#wsu2016

The WSU election often turns into a competition about who has the most friends. Rarely do campaigns actually engage the greater student body, meaning the large majority of Waikato students don’t actually elect their representatives. My flatmate is one of those people who literally could not give a single fuck about the WSU. She’s never voted in the election before, despite being a third year student. So naturally, we gave her a copy of the most recent Nexus and asked her to share her thoughts on the election. Because, ya know, this is probably reflective of what the rest of the students think.

Kale Isaac: “Why is Kale teaming up with Shalini???? Why the fuck is he wearing a onesie??? He’s ruining his street cred.”   Kale Isaac is losing the votes of SPLS students by the day. Brad Fulcher: “Vote for Brad. He looks kind of hot. My friends say that he looks like a typical kiwi fella too. Amazing.” Attractiveness: winning elections since 1961. Winara Levi: “Omg I love this guy! He just looks like he’s real approachable. I loved his references to the ocean and peace, and I can connect with that. I don’t know him from a bar of soap, but I can tell he’ll do well in life. He’s deep.” While I found his blurb a bit weird, the generic student clearly loves it.

Patience Ngara: “Who is Patience?? Is that like, a person’s name or something? Weird.” William Morris:  “He looks like he’s going to murder me.”  [that’s really mean] “Maybe he shouldn’t look like a murderer then… Though his blurb is actually quite good.  He says he looks like the guy off the Sons of Anarchy but I don’t like that show so I probably won’t vote for him.”

Brianna Morgan: “Twerking is not cool anymore!!! God, that’s so lame. She’s so lame.” Anthony Rawiri: “He looks so old. How old is he?” Yes, we do actually have mature learners at the university. 

Troy Anderson: “Why is the “Y” in “Troy” a capital?? And why does he spell “four” with a “4”… This isn’t high school.”   She had seen his posters around apparently and has some sort of issue with them. Hana-Te Kowhai Ohia: “Which one’s the girl who puts all of the posters of Channing Tatum on the toilet doors?” This tactic doesn’t seem to quite do the trick.  The candidate’s name is probably the key factor here...

Jordan Smith: “His voting blurb makes like, no sense. What an idiot.”