#worryingly's world

To everyone reading Practical Alchemy, the fic is finished, it’s just not edited yet, and I very often don’t have the spoons to do that at the moment. The aim is to have the final 5 chapters up before Christmas, but we’ll see.

For example, prior to lockdown, I would never wear trainers or leggings outside of the house unless I was going for a run. I also generally wouldn’t leave the house without at least concealer, even if not a full face of make-up. My lightweight foldaway waterproof jacket stayed at home in favour of an umbrella. 

Now I go out in my trainers all the time because they’re more comfortable. My waterproof is more practical than an umbrella when carrying several bags of groceries. No one can see my acne anyway because I’m always covering the lower half of my face where my worst outbreaks are, so what’s the point in make-up? If I’m going out in the rain I wear leggings rather than jeans which will drag in the puddles and make me cold and soggy. 

There are three HUGE problems associated with this.

1) I have 0 hand-eye-foot co-ordination. I may have learned ballroom for a year but I was not very good at it. In fact I was very bad at it. I pity my poor partners. My feet will not move in the directions they are supposed to.

2) I only remember the steps to the cha-cha, the rumba, half of the jive and occasionally the waltz.

I actually wrote some rumbelle fic last night! I’m feeling pretty happy this morning. 

Today is my first day of working from home for the foreseeable future, so in an effort to keep normality, I got up at normal time and did my normal pre-work routine, got dressed in nice work clothes and did my hair properly in a bun instead of just sitting around in yoga pants and a hoodie with my hair all over the place like I normally do when I work from home for the odd day. 

(Only thing I didn’t do that I normally do when I go to the office is eye make-up.)

Also attempted to make my workspace slightly more ergonomic. I’ll have enough time to perfect it over the coming weeks but I’m pretty pleased with the set up so far. 

My only problems will be: 1) getting enough exercise since I’m no longer walking 40 minutes a day as part of my commute and 2) remembering to stay hydrated, which I am notoriously bad at when I am not in the office. 

I’ve not dared to go out to the supermarkets since the UK’s social distancing advice was released on Monday evening, but those who have been say it’s like a zombie apocalypse in there. I’m torn because I need to go and get supplies, but at the same time walking into an empty supermarket will likely trigger my anxiety again. 

Just need to take deep breaths and remember that there is enough food, it’s just that people are buying it faster than it can get on the shelves...

My mum sent me an Easter care package of sweets since I won’t be able to go home to my parents’ house for Easter as planned this year. 

I am now going to have to try very very hard not to eat all the Malteser Mini-Bunnies in one sitting. 

As you may know from some of my previous posts over the last couple of weeks...

I’m a mess. 

My mental health is Very Not Good at the moment. 

My anxiety is at absolutely sky-high levels (I’ve had two anxiety attacks in the last 24 hours. Or maybe it was just the same one lasting a long time...)

I am incredibly stressed as a result.

And when I get like this, I can’t write. I mean, you know I can’t write at the moment, you’ve seen my WIP Wednesday posts for the last month or so. 

Anyway, I need to take a break from writing, officially. Everything is going on hiatus for a while. 

I am going to keep doing @a-monthly-rumbelling admin, and I am going to try and write my own AMR fics for this month, but they’re about all I can concentrate on. 

Sorry to everyone who is patiently waiting on updates for Dead Man Walking, Out of Time, and Real Housewives. My brain is just not in a good place right now and it’s taking all my energy just to keep it together and get through the day as a vaguely functional human being.