His heart slammed against his ribcage, feeling he'd not felt for years. Thirty-two. Today he turned thirty-two years old, and the last time he'd felt his heart trying to remove itself was when he had been sixteen. His first kill. The first time he'd had a gun in his hands. The first time he'd even faced down with someone bigger, scarier, and tougher than him.
The first time he'd won.
His eyes darted around the place. It was fit to be a theater, but it hadn't seen a show in a long time. He doubted it ever would again. Not after today. He landed on a man across the stage, a brief flicker in his own eyes exchanged with the other was signal enough. His gaze returned to the man bound to the chair, flickered towards the don, then back to the man again.
Vincenzo di Angelo didn't like to be cornered.
Anyone who had ever had some sort of run-in would know that much. Cornering him was the last thing you'd ever do. Those who had survived were only survivors out of sheer luck. Vinnie wasn't merciful. He'd never been and he never would be.
The Don had cornered him.
A choice. Vinnie kills Sal or the Don kills them both. He was given a choice. The sharpshooter didn't like either. There were always third options.
One door closes, you force it right back open.
@orionion07
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Taking a brief moment from diving into more incredible writing on this app to just vent my frustrations that there are some styles of writing I just... wish I could do. I wish I could sum up as much in so few words as other people can. My fiancee, for one, is amazing at this and while I'm compelled to go on at what feels like extreme detail, there are moments where I just wish I could make these seeming seamless time-jumps and still leave people feeling satisfied.
Someone can cover a month's worth of things in a few shorts pages and leave me feeling like I've missed nothing; like it's all there, like it all just... flows. I write a bathtub conversation for three full chapters.
I know it's fine, but I just wholly empathize with the people out there who have amazing art that I stare at in wonder and awe who will voice to my face 'god I wish I could do what <another artist> does'.
We are the same. I am holding your hand in solidarity. I wish I could do what you all do.
ALSO
In hopefully just a matter of hours, our long national nightmare my terrible fucking insanity of moving should finally be entering the "IT'S FUCKING OVER" stage, leaving me the unpacking stages before the "Great American Roadtrip" stage and then more unpacking stages and then "That Marriage Thing" stage and then--
What I'm saying is chapters are coming. I'm actually really excited about it. It's been half a fucking year since The Stranding updated but I HAVE made a little bit of progress through all of this and I can't wait for y'all to see it.
blahblahblah, thank you for reading <3 Love you all and Happy Easter
Iāve been thinking about that bingo card I filled out. Recently, Iāve been in a process of trying to look at the things I struggle with and, rather than give in to all the unhelpful, shaming āIt shouldnāt be that hardā andĀ ājust DO itā that gets tossed around in my head, actually go:Ā
Okay, so. It IS hard. What can I try that might make it EASIER?
And Iāve been thinking about that bingo card I filled out, and how... hopeless? helpless? it feels to stare down all those checkmarks on all the things that trip me up. That didnāt feel too great, so, I thought I would sit down and really examine those things and see what the barriers are and what kinds of things I could experiment with to get over/around/under/through them.Ā
This is going to be kind of a rambly self-meditation, so, cut goes here.Ā
With thanks to @ao3commentoftheday for putting the bingo card together and @ffxiv-writers for putting it on my dash.
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Itās an emotion not a plot
I didnāt write it YET
Couldnāt think of a beginning
Got distracted by a new WIP
Too much happening IRL
Fell asleep
The stars havenāt aligned
Fell into a research hole
Couldnāt think of an ending
Hit too close to home
Lost the idea because I didnāt write it down
Got stuck and canāt get past it
Forgot I was writing it
The first thing Iām noticing as I look at this list is that some of them have to do with the content of the writing itself, and some have to do with external factors. There may be other ways to divide this list up, but thatās what Iām seeing first, so letās see where that gets me.
Content Problems
(aka, I actually started writing the fucking thing but itās fighting me)
Itās an emotion not a plot
Couldnāt think of a beginning
Couldnāt think of an ending
Got stuck and canāt get past it
So, in descending order of troublesomeness/frequency, these are all things where I have an idea of something I want to write, but Iām snagging on something around developingĀ the idea. Iāll sit down to write, but when I try starting, what comes out is boring as hell -- I tend to getĀ āexplainyā (related toĀ ātelling rather than showingā). Or, thereās a clear start, but where is it going? what am I trying to say? Or, some inconsistency in the middle makes getting from A to B difficult.Ā
How have I managed to get around these content-related things in the past? What could I try if I get stuck again?
Complain about it until I rubberduck myself into a solution
Outline-brainstorming (ideally with someone else)
Skip past the boring stuff and start with the fun stuffĀ
Do I have enough characters in the thing for this to be an interaction?
If this is aĀ ācharacter by themselvesā scene -- can I insert some apostrophe? an imaginary dialogue?Ā
Whatās the conflict/problem/point of tension? (even in fluffy scenes there is one -- thatās the payoff)
Start in the middle of the dialogue
Where do I want to end up? (positive/negative mood? location? circumstance?)
Where did I start (emotionally, circumstantially) -- whatās theĀ āoppositeā of that? (ensures movement over the scene)
Letting it be (but coming back to it)Ā
Scrapping the whole thing (but saving it to be cannibalized later)
...but sometimes I need to just let it go and take the EXP consolation prize rather than getting stuck on it. Not everything willĀ ājell,ā but itās all grist for the mill.
But what gets in my way more often than not is...
External Factors
...which can further be divided into problems starting...
Too much happening IRL
Fell asleep
Lost the idea because I didnāt write it down
The stars havenāt aligned
Hit too close to homeĀ
I didnāt write it YET
...andĀ problems finishing.
Fell into a research hole
Got distracted by a new WIP
Forgot I was writing it
Now that I look at them, most of these have to do (for me) with either attention/motivationĀ or energy.Ā
The biggest barrier for me is energy -- I call itĀ āwriting brain,ā and itās like a meter that is depleted by all kinds of things, including how much Iāve had to use my ability to focus on a given day, whether Iāve gotten enough sleep, if Iām in physical discomfort, how much stress Iām under, etc.
...speaking of energy. I just ran flat out of ability to focus on this post, so Iām going to post what Iāve got on top of my head so far.
Hereās the vague toss-out on the energy/attention/motivation thing:
BE GENTLE WITH MYSELF.
Give myself structure and opportunities to succeed (Iāve had great luck with a sticker chart)
Give myself credit for EVERYTHING I do, including partial credit.Ā
Write ANYTHING. It counts!
Figure out whatĀ āthe stars aligningā looks like (for me: music, a deadline, several prompts to constrain possibilities)
...all fit for my own practice of writing, which is just to write at allĀ -- Iām not working on a larger project or to a deadline.Ā
And sometimes it still doesnāt work. But shame takes up writing brain. So... maybe thatās not the best way for me to spend my energy?
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Life hack: if you break up with a writer, don't read what they post, ever again. We can be pretty harsh, and you'll never even know if we are actually talking about you.
