#work poops

This site makes my work poops just so much better than they already were.

pro tip: 911 is not the "i don't know the local police's phone number" line pro tip #2: if your first words to me on 911 are "it's not really an emergency" i already hate you.

A woman just called and said she locked her keys in her car and asked if we could open it for her. I asked if there was anyone locked inside. She said no. I told, in that case, she would have to call a tow company to unlock her door. And that's the point where she suddenly turned nasty asking me if I was serious, saying that she works at the coffee shop across town and that she makes our coffee every morning and we seriously couldn't do her one favor? Like, lady, idk what to tell you. We only do emergencies because we don't carry the tools to unlock your car. That's not our job, that's what locksmiths and tow companies do. The only tool we have to unlock your car is the one that smashes the window open. But hey, if you like, I can send the area car by to smash your window open so you can get your keys. (⊙ヮ⊙)

i love how entitled the people in this town are. this woman left a one star review on the department facebook page. she reported her neighbors were having a loud party in the early morning. she called an hour later because no one had come by and was told by the same dispatcher that the officers were dealing with more serious emergencies. she was upset because "you're telling me you don't have one officer to check up on me?" i was the dispatcher. and yeah, i did tell her that. you know why? because you have a noise complaint at 6 am. we run with 6 officers and from 6 am, they were all tied up with a ten person fight in a hotel lobby, a b&e to a store, and a potential house fire back-to-back until the end of our shift at 8:30. when i say we're busy with "more serious emergencies" i mean it. it's not to blow you off. it's because they're EMERGENCIES. so no, we don't have one officer. your call is not a priority. the noise ordinance ends at 7 am and it would've been too late to send someone by that point even if i had someone to send. but by all means, if you think your neighbors having a loud party is more important than people jumping over the front desk to punch the clerk in the face, you go ahead and leave that nasty review. entitled. piece. of. shit.

*watches an officer fly like a bat out of hell from the lot, blaring aerosmith from his cruiser* i love these idiots

some nights you get 911 calls for homicides or domestics or people having heart attacks and other nights you get 911 calls for someone who got their dick bitten by their dog