So this was an assignment from my writing class that I thought you guys would get a kick out of. It's a little homage to Mom and her love of roses that most people don't know was really a love of Pink Camellia's.
Dialogue with a Bouquet of Roses from my Garden
Me: Gee you came out pretty.
Roses: Of course I did.
Me: You don’t have to be so conceited about it.
Roses: I’m a plant I don’t know what that means.
Me: You’re a plant but you know how to be sarcastic?
Roses: I don’t know what that means either.
Me: I don’t believe this, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Roses: No I don’t. Up until today, no one has ever talked to me like this. In fact, why ARE you talking to me like this?
Me: Now you’re just toying with me.
Roses: I don’t know what that means either.
Me: Aw, forget it. But, gee, you really did turn out pretty.
Roses: Aw, thank you.
Me: (eye roll) now you say thank you.
Roses: NOW who’s being sarcastic?
Me: (straight face)
Roses: Let’s move on… Why do you think I’m so pretty?
Me: For many reasons really, first, I arranged you in a nose gay. It’s my favorite arrangement.
Roses: Why is it your favorite?
Me: Well, I love color, and I love flowers, so it gives me the most of what I love about flowers, more of you I suppose.
Roses: You know or you suppose? Which is it?
Me: You’re doing it again.
Roses: Sorry.
Me: I’ll let that pass.
Roses: What else? Continue…
Me: Also you remind me of my mother. I miss her and you help me remember her fondly.
Roses: Does she live far away?
Me: No. She’s no longer with us.
Roses: Oh, she moved out?
Me: No! She passed on.
Roses: Oh, I see, like she passed, on moving in with you, and moved into her own place?
Me: NO! She’s taking the great dirt nap!
Roses: Well I take a dirt nap every day, it’s really quite lovely…
Me: NO! NO! (face in palm) She’s dead OK? My mom is dead! Her favorite flower was a rose. A BEAUTIFUL, PINK ROSE. Although YOU’RE not looking so beautiful to me right now.
Roses: I remind you of your dead mother? Pardon me but I don’t feel very flattered by this.
Me: Ya know what? Forget I said anything. In fact, I don’t even think it was roses that my mom liked, it was pink camellias, that’s it! Pastel pink camellias!
Roses: Aww, now don’t be like that.
Me: No, she only liked roses because they were more COMMON.
Roses: HEY! There’s no need to get insulting.
Me: How could you know what an insult is? You didn’t even know what sarcasm was a few minutes ago.
Roses: I’m a fast learner. Have you seen how fast I grow a bud?
Me: You’ve got a point.
Roses: Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot, can’t we just be friends?
Me: Only if you apologize.
Roses: I will…. Just as soon as I learn what that is…
Me: Here we go again…
