#x1angst

Never once you doubted your alcohol tolerance in your life even if it comes to your saddest day. But last night was different. You met a stranger, an attractively hot stranger who was a good listener. He never cut your words, he never asks questions and you liked that so much about him. You poured your problems out and for the first time you think that its fine because you wont see him again right after that.

But you were wrong.

You wake up this morning heavy headed next to him cuddling your naked body with both of your hands still entangled to each others. But what surprise you the most was everything fits perfectly, every gap, every curves and every holes, he seems to fit in perfectly. His bare toned abs touches your back gives all the comfort and warmth that you haven’t felt in a long while. That almost cause you to melt to his every touch and you fight so hard not to caress his smooth hand with your thumb. You wanted to get up and leave but your eyes were too heavy and his body were too comfy and you love the way his warm breath tickles your nape.

“Just a little while.” You smiled then snuggled back into his warmth and drift back to slumber almost instantly. You swear you just fell back asleep when you felt your phone vibrate right next to you which you saw it was on the floor when you woke this morning. You squint your eyes to see the text. It was your secretary. You sat on the edge massaging your temple with the blanket still covering your chest.

“New producer presentation at 11am.” You read as you sat while looking back then around to look for the guy from last night but couldn’t see any sign of another life inside the spacious studio apartment so you assumed the he left for work when you saw the clock. Its almost 10 in the morning.

You brushed your long raven black hair back as you just remembered that you have a meeting in an hour because Seungwoo just hired a new producer to replace the last one that you just fired and you were pretty sure he made himself clear that he wanted you to be at the presentation so you can evaluate him yourself. Your project was closing to the deadline.

“If you fire this one on halfway again we’ll be dead.” Seungwoo’s voice keep ringing in your head. You replied your secretary text telling you’ll be there in an hour.

You saw your clothes neatly folded on the sofa and there’s a note, you walked to the sofa dragging the blanket which still covering your chest as if there’s anyone in the room. You read the note with a small smile.

‘Sorry I have an important meeting this morning. Just make yourself a home and I hope I can see you again. -CSY’ You didn’t know the simple note can make your heart flutter so bad that you couldn’t help but to smile. You decided just to shower at your own apartment and left after tidying the bed. You stare at the bed for the last time. You couldn’t remember much about the detail from last night but you pretty sure you had a great time.

“Thank you.” You whispers with a smile. Maybe a gratitude for being a good listener or for giving you the pleasant sore between your legs.

The sound of your heels dominated the hallway as you make your way to the conference room only few minutes late followed by your secretary who was explaining your schedule for next week while you were checking your email on your phone. You enter the room without looking up because you already know who will be there with you, or you just don’t even care to see the person’s face. You nod when they greet you, still busy with your emails. As you take your seat on the end of the long conference desk.

“You’re late.” Seungwoo greets you in a monotone.

“Good morning too Seungwoo. Mina lets start.” You waved your hand and she hands you a portfolio.

“This is the new music producer for the ongoing project. Mr Cho Seungyoun.” She announce then took a step back. You raise your head to greet the said guy but you froze when the familiar smile greets you. Porcelain skin, cute button nose and that adorable dimple on both side of his cheeks whenever he smiles. It was the guy from last night. He bowed a little and you nodded still in shock but you manage to cover it up thanks to Seungwoo who starts to asks few question about his background.

You swear the presentation was the longest one you had ever attend and you almost broke a cold sweat every time your eyes met his. Maybe because everytime both of your eyes met, the memories from last night came back clearer. His deep delicious kiss, his gentle touch, you suddenly recall it all, and his tattoos. You can’t deny man with tattoo are ten times hotter than the one with none. You remember the one on his lower right abs which you admire so much last night. You started to play with the hem of your pencil skirt under the desk out of habits everytime you were nervous when the image of you went down on him and your lips stop right on the gun tattoo and made out with it before giving him a long blow job that you never knew you were so good at. You pinch the bridge of your nose harder and pretend to look at his portfolio when the memories of his handsome face getting it from you were getting clearer. Boy did that image just turn you on again.

“Are you okay? You seems to be out of place this morning.” Seungwoo asked when you both walked to your office followed by Seungyoun and Mina who was showing the office to him. You nod just to prevent him from asking anymore question because your head still spinning and your hangover was still there.

“Where did you go last night? We were waiting for you all night. Yohan wanted to say goodbye but he couldn’t wait for you because his flight was this morning. Did you call him?” There’s that name. The one that cause your emotion to chaos for the first time last night. But blaming him wasn’t going to change anything and it was your fault because you turned down his confession. But started to develop feeling for him right after which is already too late because he found someone else.

“I was hanging at the bar with someone last night. I couldn’t come and I should’ve have told you earlier. Sorry.” It wasn’t entirely an excuse, you were alone playing dart at your favorite bar and someone who playing next to you was playing poorly so your tipsy mind decided to challenge him for fun at first before he suddenly became so competitive and beat you almost at every round. So you end up offered yourself to pay for his drink which leads to long random talks, he insist to pay the drink instead, you don’t remember much and then you wake up on his bed. But somehow you were glad that he help you distract your mind from Yohan for a while.

You entered your office leaving Seungwoo and Seungyoun who was making their way to the studio. You were so nervous being around him so you didn’t even spare him a glance afraid that anyone would notice anything. But the thing that you like about him was he did his presentation professionally without sending any signal or hinting anything that something had happen between both of you.

“He wont be here all the time because he prefer to work on his own studio and besides, he’s only working with us only for this project and that’s until the end of the year.” Seungwoo explained while you were eating your lunch together as usual.

He were your best friend since childhood and had been there for you since the death of your parents, and during your hard time when your late father’s sibling started to show up and claiming the company that your father had established alone since day 1 was theirs too and you know nothing about it because you were still young and had no sibling. You fell rock bottom when you thought they came to mourn with you, to help you stand during your father’s funeral. You were hurt because they were your only family left but they never cared about you. Long story short, they end up had no shares on the company and their name were never mentioned during the reading of your father’s trust and annuities. They’re still finding their way to take away the company until now. But you leave everything to your legal lawyer to handle.

Seungwoo was there for you and end up working together with you helping you run the company so he can keep an eye on you all the time. You were glad that he did, but at the same time you hate it because it gives you the idea that you aren’t capable of taking care of yourself.

Everything that happened in your life slowly turns you into a darker person. You started to talk less even to Seungwoo which worries him but you brush him away everytime he asks too much question. Even Yohan tried comforting you as he was working at the company even before you took over, so you both were quite close before you starting to develop feeling for him, but you end up pushing him away as well just because you don’t want to talk about the reason you are distancing. Its just that you think that no one will understand how hurt you are, how tired you are. You had to give up your everything for the sake of your father. Sometimes you hate him for leaving you right after your mom did. Sometimes you just miss being yourself again.

So you created a new you. An alter ego. Who would treat everyone as cold as ice, your aura screams respect every where you go. People even bow to your shadow and it appeal you. But the truth is, that was just to mask how weak and tired you are with the life you’re living in. everything was too dull for your liking. You don’t even smile much anymore even with Seungwoo.

“Do you always work till late night like this?” You almost stumbled on your heels when you saw Seungyoun standing right beside you at the taxi stand waking you up from your train of thoughts. You almost smiled upon seeing him before you but you didn’t.

You gave him only a nod. Adverting your focus back to the road you leaned your elbow on the rail again so you wont miss any taxi that passes by. You fight back your weak heart that screams to you asking you to look at his handsome face again. But your head wont let you. You only took your mask off when you’re at home.

“Sorry I saw you leaving so I decided to follow just to greet you.”

“Just to greet me?” You can’t help to think that how sweet his gesture was, then it take you back to the note he left you this morning. Maybe he just some guy that always sweet talk to girls just to make them sleep with him. Your heart and head really had some arguments going on right now and it makes you dizzy.

“Do you want to join me for dinner?” His voice make all the voices in you stops and you almost thank him. But you guess you head won.

“Why so sudden? I don’t even know you.”

“So did last night. But we’re doing just fine.” He chuckled and smiled at you showing his dimples again.

“It was just a one night thing.” You bit your lip for being too forward. It was weird that for the first time you were afraid to hurt him.

“I want to know you more. I’m not that kind of guy.” He walk closer to you closing the gap with his smiles that you’re pretty sure will be one of your favorite if he wont stop appearing in front of you.

“Thank you for showing me that gentleman still exists but I don’t think its necessary. Good luck for the project. I’ll see you at your next presentation Mr. Cho.” You bowed slightly leaving the attractive guy as you saw a taxi came to a halt and he managed to open the door for you making your heart flutters again. You didn’t look back after the taxi dash away from the stand.

Another day on the meeting because you were close to year end so your company schedule were packed with award show and concert. You were busy visiting few site where the event will take place to monitor the progresses and that is how you gain respect from every single person in the industries. You took part in every project without anyone tell you to unlike other CEO who only listen to the progress from the second party. You like being scared off, you like it when people bowed down to you especially the older one. It turn you into a snob but you gives no shit because you did your job perfectly.

“Anyeong CEO-nim.” You were in the middle of monitoring the staff doing the sound check with a few artist doing their rehearsals when a quite familiar voice made took your focus away. It was Seungyoun.

“What are you doing here? I thought you asked to work at your on place and I’m sure that this is not where you should be.” You talk without looking at him even a part of you was dying to see him after a week since your last encounters at the taxi stand.

“Seungwoo hyung told me that you were here which is a few block from my place and I decided to stop by just to say hi.” He chirped and the corner of your lips almost lift up to his cuteness but you manage to stop it from happening. You hate it when he made your heart flutters, you were fine the whole weeks. But you refuse to gave in to your own feeling, which you never did. Not even once. But then you’ll suffer alone regretting all the decision you had made. But your mind doesn’t seems to care about your heart either.

“You’ve said it. You can leave now.” You didn’t even spare a glance to him afraid your wall would fall down and gave in as soon as you see his face. Because you still remember how good looking the man was and his sweetness and randomness did leaves some crack on your walls.

“I saw a nice Chinese restaurant on my way here.” You furrowed your brow finally looking at him questioning how the hell did he know your favorite food and he seems to pick it up.

“You told me that night.” He raise his hand surrendering as if you’re going to attack him for knowing what you like. You rolled your eye with a scoff.

“Well you told me a lot of thing you know, and the woman from that night was total opposite from this one. Its almost like she was another person.” He mumbled the few last words with a pout and you couldn’t help to think how adorable he is.

“How old are you really?” You crossed your arm and lean your body on one side of your foot. You were honestly curious. There’s no way he’d act like this if he was on the same age with you or Seungwoo.

“I’m not a minor for sure.” He gave you a sly smile which had you taken aback a little.

“so do you want to eat lunch with me or not?” he tilted his head. “yes or yes.” He interrupted before you even had a chance to open your mouth and you’re pretty sure he’s not the type that’ll back down in any occasion, so you went.

He came to you every single day to join him for lunch or dinner. Sometime you succeeded at pushing him away, buy most of the time, he managed to drag you with him and feed you. At first you both were eating in silence, super awkward silence. But as day passes by, you started to like his company, even how annoying he can be, he’s the only one who can distract you from your stress from overworking yourself every single day. You started to smile a little and you glad he never mention it. Eating lunch together had become a routine for both of you. You found yourself waiting for him to barge into tour office just to say ‘good morning’ or to take you for lunch and sometimes his weird self just waved at you everytime he saw you in a meeting room.

He did made you loosen up a little bit and many of people saw it, your worker also loosen a little bit around you, they sometimes smile when they bowed to you. Strangely, it made you feel good. They seems to like you more and still respect you. You slowly loving your office atmosphere because of him. He put some color to your dull office and not to mention, to your life too.

But you never stop wondering.

Will it last?

Will he last?

Of course he’s not. You saw him one day with eating with some girl. The girl was holding his hand and you saw him noticed you and pulled his hand away from her. You were hurt, jealous because you ridiculously think that it should had been you. You were with Seungwoo and Mina that day and they saw it too. They seems to noticed you were in distress as you excuse yourself to the ladies.

“Y/N. its not what you think.” You heard his voice when you were about to push the door.

“What should I think then?” Your hand was obviously shaking but you turned to face him instead. Your heart was literally giving up and you let your mind took over.

“She’s-“ you cut him even before he could talk.

“I don’t understand Seungyoun. Why should I listen to your explanation when it wasn’t necessary.” You calmed yourself down. Its your turn to hurt him with your poisonous tongue.

“Why do you act like we had something special between us that it’s a must for me to be jealous?” You ask him which you already saw how hurt he was and it hurts you too. But that wasn’t enough to make you stop.

“I don’t really care about your private life Seungyoun. I went to lunch with you everyday because I feel bad for making you work so hard more that other because we’re so close to the dead line and sometimes you give me no choice, nothing more than that. Stop thinking that we had anything going on between us, because clearly nothing is going on between us, and it never will.” Lies. You had the urge to smile at him before you left him without giving him the chance to say anything. You saw how hurt he was and it kills you for not giving him any chance to explain. But you’re hurt too.

“What’s wrong Y/N?” Seungwoo confronted you after you blow off almost single person you saw after you went back from your untouched lunch. Its almost like a hell break lose when you found some error in ledger on you table. You almost fire someone if its not because of Seungwoo who almost drag you into his office.

“This.” You throw the ledger on his table and he pick it up.

“But firing him wont solve anything Y/N. I know this wasn’t entirely about this ledger. Its about Seungyoun isn’t it?”

“What about him.” You crossed your arms and leaned on the couch. Not knowing if you can keep your walls intact if you heard his name again.

“You love him didn’t you?”

Crack.

“Seungwoo don’t start.” You tears had threatening to fall, you bit your lips as it started to quiver.

“See. You cant even deny it. Did you give him any chance to explain when he followed you to the ladies?”

Silence.

“Stop pushing people away from your life Y/N. they wont stay like I did because they don’t know you like I do. I know your regret when you pushed Yohan away. I hurt me to see you hurt when he left right after you reject his confession. Don’t do that to Seungyoun too. Listen to your heart only for this once.” He was on his knee now. Holding your hand trying to persuade you. But you refuse to give up, you let your tears fall and he carresed your cheeks.

"Stop." You beg. Adverting your blurry vision to somewhere else.

“you’re not the only one who had to sacrifice your dream to stand here. We both were young when we started to take over. I know I don’t deserve to say this because you lost everything and I don’t. but please stop being a coward and take the risk Y/N. Chase him. I never saw you smile like that for years and I miss that. At least give him the chance to explain. Don’t lock yourself up like this. Everybody hurt sometimes, you just need to be brave to take the risk. But for now, just take a few day off and rest for now. Sort everything out. Just call me if you need someone.” He tapped your head with his soft smile and stand ready to leave you with the ledger.

“Seungwoo.” You called before rushing to his embrace which. He smiled and let you cried into his chest.

“I love him yes. But i'm scared. It hurts so much that I cant even breathe. It feels like de ja vu. The pain. You know. I was so scared.” You sobs as he caressed your hair. You couldn't even talk properly.

“Shhh. Its okay. You’ll feel better after you listen to his explanation even if its not the one you expect to hear. Take all the time you needed first. Put your heart first this time. Choose what makes you happy.” He hushed you and let you stay in his office until you’re ready to drive home.

You were feeling restless at home, tossed and turn on your bed. Is it because of what you said Seungyoun. Did you overeacted? Or did you feel guilty. You couldn’t denied the fact that you feel emptier without his text and phone call. Did he managed to fill the void in you all this time? Did your stupid mind had realize it too now? Was that’s the reason why you felt lonelier than before. You realize how you’re hoping that all the text from Seungwoo asking if you’re okay was from him instead. You heard you doorbell rang and take your time to open it. Mybe its Seungwoo who come just to check up on you. It had been three days you locked yourself up in your apartment.

“Hi.” He stood with his hand waving at you. Seungyoun.

“How do you know I live here?” You asked. Surprised.

“I asked Seungwoo hyung. Sorry. I know I shouldn’t have, but please. Listen to me. Only for this time.”

“I was trying to fix things by trying to know you more and asked you out for a decent lunch and dinner you know. I just though that maybe if I sent you home instead of taking you home that night maybe things would be different for us because I really like you. Call me weird because we just met that night but I like the way you really see the world. You weren’t that cold as a person, you’re just tired. You didn’t said it but I know by all the stories that you had told me that night. But I was stupid. I thought that if I take you home, you’ll stay. We can bloom. But I was wrong. I’m sorry. I wont bother you anymore I promise. I came because you didn’t let me explain myself that day. The girl was my ex who wanted to get back. But I turned her down because I want to be with you instead. I’m sorry.”

He gave you a small smile before turning his heels to leave. You still couldn’t move your limbs as your mind was in a middle of a war between stopping him and apologize or letting him go and live your dull life without him. But your heart keep telling you that you need him more than you think. He lightens your life these past week, radiate your life like a thousand sun. He was your distraction when you’re way too caught up with your stupid job.

“For fuck’s sake.” Shutting all the voices inside your head and you ran out from your apartment straight to the elevator barefoot. You press the button and it open immediately. He’s still there, looking down, but raise his head after the door open fully. Boy how your heart beat drumming through your ribcage when you saw him. The door closed and you hurriedly press the same button again. He saw your urgency even no word escaped your lips, he seems to understand. He walk out and cupped your cold face. You stare into his eyes and you saw hope. Then, you advert your eyes to his lips before catching it with yours. He kissed back without hesitation and let you drown in his sweet delicate lips.

“Please stay.” You said after you pull away. You leaned your head on his chest which you could feel his heartbeat as well matching your own. He took you into his embrace giving the warmth that had been lost for years. You felt safe again. All the voices in your head had disappeared putting you in ease.

“I’m sorry for what I’ve said. I never regret my word so much like I did this time.” You look for his eyes which now looking at you with adoration. His sweet smile never left his face.

“I’m sorry too that my behavior had given you the wrong idea. I should’ve just said it so there wont be any misunderstanding.” He pulled your head into his chest again and rest his chin on top of your head.

“I like you too you know. I just afraid if acknowledge that feeling, I’ll lose you too just like I lose everyone I cared for.”

“I promise I will stay if you let me.” You smiled to his chest and muttered okay and he tightens his embrace just enough to make you feel safe that someone had hold on to you now. That you’re not alone anymore and you’re ready to feel again. To feel loved.

“How was your day?” Wooseok caressed your hair as you rested your head on his shoulder when he decided to stay longer after dinner at your house just to cuddle with and watch any movie that was broadcasted that night by your side. Usually he left early for his night shift, but you understand because you know how a doctor work, crazy shift hour and sometimes he had to work 72hours nonstop. But he always manages to stops by the morgue to have lunch with you when you couldn’t leave or anytime he could just to cheer you up.

“Long and tiring.” You sighed even you know your work aren’t as crazy as his. Watching you hand caressing his that was rested on your tight, it was soft and you bring his hand to your face and place it on your cheek smiling to his warm touch. You raised your head to face his and saw he was smiling. Your face was inches away from him and closes the space between it to taste his lips. It was your favorite taste. He kissed you back softly deepening the kiss and his smile never left his face. His hand found his way to snake behind your back while the other cupping your cheek then your neck before his lips trailed down leaving soft kisses all over your jaw line then down to your shoulder slowly arousing you. You hummed to the kiss then your eyes flutters open. But he was gone. Wooseok. You were greeted by cold empty living room that wasn’t yours.

It was night time and it was dead silence. You assumed that Seungyoun must be still sleeping because there’s no any sign of life inside the house besides you. With a deep sigh you sat down before walking to the kitchen counter to get some stuff inside your bag to check on his wound. When you were looking for bandage inside your bag, your phone fell to the ground facing down revealing Wooseok’s picture that he put at the back of your phone. It was a picture of you two at the beach on summer night you were taking selfie and he was looking at you smiling fondly. It was your favorite photo because you looked pretty you said. But the truth is you love the way he looked at you. It made you feel loved when you always think that no one does. You crouched on the floor staring at his loving face as you took your phone from the floor.

“I miss you.” You whispered while caressing his face. You felt a big lump forming inside your throat that you swallowed and got stuck in your chest. It pained you from the inside that you had to clutch your chest to stop the pain. But it didn’t work at easing the pain. You hugged your knee and buried your face on top of it pressing your eyes to suppress your tears.

“Hey are you okay.” You probably didn’t hear him coming because he was already standing behind you. You stayed in that position for a while rubbing your eye before standing slowly to put your phone back inside your bag before turning your body facing him with a forced smile. He saw a glimpse of the photo and gave you a worried look.

“I’m okay, I was just looking for bandages and stuffs to clean up your wound again.”You turn your back on him because you started to feel your lips quivered. You had shut your eyes tightly because your tear had threatening to fall and you don’t want to break down in front of a stranger embarrassing yourself.

“You shouldn’t move much. Sit on couch will you. Just give me a minute.”

“Hey.” He called you softly turning your body around facing him again. He looked into your teary eyes tried to say something but maybe he couldn’t find any words to comfort you because he don’t know much about you. He pulled you close and you let him took you into the comfort of his embrace.

“I promise after everything’s okay I’ll take you home in one piece. I promise.” He rested his chin on the top of your head and swings your body slowly side to side to calm you down.

“Thank you for saving me and treating my wound. I love those stitches.” You chuckled and just let your tears fall dampening your cheek. He let you cried on his chest a little more while caressing your hair. It was the opposite of the woman who saved him that day, who had strongly grab a dead man body to cover her body from the bullet. He had so many questions to ask. But seeing you like this had stop all the voices in his head and just want to hold you close make you feel better.

“Did you learn how to treat people’s wound from your boyfriend?” He asked while you check the stitches and applied solcoseryl gel on his wound. You nod with a smile.

“He always came by to the morgue and laugh at the way I stitch the dead body. He once taught me how to stitch properly and make it look nice. But then my boss laughs at the way I stitch them saying that she bet the dead person must be so thankful that I stitch them like they’ll be alive again to see those pretty stitches.” And he laughs at you. But his laugh sounded like something you always listen to. A laugh that sounds like it already had a home inside your heart that its sounds so familiar. But you brushed the thoughts away, thinking that maybe your path had crossed, but you didn’t recognize him at the time.

“Sounds like a good guy.” He cut your thoughts and you just nod again.

“Done. Here’s your painkiller.” It’ll last until morning, and then you need to take it again.” You hand him a bottle of medicine and clean up the bandages on the floor.

Seungwoo came by midnight brought some food and some good news.

“Your job is up until here Seungyoun. The rest of the team will take over and they are on their way to catch the culprit that sent the shooter at the hospital and the café.” You lift your head from the food and looked at Seungwoo with a surprised look. He smiles at you nodding, knowing what you’re about to say.

“So I can go home?” You asked with a hope in your voice and he nod making you throw your head back with a big smile oblivious of the solemn look that was plastered on the other man face.

“Thank you so much.” You beamed gaining a bigger smile from Seungwoo.

“You two can stay here for the night. Tomorrow someone will pick Y/N up to send her back to Busan.”

“I’ll send her.” Seungyoun cut him sharply making Seungwoo look at him confused with his sudden change of attitude.

“I promised her I’ll send her myself.” He explained when there was an awkward silence starting to engulf the room.

“No. you need to go to the hospital and get your wound check up.” Seungwoo protest looking at his fresh shirt that already had a blood stain on it worriedly.

“She already did it. She’s a doctor too.”

“No Seungyoun, I’m a forensic pathologist.” You sighed no longer able to stay silence looking at Seungyoun’s stubbornness.

“Still, you already cleaned up my wound and I can get it check at your hospital.”

You and Seungwoo both had lost of word to fight him. Seungwoo left you both and you sleep at the couch after cleaning yourself up. Smile never left your face with the thinking of going back to Wooseok arm tomorrow morning.

Maybe you’re too tired that you didn’t hear someone sneaked into the house and when you did. It was too late. They injected you with something that made you felt drowsy and numbed your body. You saw they drag Seungyoun then you inside a car. You could see him still sleeping next to you with both of your hand and feet tied up until you too give in to the unconsciousness.

***

“Wakey wakey Y/N” You heard someone sing song your name. Mocking you. You struggled to open your eyes and steady your head because you’re on the chair and your head loosely dangling left and right. It was cold and dead silent, the white light was blinding yours vision. When your eyes had adjusted to the light, you saw your own reflection on a large mirror in front of you. You were inside a white room, almost like a lock up in an asylum and there’s a another room from the other side behind the large mirror, you know because you have visited one before.

“Look who had gotten their memory back. Should we celebrate Wooseok?” You search for the source of the voice and spot a speaker on the ceiling. Then you saw your reflection slowly dissipate and you saw a glimpse of five people slowly getting clearer. You saw Wooseok standing behind a man and Seungyoun who was tied up and guarded by two large men that was almost two times bigger than him pointing a gun to his chin. He face was all bruised and bloody from the cut on his forehead while his shirt was stained by you know was from his wound.  It breaks your heart seeing him bearing the pain. You could only send him an apologetic look which made him shook his head knowing what you’re thinking. You then looked to Wooseok trying to ask him to save you but his face was stoic. There was no any sort of emotion on his face.

“Wooseok.” You called but there’s no answer. You struggle to release yourself from the chair but you were bounded to the chair tightly by a rope on your chest.

“Wooseok.” You called again. But he didn’t budge. He was looking at you with empty eyes. Like a stranger. Like he’s not the man you loved for almost three years. You wanted to cry, you wanted to run to him and hug him. You want him to tell you that it was okay. To tell you that this all was a lie. You want him to tell you that this was just a stupid scenario that you made up inside your stupid mind. But you know it wasn’t and you know he won’t do any of that.

“What do you want from me?” You shouted to the man.

“I assumed you’re confused.” He cocked his head to the side, smirking.

“I want you to see someone first before I explain.”

“YooA.” He called before you heard someone entered the room. You were more confused when you saw a girl that looked so much like you.

“YooA.” You recalled Seungwoo mentioned her name. She was Seungyoun’s late girlfriend. The one that Seungyoun said was already dead. You turn to Seungyoun. He was trying to make a move escaping by elbowing one of the bodyguards but the bigger man gripped him by the neck and took control of him in instant which make the guy that was in front of Wooseok to chuckle.

“Greet your sister YooA. We’ve been keeping her for too long.” The guy sneered and she scoffed.

“What is this? Who is she?”

“She’s your sister Y/N and you both are assassin. My father took both of you from the orphanage and trained you two to be his assassins.” He walked closer to the glass resting his hand on the frame before continuing.

“He sent you off to a mission. But it was a failure and I did what I had to do, but of course I don’t want to kill his favorite assassin. I keep you at the hospital and put Wooseok there to keep an eye on you in case one day you remember and came back to us. But this guy found you and took you again and we couldn’t take the risk of you choosing his side when you remember everything.” He gestured to Seungyoun but you don’t understand a thing that he was saying. You don’t know him or the girl that was standing in front of you. You had no memory or whatsoever about any of them except for Wooseok.

“I don’t even know what you’re saying. I never saw any one of you.” You looked at him then to Wooseok asking for more answer.

“YooA was a double agent who’s working with him.” He pointed to Seungyoun and you turn to look at Seungyoun whose chest rising up and down still constantly struggling to loosen the big man’s grip.

“But on the second day when she was on her own mission, she was shot and I couldn’t take the risk to send her. So you volunteered to be her substitute because you two could pass as a twin if no one pays too much attention. But it was a big mistake. For month you were doing so well but you fall in love. Which is a big risk that you will betray us. So we killed you in front of your secret lover.”

“But her heart stopped. She died in my arm.” Seungyoun looked more than confused.

“Teradoxin B. It slows down the heart down and at some case its stops it momentarily. But luck was on our side, you left her dead body and then my people who should’ve taken her back got into an accident and she’s the only one who survived so we had her face reconstructed. But she lost her memories and it was easier to brainwash her without any memories.”

“I came back but you weren’t there.” Seungyoun stare at your eyes in sorrow then looked down. You saw regret on his face but you couldn’t feel anything but sorry for him because you couldn’t even remember him.

“Enough with that. Just let me kill her.” You could hear irritation in her voice. You looked at her trying to recall any memories of her, but you found nothing.

“No YooA it be such a waste for her years of training. Fight her. The one who wins get the chance to kill the one who lose. Isn’t that fair?”

“Works for me.” She walked to you with a grim smirk plastered on her face while you were looking back and forth between her and Wooseok.

“Wooseok save me.” You pleaded. You couldn’t do anything to protect yourself because your hands were tied up tightly that any movement could leave blisters on your wrist. You saw she swung her fist hitting your cheek hard making you and your chair fall to the floor hitting your head on the hard concrete floor making you winced to the pain.

“You are nothing compare to me.” She untie your hands pulling your collar before throwing another punch that caused your head to starts rings and your eyes were blurry. She tightens the grip on your collar to prevent you from moving too much and threw more punches to your face repeatedly that at some point you heard a crack somewhere in your face but you did nothing. The headache had numbed you body and you couldn’t move you limbs to protect yourself.

But at every punch you feel a sting almost like someone slides in a piece of broken glass that contains fragments of your memories inside your brain slicing every meat of it forcing you to remember. You saw a picture of yourself holding a gun, killing people, and then you saw Seungyoun smiling at you lovingly, laughing wholeheartedly at your words, kissing you. The last straw was you saw him holding you with tears, fear plastered on his face and you heard him whispered ‘I love you, please stay awake, I’ll go get help. Please stay awake.’ There was urgency in his voice, he was lost. He kissed your forehead before limping to the nearest door at the vacant factory and you could hear your heartbeat slowing down and it all went black at your last heartbeat. Then the shattered fragments started to rebuilt and you remembered piece by piece. It came with a surge of pain that had you screaming making her stop for a while and release your collar making you fall to the ground. They all went silent, even Seungyoun had stop screaming trying to make her stop.

You were on your both hands preventing yourself from lie down on the floor. You were breathing sharply trying to endure the unbearable pain inside your head and your face, your blood had smeared the floor and her fist. But you could feel the adrenaline surge throughout your body that you could almost see she was about to throw another punch in slow motion. Your raised you left hand to block her punch without a flinch and she was petrified. You let out a low dark chuckle before staring into her eyes. She was shocked and you twisted her arm then grab her neck standing up pushing her down with your right arm. She grabs your wrist tightly to make you loosen your grip. She started to choke and hitting your arm repeatedly, but you ignored the sore and put more force to grip until she had no energy left to even raise her limbs.

“Y/N.” She called in between her choke.

“Oh. So you recognize me.” You sneered.

“Let me go.” She used her last energy to reach for your face but you dodge it.

“You are nothing compare to me.” You mocked with a smirk before taking her small knife on her belt that you saw while she was punching you and duck down swiftly cutting her femoral artery which will caused her to bleed  to death within a minutes if no blood transfusion done immediately. You stood back looking at her dying slowly as her blood pooling the floor before looking at the man inside the glass room then to Wooseok. He was looking at you in horror, like you’re some kind of monster.

But that what they used to call you.

A monster.

You heard a clap from the man that you remembered as Yohan. The man who grew up with you and watched you and your sister trained alongside his father as his father successor.

“Finally. It took years for you to come back.” He smirked.

“Are you sure you won’t regret your decision bringing me back? Yohan?” You walk closer to the glass looking at him dead in the eye. He gesture his hand to Wooseok and one of the man walked towards him with a gun and grip his neck making your heart dropped.

“I assume you were wondering what he got to do with this.” He leaned closer taunting you.

“He’s my father’s doctor and he owed my father a lot that even after my father’s death he’s willingly to obey my order to pretend as your lover. He must make sure that you didn’t find Seungyoun, he need to make sure you’re kept safe under the radar. But he failed. You and Seungyoun’s strong fate had failed him that now I had to kill him and it all will always because of you.”

“Don’t you dare.” You growled.

“Oh so you have feeling for him?” He mocked.

“Did you ask him was his feeling even real?” You looked at Wooseok but he had no expression plastered on his face. Your heart dropped again. Even after you gained all you memories, but your feeling for him were real. The memories between you and him shine brighter than others that just came to light. You love him even your heart long for Seungyoun.

“I will let them go unscratched if you work for me again.” He bargained. But you remember why you gave in to your feeling for Seungyoun, it was because you wanted to change. Being with Seungyoun everyday as his partner made you change your mind. You wanted to stop killing innocent people. You wanted to start fresh with him.

“I have test for you to make you polish your rusty skills. Fight all the guard that leads you to this room and then you will remember your real intention of living. You live for this. Don’t bullshitting me that you wanted to stop and started a new life because you can’t. You are a monster Y/N. No society will take you in if they knew what abomination you had committed your entire life. Only I will accept you with an open arm.”

You heard the door from your back open and two men entered stop right in front of the door, blocking it preventing you to escape. You grip the knife tighter and you run towards them with a light step dodging one of the man at the front deadly punch before standing up slitting the one on the back’s throat deeply and when you stop right on the other’s man back, you stab the knife right on the back of his neck before drag the knife down to cut his spinal cord. They both dead in the blink of their eyes shocking all the men in the other room who was witnessing everything.

“It was a big mistake to wake up the monster. Don’t you think?” You sneered and saw Yohan was getting nervous as you walked out the door to be greeted by four men. You run full speed towards the first man then glide with your knee slicing his outer tight and grab the second’s man hand which is holding a gun ready to shoot you. You twist his hand making his grip on the gun loosen and you took the gun from him shooting all four without a miss.

“Are you trying to kill her?” Seungyoun shouted to Yohan who was busy watching you fighting another group of his men on his cctv monitor. Group of men that were waiting for you in another corner was bigger than the first six you had fought.

“Maybe I am. But I know what she is capable of. She won’t die that easy.” He smirked turning his body to face Seungyoun and Woseok who was still gripped by his strongest men.

“You see. This woman has no flaws in her skills. She can escape bombs, rains of bullet and a combat fight with dozens of men. But when I saw her with both of you, I finally realize that what my father had said about her was a lie. She does have flaws, her weakness is her own feeling and my only weapon that can kill her is both of you.”

“Why did you keep her alive all this time if you ended up killing her?” Wooseok finally spoke gaining a glare from Yohan.

“That wasn’t my intention at first. But you let her slip between your fingers in front of your eyes to her lover that she was about to betray me before I shot her myself. If it wasn’t for your mistake this wouldn’t be happened at the first place. You two will die with her in this building. I will make sure she saw you both dying first and trust me, she will willingly die without even fighting.”

The door swung open harshly as you kicked the door with two guns on your both hands startling all the men. You point the gun to both bodyguard and your eyes were on Yohan. He was in great shock by the sight of you covered in blood standing tall right in front of him. He was expecting you to take longer to reach the room. He was unprepared. He was expecting you to be dead before you could even reach the room. But he realizes how he had underestimated your ability.

“Stop this nonsense or I will end your life Yohan.” You growled sending shiver down to his spine.

“If I die, they die!” He pull out a gun and pointed it to you making you shifted the one you pointed to the man behind Wooseok to him instead making the man behind him pointing his gun to you and was about fire but Wooseok managed to push his hand upward saving you from the bullet. But by the sound of gunshot, Yohan got startled and fire a bullet but it didn’t hit you. You didn’t saw Wooseok coming hugging you from the back and turn his back to Yohan and the bullet hit him instead. In the midst of the turn you took the opportunity to shot the guy that was with Wooseok then the one behind Seungyoun before you grab Wooseok body whose was about to fall. You hug him tightly as tight as the knot in your stomach.

“Wooseok no.” You whimpered clutching his body tightly. You could feel his hand caressing your hair slowly and he rested his head on your shoulder leaning all his weight on you making you both slumped on the floor sitting down embracing each other. You could feel his heartbeat beating slower and it make yours beating like crazy. Your emotion hit you like a hurricane. You were raging like fire looking at Yohan who was still had a grip on his gun still pointing it to you, you were in a verge to put a bullet in his head but you were too scare to let Wooseok go. You were afraid once you let him go, you won’t be able to feel his heartbeat again.

“It was real.” He whispered calming your nerve down and your breathing. You furrowed your brow and lean back to look at his face. His face was pale and his eyes were droopy, like he could fall asleep anytime.

“Everything was real.” He smiled and caressed your tear smeared cheek then lean his head back on your shuddered shoulder.

“I love you and I will always will.” He said his last words before everything went silence. You heard nothing but your own heartbeat. You screamed your lungs out still clutching Wooseok’s body tightly. You wailed to his ears begging him to come back as if you had the control to his life and death. You sway your body back and forth like a mother rocking her baby whispering every loving word to his ears pleading him and to all the deity to make him alive again.

“Come back please. Baby I promise I be good to you. I promise I be good. I promise. Please come back.” You whispered in between sobs still rocking his body taking all his scent from his soft locks that you always love to caress when he’s asleep. You rocked your bodies longer and still begging until you heard a click and saw Yohan was ready to fire away but you didn’t do anything because you thought you had nothing more to lose. But when he saw you were ready to give up he shifted the gun to Seungyoun and your senses hit you like a giant truck making you swiftly stood blocking the bullet from hitting Seungyoun and it hit your shoulder. You ignore the pain and run to Yohan ignoring Seungyoun’s plead trying to stop you. Yohan shot another three hitting your few spots on your chest before you stood right on his face and stab him right on his heart while looking into his eyes then you push the blade deeper gaining a grunt from him and he grab your hand which already had his blood before you pull out the blade and watch his body fall to the cold floor. You then give up to the pain and fall kneeling to the ground watching your blood pooling on the floor. You saw Seungyoun rush to you kneeling in front of you hand still tied tightly, there’s a severe blisters on his wrist. You cut the rope with all the energy you had left and you grab his hand then his face while his hand grabs your waist to help you balance your body. You saw his teary eyes and his lips quivered.

“I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you.” You wipe his tears and he leaned his forehead on yours before pulling you into his embrace.

“Stay with me please. We can start over again. Please. I don’t want to lose you again.” He cried on the crook of your neck but you didn’t even had the energy to raise your head from his shoulder and you could only see Wooseok lifeless body laid not far from both of you. You were glad if you die right there because you wouldn’t have to bear the pain of living without Wooseok, but somewhere deep down inside you refuse to give up and force you to fight to stay in Seungyoun’s arm longer, to live and be with him again, to replace all the years that you both lost stolen by Yohan. But you were tired, it was like a De Ja Vu where he hold you in tears begging you not to die. You hate how he had to go through the same thing twice, suffering the same pain twice. You couldn’t do anything to change things even you hope you can. You pat his lower back as you let your lid fell giving in into unconsciousness.

You heard the door swing open revealing a full body armed man with an auto on his hand. But when he saw you and Seungyoun on the floor, he took of his face cover revealing his face. You finally be able to breathe when you saw Seungwoo rushed to you ripping your shirt to check on your wound.

“I need paramedic right now. There’s a woman with life threatening wound and she’s losing too much blood.” He talk to the radio on his shoulder in urgency before a few men come taking you up on the stretcher with you slowly losing conscious but managed to tug Seugyoun’s hand gaining his attention.

“Take Wooseok with you please.” You pleaded and he nods with a smile watching the paramedic took you away. You felt cold as your eye closed you could hear your own heartbeat beating slowly and you heard the indistinct chattering all around you began to fade, you let the drowsiness take over as your mind started to wander back to the earliest day you could remember and it played like a record until you found yourself standing right in front of Wooseok smiling in all white a contrast from yourself, body full of blood and bruise. But he didn’t say anything and you run to his open arm ignoring how your bloody body had smeared him but he doesn’t seem to care either. He took you in his arm tightly washing away all your tiredness and the pain.

“Live and you will always find me inside your heart even if it’s occupied. Because I love you.” He whispered and you close your eyes with a smile feeling the warmth of his body for the last time before it all went black and you starting to hear all kinds of machine occupying your ears. When you lift your heavy eyelid, you were greeted by a blinding lights and sore on your throat from the intubation. Your face were tight and sore but you could feel warmth on your hand from a tight grip, when you shift you head to your left, you saw Seungyoun was sleeping on a chair next to you, head on your bed facing you. You tried to move your thumb to caress his hand and he wake up instantly looking at you. His face lightens when he saw your eyes were open and he then rushed out to call the doctors. You stare at the ceiling letting your mind wander back to Wooseok and you let your tears fall again praying silently so he could be in peace somewhere up there.