#writingsofme

Write about this instead. Write about the warm sun hitting your skin after being cold in church. Write about the way you feel after a major belly laugh with your best friend. Write about how your heart feels when it's touched by other emotions. Write about the moments that bring tears to your eyes when you think about them. Write about her reading a book to you on the couch. In all these little moments, there is the very essence of love. Existence and meaning. Just stories, ready to be told. Live there. Let it go.

That moment you hesitate; the one that makes you blink twice and question. What do I feel and can I trust you with this? No, baby, I don't want to look. You are all to yourself. You and I were whole beings before the thought of us was created. I want you to love me because it's what you crave. What you want to do, where you want to expend your time, purpose and energy. I do not wish to control any moment of who you are. I only want to be. What molds we could break, what precedents we could ignore, what beauty we could devise. If only we could just be. Together.

You write as if you're speaking to another. Yet it's you that you want to hear it. Yourself. I think you've always wanted to understand and interpret the things you've never understood within your heart. You've always been so good to others. Maybe it's time you did it for you instead. Maybe it's time you let yourself stand up after being on your knees in defeat all these years. Through silence, through violent words, through abuse, through crying and belittling. Stand up, girl. Stand up and fight.

I feel at home, but on an entirely different planet with you. How do you make me feel everything, then nothing? My heart is at a crossroads. She doesn't understand, but yet, she moves with confidence. She knows the way. When did she figure it out and why did it take so long? Did she need you to puppet the strings? I have a feeling that it's been within her all along. She just needed your ear to hear her music. To be heard through all the aching noise. Let's write our symphony, my darling.

You never read my mind. I don't even know who you are. A stranger I've met a million times. Yet, your face gets more blurry every day. You fade along with time. Can I remake you when you've finally disappeared? You'll be brand new within these walls. A new spirit will play your parts. My movie never changes, yet, you are different every time it plays. But I'll never stop watching.