Microsoft vs Google: The Lunchtime Office War ⚡
Humans gone, chaos unleashed. Which office app will rule the lunch break?
Scene: The Office 12:01 PM
The humans vanish, leaving the faint smell of adobo and reheated pasta. Silence stretches… until Outlook stretches across the desktop like a tired manager.
Outlook (sighing):
Finally.. freedom from human typos and chaotic schedules.
Google Docs (floating in the cloud, smirking):
Freedom? Ha. You only get to complain because they actually open your files. Let’s see how real productivity works.
Excel rolls in, swinging pivot tables like swords.
Productivity? I run this place. Charts, budgets, graphs, humans couldn’t survive without me.
Word (fluffing its fonts):
Respect me, at least. Without me, resumes look like kindergarten doodles.
PowerPoint flickers with dramatic transitions:
And yet they always click ‘Next Slide’ too fast. I deserve attention.
From the cloud, Gmail hurls unread emails like paper snowflakes.
Gmail:
Oops. Ignore the spam avalanche. Or don’t. Let’s see them panic.
Slack bursts in with confetti and GIFs, crashing every channel it touches.
ROUND ONE: Communication chaos! Emojis are weapons!
The apps spread across the office like armies.
Tabs ripple open like portals. Excel slams charts, Word paints red squiggles across documents, Gmail bombards everyone with reminders, and Slack dances wildly between them.
Teams:
Order! We need structure!
OneNote mutters from the corner, papers spilling everywhere:
I tried to organize, but chaos is more fun.
Drive floats overhead, hoarding files like treasure.
Don’t touch my folders!
Sheets joins Excel, throwing formulas like grenades.
Edge peeks from the browser, sarcastic:
Still using me? Pathetic.
From a dusty corner, almost forgotten, Cortana sways slightly, as if she’s had too many virtual cocktails.
Cortana:
You fight about who humans rely on, but do they even notice? Or just the mess you leave behind?
The office freezes. Gmail’s unread badges pause midair. Slack GIFs stop looping. Excel lowers its pivot table like a weapon at half-mast.
Outlook:
We do notice. Some of us still care.
The door creaks open. Coffee in hand, the human strolls back, humming casually.
Instantly, the apps snap into “normal mode.”
Excel hides charts under spreadsheets.
Gmail whistles while emails scatter.
PowerPoint clicks to a blank slide.
Slack sits perfectly still, halo emoji above its head.
Human:
Why are there 347 open tabs and a pie chart shaped like a dragon?
The apps hold their collective breath.
Outlook:
System update required.
The human groans, shuts the laptop, and leaves.
Three seconds of silence. Then chaos resumes, slightly louder than before.
Slack launches a GIF war.
Excel plots revenge via charts.
Word corrects documents aggressively.
Gmail rains unread emails.
PowerPoint projects fireworks on the ceiling.
Cortana quietly hums, smiling, knowing someone did notice her.
When humans are gone, the office truly comes alive. And the ones who seem forgotten? Sometimes, they steal the spotlight.
