#writer panic

Pls Z continue ⚆ᴥ⚆

Patience. Working on it 🙈

that said, the one I really want to throw at the greyspace is... well complicated. Do I post as I wrote it, with the long intro that sets things up or... And the themes in some of this is a bit.. well it could def be called triggery. I'm so out of the loop. is anyone even activly sharing falllout fanfic anymore? Not that it matters honestly but still. I hate this wishy-washy me. It's been too long since I've shared my writing in any capacity. then there's the whole... I gotta finish the damn thing too... ANYWAYS... *goes back to tidying up a not as messy as I thought WIP*

...that moment when you have a reasonable idea of how long a story is going to be based on the outline/past experience/your inability to write anything less than 100K words, and this one will be almost 2x that due to character complexity and the story structure you're exploring, and you also know your general output of words and how often that output can occur, so the math for how long it will take you to finish the story is pretty straightforward...

...and you realize you'll be writing this beast for another seven months. And part of you wants to roll around in happiness because OMG STORY FEELS SO GOOD AND IS SO DARK AND SEXY AND MMMM CHARACTER JOY and the other part of you looks at the long queue of creatures waiting to get written, and then you start calculating how long you have left to live, given a certain set of parameters and barring critical system failures, and you realize you need to cut out some major time sinks in order for this to all work, like sleeping, eating, and going to the bathroom...

...but your health journey dictates that you can no longer do that, as it's Bad For You, so, okay, you'll just have to flex the space/time continuum in order to bend reality and make additional pockets of time and hope you don't cause some kind of storyline event horizon that sucks down the entire planet or opens a hell gate or perhaps resets the universe to zero...

...but THEN you realize that if you DO that in the quest to make more stories, then that'd be an awfully good story for somebody (not you; you'll be squished flat by the terrible, infinite weight of dark matter, space, and time compression and/or eaten by demons and/or be too busy RULING the demons that your writing pursuits just need to go on hold for a little while for the sake of your new career, and KAREN, THAT DOES NOT ACTUALLY MAKE ME A FAILURE AS I WILL BE THE QUEEN OF THE MOTHERFUCKING DAMNED AND PLEASE STOP TRYING TO PUT ME IN A BOX AND NOT EVERYTHING IS MEANT TO BE FOREVER EXCEPT FOR POSSIBLY THIS NEW HELL DIMENSION THING THAT IS POTENTIALLY HAPPENING), once, you know, we develop out of primordial sludge and get those opposable thumbs happening again, and it won't MATTER that you can't finish all your stories because somebody else will... ...which just speaks to the continual wheel that is time and purpose and destiny and there's always another life around the corner and you won't KNOW you missed out on writing stories as it's a soul purpose, not a life purpose, and there will be new ones to tell in THAT life and in THAT existence, so, honestly, just do your best with the fucking word count, Dee, and maybe go have a goddamned cookie or some fruit or something because all of this spiraling over math computation is likely because you forgot to eat again, AS YOU DO, which is WHY WE ARE IN THERAPY.

*huff... puff... gasp... wheeze*

Okay. So, um. Yeah. Gonna go... get a snack. And, um... I'll be done with this story in July.

Cool.

I had a dream last night and it sparked a great idea for a Loki x Reader and I could make it a series but I have a lot of momentum with my original pirate WIP and I don’t wanna lose that but I also don’t wanna lose the inspiration for this?!?!?!