#x thoughts

X thoughts

There are times when I get really tired of people.

I hate my ability to figure out a person before they even speak, I scold myself for always spoiling the fun of discovering a person only from the information that they allow to share. But my brains is always faster than me, it just gives me unnecessary information sometimes stuff that people don’t want to share, things that they would rather keep to themselves, yet I’m able to gasp that without even trying, and people don’t like intruders. Like that one time ,I saw someone smiling pretending they are okay and everyone laughing with them, but I couldn’t even bring myself to smile, I seemed like a weirdo, I noticed them all glancing at me from the corner of their eyes wondering why I was so stiff, especially the person who was pretending and telling jokes, after an hour or so, I asked them if I could talk to them, I was bluntly honest, I told them: “ hey you shouldn’t force yourself to be happy if you aren’t, it does more harm than good, instead you should use that energy on stuff that really makes you happy, even if just 1%, you should make efforts for yourself , and not waste your energy and efforts on acting to prove others that you are fine.”  And the person busted into tears and it attracted the intention of other people, again, the said person asked me how did I know, how was I able to see through their façade, I said I just know, that’s not the issue here, but I guess they were vexed that someone could see through their mask, once again I was labeled strange. And you who is reading , you must be feeling uncomfortable as well, because the majority of people were. Nobody likes the idea of being transparent, even I , I don’t like it, but I can’t help but notice few things without even trying. And I hate myself for that. Sometimes I like to lie to myself, deceive it and pretend I don’t know, just for the sake of being surprised.

That’s why I love being here, on this app, where I don’t see you and you don’t see me, it’s another barrier I put to challenge myself, I can’t see you, I can’t read your body language, I can’t notice your facial expression when you are sad , or when you are lying to me. When you are in disgust, when you are bored, or when you smile, I only have words !

“ Words! mere words! how terrible they were! how cleαr, αnd vivid, αnd cruel! One could not escαpe frσm them. αnd yet whαt α subtle mαgic there wαs in them… mєrє wσrds! Is there αnything so real αs wσrds?” said an author that I like.

I wonder will you keep me interested and surprise me to the point where I would like to see you, or better, will you be so interested in me to the point where you would like to see me?

Or maybe you are only a visual human enjoying a visual novel eh ?

How interesting ~

'Oh- By the brambleous Winds, thorns and branches, please.  My balance is better than this, how incredibly ridiculous of my feet, what an amusing show of incompetence at mere walking this must be~  They’re looking at me-‘

-some incoherent whispers and sounds chitter with mischievous murmurs-