#xenoblogging

i pissed off some kid on Miiverse and it’s the funniest thing i’ve ever done

ok so

this is Melia. she’s the shortest human-like playable character in the game at 5′1″. tiny. has a “fight me” attitude but doesn’t know it. literal princess. adorable mage that learned an ancient art meant for supporting your teammates and uses it to kick fuckin ASS.

she only knows 2 non-magic attacks, and they are the best attacks in the fucking game

1. Spear Break: whack the enemy with her staff, knocking them back.

2. Starlight Kick: if used after Spear Break, induces Topple effect.

so Topple means the enemy can’t attack. they’re on the ground and can’t get up for a while. as long as the enemy doesn’t have a resistance to Topple, it’s a guaranteed hit. and MELIA, who is only 2  I N C H E S  SHORTER THAN THE MAIN CHARACTER’S SWORD, CAN TOPPLE JUST ABOUT ANYTHING SHE DAMN WELL PLEASES.

see this thing? y’know, that T-Rex looking thing? you sure? let’s get closer.

yeah this is one of the biggest monsters in the game and yet

That’s not a glitch. Those are the ice physics of Xenoblade Chronicles, everyone.

who i will protect at all costs: MELIA IS MY GIRLFRIEND AND I WILL FIGHT FOR HER ETERNALLY

who deserves better: Melia lost everything she had been fighting for 4 times in a row

who was killed off too early: Fiora. sort of. you spend a good chunk of the game trying to avenge her and i loved what i saw of her at the beginning of the game, but i wish we could’ve seen just a BIT more of her before fuckface Metal Face showed up.

who i used to hate but now i love: Oka. I dunno, she seemed a lot more harsh on Riki than i liked at first but she was just trying to feed her littlepon… plus Riki loves her so she can’t be that bad

who i used to love but now i hate: Dickson is so much fun to hate and kicking his ass was awesome

who needs to be killed off asap: i dunno everyone i didn’t like died

who is unfairly hated: Juju… what did he do wrong????

who is unfairly loved: Mumkhar??? for some reason a select few really latched onto him. his character was alright but i was on Dunban’s side at the Return to Sword Valley

who needs to sort out their priorities: DUNBAN YOU ARE INJURED I KNOW YOU WANNA FIGHT EVERYTHING BUT CALM DOWN

who needs a hug: someone save Melia from everything

who needs to get out of their current relationship: all i can think of are those 3 NPCs that ask you to sort out their love lives for you but the main cast ended up being fairly good relationship-wise EXCEPT MELIA SOMEONE LOVE HER

who the writers love: they sure loved to tear into everything Melia loved.

who needs a better storyline: Reyn. he was Shulk’s best friend and i loved him, but that’s it. i don’t even know if we ever find out HOW he met Shulk.

who has an amazing redemption arc: Alvis. less his arc, more just the resolution.

who is hot af: Am i allowed to say everyone? except Riki of course but yeah

who belongs in jail: Lorithia. not even JUST because i hate her so much, but the things she did were flat out disgusting.