mulder blaming himself in fanfiction for everything wrong that happens to Scully and while, yes, I get it, the question of Mulder being selfish VS selfless has been bouncing in my brain for a while. This is my attempt at putting my thoughts on paper.

Mulder (and eventually Scully’s) quest is a costly one. It lasts for very many years and doesn’t exactly yield the expected returns. For this reason, a common interpretation of The X-Files is that there are terrible consequences to Mulder’s quest and they aren’t exactly “worth it.”  It isn’t a far-fetched idea because Scully has to remind Mulder THREE times over the course of the whole run that she wouldn’t change a day. Furthermore, one person can love the X-Files and also recognize that Scully’s life didn’t really get better for joining the X-Files - a lot of things were taken from her. 

But is Mulder to blame? This very determined man is alone (with Scully) fighting a nebulous evil that is actively harming people. I think we ought to look closer at what Mulder and Scully’s missions are, their repercussions, but also whether their fight is a worthy one. 

The Good Fight: Aliens and Men in Black

“Nothing else matters to me, and this is as close as I've ever gotten to it.”

- Fox Mulder, Pilot.

In the very first episode, Mulder opens up to Scully about his goal in life. It is not sprung upon her later in the series. From the get-go, we know that Mulder thinks that:

Extraterrestrials are responsible for his sister’s disappearance;

The US government is covering it up for some reason;

Proving this and finding Samantha are the only things that matter to him.

Over the course of the series, his focus changes somewhat. 

In seasons 2-3-4, he finds out about how women disappear, is returned with a chip in their neck, dies of cancer, and are left barren. He finds out because all of it happens to Scully and he is IRATE. In season 2, after her abduction, Mulder is out for blood to avenge Scully. At the same time, he feels guilty about her abduction, saying that he should’ve told her about the danger, that she didn’t know.

Meanwhile, in seasons 4 and 5, Samantha fades somewhat, and Scully becomes more important. He wants to hold accountable those who are responsible for the abduction and killing of women, as well as the medical rape of these women. There’s nothing negative to say about this. It appears to me to be an objectively good thing.

In the later years, after finding out what happened to Samantha, Mulder appears a little lost and less convinced by his quest. By Requiem, he wants to send Scully home from Bellefleur, saying that the cause isn’t worth it. That she should go home and carry on with her life, have children.  Why he “decides” to get on the ship remains a mystery to me, although a point could be made that once he was in the forest, he wasn’t a willing participant. 

In season 8, Mulder leaving the FBI appears, to me, as indicative that he’s kind of done. Whereas he would have fought tooth-and-nail to get the X-Files back, this time, he leaves of his own volition. Not only that, but this time, Scully is the one who has trouble letting go. 

Mulder reminding Scully that Dogget is a big boy and that she has to care of “the little boy” melts my shipper heart.

I wish the show had explored Mulder’s return more thoroughly in season 8 because he is still involved, but I get the impression that he has more to lose.

In season 9 and onwards, Mulder seems uber-focused on the end of the world in 2012. While we don’t get a good explanation for why Mulder and Scully broke up, this could be a reasonable explanation.

In the revival eras, Mulder appears to me as someone who isn’t as blinded by his quest as he used to be. Having lost Scully has probably shifted his priorities somehow.  

A Closer Look at the Syndicate: Was Mulder doing Good?

“CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN:  I’m in the game because I believe what I’m doing is right.

MULDER: Right? Who are you to decide what’s right?

CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Who are you?”

- The X-Files, One Breath, Season 2, Episode 8

So the X-Files world is doomed. Alien colonization is inevitable and would result in the extermination of humanity as we know it. Fortunately for us, a group of forward-thinking men in black, a type of shadow government, has decided to do something about it! Only this guy Mulder jeopardizes it all by threatening to expose them!

Umm... not quite.

A few times during the show, people tell Mulder that he is in the wrong for what he is doing, which begs the question: in the grand scheme of things, is Mulder doing something wrong? Is he threatening the very existence of humanity? 

- In Deep Throat, after being returned from the military base where his brain was wiped:  

“I just wanna say, everything you've seen here is equal to the protection we give it. It's you who have acted inappropriately.”

- The quote above from the Cigarette-Smoking Man, in One Breath. 

- In the episode Max, when Mulder is on a plane with a man who threatens to take it down:

MULDER: I'm sure all the other passengers on this plane would appreciate dying for your noble philosophy.

SCOTT GARRETT: Look out your window, Agent Mulder. You see the lights? Now, imagine if one of those lights flickered off. You'd hardly notice, hadn’t you? A dozen... two dozen lights extinguished. Is it worth sacrificing the future, the lives of millions, to keep a few lights on?

My understanding of the mythology is the following: The aliens will invade by infecting everybody with the Black Oil, and warned the Syndicate about it in 1973. They struck a deal whereby the Syndicate attempts to create alien-human hybrids. In exchange, the Syndicate members have to give up a member of their family to the aliens as collateral (in the Mulder family, that’s Samantha).

The Syndicate’s dilemma reminds me of the trolley problem in philosophy. However, in this case, it could be summarized as follows: Samantha dies, or, without Syndicate intervention, everybody, including Samantha, dies. 

So in the end, the Syndicate was only trying to save humanity? 

That’s debatable, and the means they used were absolutely ruthless and inhumane. Everybody was disposable. Abducting people like Max Fenig and Duane Barry, repeatedly, and causing them extreme pain and distress appeared to me to be absolutely despicable.  Likewise, abducting women, stealing their ova, creating babies with them, and leaving them barren and dying of cancer were also terrible. Furthermore, Samantha’s journals attest that she was tortured during the years between her abduction and her “death.” 

From my point of view, Mulder and Scully were the only people who took them seriously, who gave them some hope. 

At the end of the day, the Syndicate was looking to protect themselves more than humanity. And they hurt a lot of people along the way.

Mulder Fucks up Big Time

We cannot discuss whether what Mulder is doing is good without taking into account the times he FUCKED UP.

During the show, there are a few instances where Mulder is blinded by his quest. The most egregious example is from Paper Hearts, when he endangers the life of a little girl because he thinks there is a chance he might find out what happened to Samantha. Anybody else would have been sacked after this but this is the X-Files here.

One of his flaws is his impulsiveness. 

“Mulder, don’t get on the train.”

Mulder is somewhat aware of the dangers of his expeditions. One such example is when he goes to Arctica in season 2.

It’s a famous Scully ditch. In the end, Scully swoops in and saves the day, but Mulder didn’t intend it that way. He’d left her a letter explaining what he was doing:

“ Scully, when you get this message, I will be too far away for you to stop me, but where I'm going I cannot allow you to follow. I won't let you jeopardize your life and your career for reasons purely personal to me. You were right, Scully... you said a line has to be drawn somewhere. I'm drawing it for you here. I'll contact you when I can.” 

- Fox Mulder, End Game, Season 2 episode 17.

So he’s aware of the risks, especially in season 2, after her abduction. That doesn’t stop him from ditching her and needing her rescue, but he can acknowledge that a situation is dangerous and try to limit the damage to only himself. Given their bond, Scully rescues him, which could endanger her as well. 

The Cases in Between: The Flukeman, Vampires and Frankenstein 

And then there are the actual X-Files. What Mulder and Scully’s job should be. Between mytharc cases, Agents Mulder and Scully travel the USA to investigate the most outlandish claims. Sometimes their help is requested, but at others, they arrive at the scene of the crime and are treated like a nuisance. The entire X-Files policing universe, from the FBI to the average small-town sheriff, is rather hostile to Mulder and Scully’s unexpected methods, though as it often turns out, their contribution solves the case.

Exhibit 1: Squeeze/Tooms

In Squeeze, Scully’s help is requested by an old academy “friend” to solve a most bizarre string of murders. Mulder is drawn into the case too, although his ideas are not well received. Mulder is fought every step of the way and refused a surveillance details many times, only for Scully to be attacked. In this case, without Mulder and Scully acting like watchdogs, Eugene Victor Tooms would most likely be returning to the Baltimore area in 2023 to kill five more people.

Exhibit 2: Quagmire

This case turns out to be rather simple, and Mulder is also wrong in the end (or is he)? Regardless, the town sheriff they have to work with refuses to recognize there is an issue with the lake. His take on the multiple deaths occurring around the lake can essentially be summarized as people being drunk dumbasses around lakes. Even though Mulder turns out to be wrong about what is causing the deaths, he and Scully put a stop to it, and the lake is presumed to be safe again (though we never know on the X-Files).

These are only two examples of Mulder and Scully making their world a safer place. They barge in and are most often not welcomed, and yet, they end up saving people. If I were a victim of some type of monster, Mulder and Scully would be the ones I want investigating what happened. In a world of skeptics, Mulder shines. 

Repercussions: Deaths, losses, and sacrifices.

I will probably forget people/things. Apologies in advance.

Being in the close circle of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully has a huge disadvantage: a very high death rate. The following deaths can be attributed to the cause:

Melissa Scully and Agent Pendrell: the very definition of “wrong place at the wrong time.” Both their deaths are tragic and feel gratuitous. 

Fox Mulder’s dad: While his death is due to his decision to try and help Mulder for once in his life, it could be argued that he was the reason the Mulder family was on the path it was on in the first place. His involvement in the Syndicate was the reason for Samantha’s disappearance.

Emily: her very existence was a tragedy, and so was her death. She was created by evil people who never intended her to live. 

Honourable mention: Queequeg. 

Beyond death, Mulder and Scully sacrificed a lot of things to continue working on their quests:

Their lives: from the viewer’s point of view, it appears as though Mulder and Scully have nothing else going on in their lives other than the X-Files. While we can’t possibly know, especially considering we see very little of their personal lives, we know that neither Mulder nor Scully is “progressing” in their lives. Both are single without prospects despite looking really hot and their careers are at a standstill with “little to show for it.” 

Mulder seems especially eager to dedicate his life on the X-Files, Samantha, and exposing evil people who abduct people and make them suffer.  On the other hand, Scully questions her role on the X-File and their mission more than once. She even tries to appeal to Mulder to lead a normal life - a foreign concept for Mulder.

Whereas Scully is seen having a little bit of a life in the first season - her friend Ellen, going on a date with a boring guy - in the later seasons, it’s Mulder and Scully VS. the universe.

Scully progressively withdraws from her family: in season 5, we can see how the quest is taking Scully away from the family. She’s there with her family, except that she isn’t, not really. Her job is causing a rift between her and older brother, and even her mother doesn’t seem to understand her at times;

Scully’s ability to have children: considering how her ova stolen during her abduction, Scully was robbed of the possibility for children. It is a very sad discovery for her, one she has a hard time coping with;

Their BABY: due to their involvement in their mission, the safest option for William is for Scully to give him up. Repeating just to make sure we remember: SHE HAS TO GIVE UP THEIR MIRACLE BABY, THE ONE WE NEVER THOUGHT SHE COULD HAVE;

So..?

With that in mind, is Mulder and Scully’s quest worth it? Is it selfish or selfless? This post is going all over the place, trying to argue different things. At the end of the day, here are a few conclusions I can come with:

- As far as the average X-File goes, Mulder and Scully are the people you want working your case. They will not give up, and they will most likely the only people in the whole world to be compassionate and understanding. They have put a stop to many monsters who would go on killing people. Their work on the X-File is not in vain;

- As far as the mytharc goes, their mission is a noble endeavour. They are the only ones looking and trying to figure out why people like Max Fenig or Scully are disappearing and suffering. There is SOMETHING there. Alas, they are fighting something that is a lot bigger than just them, and their mission comes at a great personal cost. Beyond that, it hurts other people and the quest can blind Mulder in a way that endangers other people.

I don’t have a concrete conclusion beyond this and would love to discuss this further.