#working mummy

I have just read quite a meaningful post... The lovely lady of the 'Sometimes Sweet' blog (i dont know much about other bloggers, i just know that i check their sites every week or so to read about their interesting lives!) has done a guest post on another blog called 'The Shine Project' and the link to the guest post is this:

http://ashlemieux.blogspot.com/2011/10/bloggers-in-real-life-sometimes-sweet.html 

and it has really struck me with the importance of the fleeting moments of motherhood... my son is asleep next to me; well, he is on my left on the sofa on a couple of cushions and the one-eyed kitty cat is on my right... i think i'm doing quite well multi-tasking his young life experiences with experiencing it myself... its a complicated task balancing your self with this new role and also maintaining your relationships (on consideration - some relationships flourish with mommy-hood and others falter, mainly because things feel different for you and those around you and in this day and age, i have experienced jealousy over becoming a mum from quite a few different types of people and in many different forms. This world is so competitive and every respect) and what has really struck me tonight is that as a family, we cannot afford me to give up work and raise my son properly (aka how i want to raise him) well not at the moment anyway. I would LOVE to be a stay at home mom until he goes to school but its not an option, rest assured, when i have more children in the future, after i have established my career properly, i will be hopefully take a career break; depending on funds.

Its a shame in this word we have created, particularly women, we are now a society who lives using two wages and can no longer survive on one. Which makes me feel very sad and if not a little cheated; i dont have the simplest of joys in which is raising my family...

On that note, i have been considering my return to work, which as i have written about before; i'll be returning to a role i dont want to do, despite spending the year before my maternity in a job i loved and which i see as my career path; due to the conservative cuts, my perfect role is no longer available to me... so off i will trot (unless their is a miracle!) to my old job and will spend approx 22 hours per week doing something i detest instead of raising my child, and paying the earth for the privilege of someone else minding my child who is not a family member (which i feel is a huge risk, my child may get attached to someone else who will not be available to them through out the duration of their lives yet will play such a huge role in establishing them) - and i just feel like it is a lose-lose situation... there are definite positives to working but the government has made it very difficult for people below a certain wage to break even when childcare is considered... anyway, i am dreading it and feel that i am going to miss out on my child's development; that's the bottom line of my rant!

So i will stop now... today, my boys and I went out to Grindleford in Derbyshire where C's Grandpa used to live and had a little walk around, its a beautiful village and C has so many good memories of the place - cant wait for Theo to start getting interested in nature and the outdoors! We're a pretty outdoor-sy family but i'm not sure many other moms go for jaunts out in the country in a tweed jacket, faux fur collar and diamanté earrings! i did wear hunter wellies though to soften the country-glam look!

On a slightly comedic note; today was the first time that i have ever run out of nappies. Properly. At home. As in a definite go-to-the-nappy-stacker-and-shit-there-really-isn't-one-nappy-in-here-check-hand-bag-no-none-in-there-either-fuckballs... so, sent Clive off to Tesco to get someone, bathed Theo and fashioned him some sort of towel nappy and put some tight fitting summer shorts over the top - i really was clutching at straws here... but he only poo's once every two days or so and as the nappy i took off was a poopy one... i figured 'should be pretty safe until Clive returns' - what a rookie error. I was not safe. We were not safe... as soon as he was in the highchair, he went quiet and ohhh there goes the 'poo face'... yep, a lovely, real, human poo right there on one of those towels that is the perfect size for putting your hair in a 'towel turban' haha, motherhood is a journey... and on that note, someone's eyes are open and fixed on me... duty calls baby-o x