Ah casual lang pala yon.
Mikha Lim x fem!Reader Oneshot
... This oneshot has angst!
Maestro please! Playing Casual by Chappell Roan
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A/n: hey.. Been a while.. So this is kinda based from a personal experience BUT I DRASTICALLY CHANGED ALOT for dramatic purposes and this isn't really that sad so yeah enjoy, I prefer writing in Tagalog so yeah😞
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We were grade 7 when we first met.
Mikha was the new transferee at my school even as the new kid she has this unresistable charm that charmed everyone there, I already knew she was way out of my league and she wouldn't talk to someone like me so I didn't even made an effort to become friends with her.
Yet for some reason, she wanted to be friends with me. At first I thought she was joking because i couldn't believe that someone like her would talk to me.
...
FLASHBACK
It was already break time and I was heading to the canteen to buy food until someone shouted my name from behind, I stopped walking and looked back thinking it's one of my classmates here to annoy me.
"Hey Y/n! Wait for me!"
It was Mikha. She was running or speed walking frantically towards me, she was out of breath by the time she finally caught up to me.
"Why do you always leave the classroom that quick?" She said out of breath but still putting up a smile at me.
"Cause if I don't I'll have to wait more longer in the line?"
"... "
"Fair enough"
Mikha said before extending out her hand to me, offering her hand to me like I was about to gamble my entire life for it.
"Wanna go there together..? With me..?"
"Why me? You could've gone with Colet... Aren't you two close?"
"Yeah but she's with Maloi and I don't wanna disturb their love life haha.."
"So why then?"
Her reasoning?
"Cause.. I like you and I hope you like me too!"
END OF FLASHBACK
...
It was a dumb reason and I didn't even believe it at first but she was so persistent into making me her friend. She didn't stop a single moment we were together and honestly I couldn't resist her charm and she seemed genuine about it.
After we 'officially' became friends, I don't know why but we just clicked, we just instantly became best friends that even Colet was jealous about it because she was the first one to become friends with Mikha.
She was very caring and doting towards me, she was careful, she would even walk me home even if it would lead her to getting scolded when she gets home late, and she would get me my favorite ice cream every Friday.
It was casual between us everyone told us we were like sisters, twins, or soul sisters what ever but that's what it felt like until when we turned grade 8.
...
I remember that day so well.
It was already end of classes and I was alone at the bathroom, crying. I just failed a test that day and I couldn't bare going home and telling them I failed because I knew my dad would get upset at me.
Even if i have wiped my tears and washed my face, it still looked I cried a lot because of my swollen eyes and I couldn't stop crying somehow.
I planned on leaving school without Mikha or either of my friends noticing me because I know they would worry about me. When i opened the door of the comfort room though unluckily for me.
It was Mikha, she had this worried look on her face like she looking for someone.
"All this time you were here I thought you left already but I know you wouldn't leave your bag randomly-"
Her brows furrowed when she finally took a good look at me, then she instantly panicked when she realized.
"Y/n! Are you okay!? Did something happen to you!?"
She took a step inside and closing the door behind her.
"Why are you crying? Is this because of the test earlier? "
"Mikha I'm fine, I just had something in my eyes"
I said to her trying to reason out of this but she wasn't listening to any word I was saying, instead she grabbed her handkerchief and started to wipe my tears while the other hand was gently gripping onto my shoulder.
"Miks I swear I'm fine.."
"Sure? Your voice is cracking and you're sniffing hard and you looked like you got punched in the eyes."
"tell me what really happened?"
Her voice was soft and caring, she stopped wiping my tears and hugged me, wrapping me with both of her arms then she started rubbing her handmy back. I just buried my face on her chest then I couldn't hold myself back to start crying again.
"Stop crying na please? What happened ba?"
"Mikha, I-Im scared"
"Shh, you're safe with me ha? Ano man yan nandito ako para sayo." (Whatever it is, I'm here for you)
She stopped hugging me and held onto my shoulders with her hands.
"It's okay if you can't tell me now but I'll be here for you to rely on, okay?"
I just nodded and she gave me s soft yet genuine smile before kissing my forehead.
"Let's go home?"
"Let's go home. "
...
After that day I couldn't stopped thinking of Mikha the same way as before, now the gestures she did to me felt different, the way she talked, the way she looked at me, the way she acted around me, over all it was different. I felt warm and much more safer around her. I couldn't explain it but at the time I already knew to myself that this isn't normal..
...
By the time we reached Senior High Mikha changed into a pretty yet af the same time she looked more handsome when she started dressing more masculine but she was still the same as before but she just got more.. Affectionate with me?
Everyday she would randomly hug me from behind no matter where we are when she gets the chance, she would hold my hand, and after class we would have this small dates.
But she would introduce me to other people as her best bud, her best friend yet when we're alone she calls me endearments beating people who are actually in a relationship.
Both of our families favored the idea of the two of us being in a relationship. My uncles and aunts thought she was my girlfriend but my mom would explain that unfortunately we aren't in a relationship yet.
To be honest I wanted it to be come true but deep down I know it wouldn't happen.
…
The night of our graduation after party, we were left alone on the balcony of the event area, she was leaning on the railing gazing at the stars while I was busy staring at her.
She was so beautiful that night, with her bright red hair that she recently just dyed it the other day flowing in the air, that fit black dress on her and her pale skin being illuminated by glow of the moon. I was at a loss for words.
I didn't say anything neither did she. We stayed quiet.
I don't know why, usually we would be talking right now about something but we both remained silent. It was quiet, cold, and bright from the light that the moon was shining upon us.
but soon that silence would be broken by her.
“you know"
"Ano?" (What)
“it's just.."
Mikha chuckles, covering her face with her hands but still staring at me with those eyes that are filled with longing through the gaps of her fingers before leaning back on the railing.
Then she let out a long sigh.
“I don't know why but I feel so complete with you haha..”
she said it with her voice so soft, scared like she'll break right after saying it..
I stood frozen at my place, I couldn't even say anything, even if I tried to open my mouth and nothing would come out. I felt like a fish that was grabbed from the water and suddenly thrown on land.
"I think-"
By the time I had the guts to say anything to her, she fainted. Good thing I reacted fast and immediately caught her before her upper body hit the floor.
"I'll have to stop you from drinking anymore.."
I sigh looking at the girl currently knocked out on my lap.
"Tanga." (Stupid)
...
After graduation I wanted to cut all contact with her but somehow I couldn’t.
Because..
I love her.
I was okay with our current setup..but after that night I couldn't stop thinking about what she said. I wanted to ask her so many questions but I cant. Maybe it was because I was scared, confused, or mad by the things she showed me yet I wouldn't dare myself to tell her what I was feeling.
Because of it, it continued, Mikha would give me affection and love and later would remind me that we are just friends and all the sweet words she said to me were meaningless.
She didn't directly say it at my face but the things she says to others tells me otherwise...
...
Then she met Aiah.
They met at a Cafe, where Mikha accidentally bumped into Aiah causing to spill Aiah's coffee on her hoodie. Mikha only took her number because she was supposed to say sorry to her and give her a new hoodie but unexpectedly they took a liking to each other and the rest is history.
Mikha adored Aiah, cared and loved her so much, to the point she forgot about the things we did, about what we had, and she forgot me. Not entirely because I was the “best friend” so I would get updated everyday yet..
Mikha would compare me to Aiah from time to time.
Like how Aiah forgot that Mikha is not a morning person and she doesn't like jogging in the morning but I would remembered that or how Aiah forgot Mikha is allergic to shrimps but I would remember that and remove or order something different for her.
When I would call out Aiah's lack of effort to her, she gets all defensive about it or acts oblivious that she doesn't really care about it because they are still getting to know each other.
But then I would get bitter about it leading to Mikha asking for forgiveness and my dumb ass would accept it after. Then there where moments where Aiah isn't there for her, then suddenly she remembers I existed.
She conveniently needs me when Aiah's isn't around and me being stupid, one call from her means I would immediately cancel what I was doing because it meant I get to spend time with Mikha and by the time I'm already on the way she would chat that it's okay and she doesn't need me anymore because Aiah is there.
It was a constant back of forth of me and Mikha arguing to also me forgiving her after.
Rinse and repeat.
It was tiring.
And I was tired.
And for the last ounce of respect I have left for me, for her and for their relationship.
I stopped talking to her.
I started to slowly pull away from Mikha and generally everyone as well because I was so tired from all of it. Tired that I could barely sleep at all because I'm here overthinking every single moment on why we couldn't be more than friends, tired that I lost all motivation on what to do anymore, I couldn't bother myself to go out anymore and so tired that I don't even know myself anymore. Tired of thinking on what did Aiah had that I didn't?
...
My friends noticed at first since after every class I would hurriedly go home or avoid them completely at campus.
My family noticed it after because I would just lock myself in my room and only leave to use the bathroom or to get food to eat.
Even Mikha noticed.
...
Few months has passed by and it's midnight, currently I'm studying for this upcoming quiz I have tomorrow and i couldn't bare getting a low score.
I was in the verge of falling asleep to the screen recording of our lecture when my phone buzzed, I stopped the video and quickly checked my phone.
It was mikha, she texted me.
I just looked at my phone for awhile, dont know what to reply back. She probably chatted me because Aiah is not with her.
Even if I ignore her messages and focus on what I was doing i couldn't, I would just get bothered and end up doing nothing at all.
So in the end I responded back.
Translation:
-so who's really at fault here?
-question mikha
-was there a meaning to what we did/had?
Translation:
-so it was nothing?
-The night of our grade 12 graduation night, when it was only the two of us at the balcony
-it was nothing to you?
I turned off my phone and took a long sigh then I couldn't stop the tears falling from my eyes. I stood up from my chair and lay down at my bed, I didn't expect that it would hurt more when it came from her.
...
A few hours has passed by, I was still sulking at my bed until i heard another notification. I know it was Mikha but I still opened my phone a decided to check what she said.
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A/n: Okay pick one maloi(Bini) or megan(Katseye) bili!!!
......Xandry out! ⋆.˚
