#xercis

I’m just going to go down the list of the ones I don’t agree with because it’s easier to organize my thoughts this way. (I don’t have any problems with Irvine and Zell so they’ll be omitted.)

Squall - ISTJ (Si-Te-Fi-Ne)

Squall is not a Ni user at all. He has no plans for himself ever - he makes SeeD because it’s just the next step rather than a goal he wants - and just goes with the flow and is very reactionary in general. Good in a pinch as a SeeD because of his applied knowledge of SeeD code and his extensive gunblade training enables him to carry out tasks efficiently (Si-Te). 

The fear for the future is the symptoms of inferior Ne - which is often mistaken for an INTJ’s Ni-dom. Si-Fi looping accounts for his avoidance of people (compounding with the fact that he just does not remember why he is avoiding them in the first places due to GFs). INTJ’s also generally do not thrive in confined, restrictive environments - conversely, Squall does.  

Rinoa - ESFJ (Fe-Si-Ne-Ti)  

While the the Fe-Ti is correct, Ni-Se isn’t.

Like Squall, not a Ni user. Ni users would have the plan, not plop down on the floor to discuss strategy…or wing it with the Odine bangle without properly considering the consequences. She’s bad at planning, ok? Ideas person? Yes (Ne). Planning person? Noooo. 

Like Squall, she is also very reactive to her surroundings and is often motivated by the past (Si) - while her plan to help liberate Timber is noble, it is also very much influenced by her desire to stick it to That Man.

And sorta like Squall, though to less of an extent, the tertiary Ne occasionally contributes of being wary of the future (because it has no guarantees) - but the act of sealing herself to avoid hurting the people she loves because there have been bad sorceresses is very Fe-Si-Ne playing in tandem.

Laguna - ENFP (Ne-Fi-Te-Si)

Laguna gets grand ideas and bounces around a loooot to the point of having itchy feet/wanderlust and is very motivated by his personal convictions and feelings (Ne-Fi) - even when they don’t factor in the people he loves’ best interests (understatement of the year). 

He is more practical in his application of thinking rather than to know stuff for the sake of knowing stuff (Te) and often overlooks what happened in the past - being a Ne-dom with inferior Si has probably led him to not be bogged down by the past or and learn from a lot of his mistakes in favor of keeping pushing forward. 

I mean, given the circumstances of Elle and Squall during his accidental presidency, you have to wonder why he never went back. The first thing a Fe-dom like Rinoa would have done would have been to fix things (or try to anyway) - Laguna doesn’t appear to have even tried.

Quistis - ISFJ (Si-Fe-Ti-Ne)

Like everyone else above, not a Ni user. In Quistis’s case, she is the classic overachiever who does things because she thinks it is expected of her to do things to reaffirm that she is Smart™.

Made SeeD at 15 so what is next? Teaching sounds like something that would fit the bill. Set up for failure by Garden because of circumstances she could not control and no one else had controlled ever (read: Seifer Almasy)? 

Immediately doubt talent/self worth and seek out an ear to listen (Si-Fe & inferior Ne) despite being incredibly accomplished still. 

This also rears its ugly head in the Deling City coup attempt when she abandons her post to go apologize to Rinoa when she was absolutely in the right to chew her out - a Ni user would not do this and would have stuck to the plan.

Selphie - ESFP (Se-Fi-Te-Ni)

Agreed with you there with your revision. Selphie is one of the biggest Se-dom to ever Se-dom. UNNECESSARY PLANS WITH EXPLOSIONS AND PARTAYS.

Seifer -  ESFP (Se-Fi-Te-Ni)

No explosions and partays but the self-professing battle addict and dishing out discipline in various roles as he sees fit is more Se-Fi than a Te-dom. A Te-dom wouldn’t have Seifer’s loose battle stance either for the sake of emulating a film - it’d be more exacting and he’d be far less sloppy. 

Seifer does show Te-ness in the sense that he doesn’t really learn things for the sake of learning things (this much is obvious by the troubled student status despite being a good fighter though unpredictable) but rather to apply them but it’s just at a lower slot for the aforementioned reasons. 

BINC---no, no wait, sorry, muscle memory kicked in something fierce.

I would be lying if I said that this hasn’t been an aspiration of mine for the longest time ever since I began writing bs self-insert Kingdom Hearts fanfiction back in middle school. As a consummate reader, the sheer thought of one day managing to spread my writings and provoke in people one hundredth of the emotions that I felt when experiencing stories myself has always been lurking there in a corner of my heart, in spite of all the cynicism that comes with the awareness of how fucking awful the literature industry is here (unless you’re one of those 16-years olds who get endorsed as the latest Teen Prodigy who rewrote your standard fare Generic Fantasy novel before falling into obscurity) and how difficult it is to stand out in a world where creative works are so easily accessible.

A lack of confidence is definitely a contributing factor to why I sort of “hold back” from indulging too much into any idyllic fantasy of the sort (GOD this sounds excessively pessimistic?). It is hard to think of even daring to try and produce anything for the consumption of a wild public while being aware of just how good the masters were/are in their craft. Thoughts like, this is a world where If on a winter’s night a traveler exists. And then there were none is a thing. The entire library of Discworld books. I think about these majestic works and, I don’t know, I get sort of a feeling like I’d be trying to sell vacuum cleaners door-to-door in a world where you get a free roomba machine when you come of age? It’s utterly ridiculous to even consider such comparisons, and I am making it sound way harsher than my rational thoughts on the matter are, because of course I’m aware that we aren’t encapsulated in a treasure box filled with nothing but the finest gems (I should know, since I love scarfing on a lot of garbage for the sake of satisfactory self-indulgement)... on a deep, almost instinctive level, though, that little voice is often there whispering in my ear and holding me back in one form or the other.

Even besides this though, I am aware of how utterly immature my style is: my vocabulary - as in, my vocabulary, the pool of words I directly, naturally draw from when immersed in the creative process, as opposed to searching up in a dictionary when I can’t come up with a word or really just want variety - is limited, and so is my prose’s own variety by proxy. Things like balancing dialogue and descriptions, the pacing, keeping the momentum up, there’s a lot of room for improvement - too much, I believe, to dream big, so to speak.

I also worry about my creativity itself: I’m all too aware that I’m more or less incapable of writing anything on the scale of a full-length novel, and god knows I’ve tried to come up with plots that would warrant it. Which is not to say that the short story format is anywhere near inferior! I adore it, whether from the point of view of a reader or writer, but I worry that being unable to go past it might be yet another of my limitations. It’s the sort of problem that comes with as fickle a nature as mine, really.

My attempt to start writing commissions was born more or less from a desire to test the waters and provide a neat combination of utility and fun, since I thrive a lot by expanding on other people’s ideas, and also see how well I can do with an audience interested in my writing from a “professional”, more formal manner than, say, writing a one-shot and sending it to a friend for kicks. A bit of a less biased judgement tool, yeah?

I’ve also considered branching in other mediums: I currently have a Twine and a text adventure editor tools sitting around and waiting for me to get off my ass and see if I can do anything good with them. I’d considered trying my hand at writing an actual visual novel too, but I’m completely clueless when it comes to the programming part, and let’s not even get to the visuals (You Are My Heart’s Filler Tool: An MS Paint Story probably won’t hit the shelves anytime soon). One might say that I’m a couple decades too late to try my hand at text adventures, but the medium has potential nonetheless - Slouching Towards Bedlam and Shade come to mind as short yet truly powerful narrative experiences in their own regards (I heavily recommend playing both, by the way!), and Twine is equally interesting because of not only the symplistic nature of its interactivity, but how dynamic and seamless it can feel in its execution. I might be exaggerating, but I find it simply amazing how the system works: you interact with specific, highlighted words which carry a powerful meaning, emotion and weight to the narrative; in a normal text alone this is compelling, but here it’s as if sheer narrative emotion has been turned into an interactive feature... I don’t know, it’s baffling to me that I have seen next to nothing of this system spoken about on Tumblr.

I’d also love to make an RPG Maker game! I definitely need to take some lessons in making maps that don’t look like overly bloated rooms though, bwaahaha! Either an RPG or a point-and-click style game are things I’ve been wanting to make with the engine since forever - there’s plenty of inspiration out there, although one of the most compelling experiences out there whose wonderfully crafted atmosphere I respect and admire is Wine & Roses. The utterly original gameplay and the stylish manner in which the narrative are treated are nothing short of incredible! I’d really like to make something able to evoke the same feeling of amazement I felt while playing through it, because it just feels so unique in how it uses and blends its elements together. Speaking of which, in more recent times, I’d been toying with a gimmicky idea to maybe put in practice with RPG Maker... only for this game called We Were Here to come out on Steam a couple weeks ago, which features a pretty similar concept with slightly different execution. I’m not disheartened, though! If anything, it gave me some perspective on things, and also proved that said gimmick seems to more or less work enough to be viable.

See, I spoke so much of the negative impact that direct confrontation with other works has on me that I completely neglected to speak of how impassionately I am driven by the very same factor to at least attempt to match the emotions that I derive from them. It’s equal parts a source of inspiration and intimidation!

lmao definitely stay and rest, you are in no condition to go to work anyway. Get better soon!

Its that stupid western/american mindset that we hAAVE to work while we’re sick because we think its not that bad and it gets everyone else sick and fuck that.

Thanks! I just hope its just bad today and I’ll just sleep it off.

I also have another day tomorrow which it won’t be counted as overtime anymore because I miss today so it’ll just be a regular pay day. :T