#wordsy

Obviously we can start the origins of these right at the beginning - perceived to have been abandoned by both his mother and his father, left to one of his uncles to raise him. An uncle whom, it's fairly clear, isn't so interested in raising him properly even if there are some sentimental attachments.

Why does Eamon agree to raise him and then spend a decade demonstrating that the boy is all but worthless to everybody? Who knows. A Cinderella tale without the manual labor but including the (evil) stepmother who wants to see that he receives basically nothing that she perceives should be for herself and hers, including the attention of her husband.

That's how he ends up sleeping with dogs, that's how he ends up joining the Chantry in search of finding literally that might help him feel as though he has purpose or meaning. But of course the Chantry isn't interested in raising star templars, they're interested in raising obedient ones. So of course the moment Alistair arrives with his defense mechanisms (built from the destruction of his esteem and worth in childhood), they're dismissed and he along with them. He disappears into the Templar training, doing everything he can to keep himself afloat in a system that's designed to encourage even himself to abandon his own habits and quirks and thus, himself.

A miracle, then, that is wasn't lost to this.

Which may be attributed to Duncan, who comes around to reclaim the boy he promised Fiona he would watch after. An unknown proof that he hadn't been abandoned but that Alistair will never learn about himself. His view of Duncan is more of a miracle situation, that anybody might show up without designs or plans for himself that he might be worthy of the attention on his own. So he joins the Grey Wardens - gratefully, with enthusiasm, looking past some of the horrors simply to feel like he belongs somewhere. And everything is good. For a year.

Now the next part is of course not the fault of anybody except the Darkspawn (and Loghain, though he can't be faulted for Alistair's direct sense of abandonment), but Alistair is once again left alone - Duncan is lost to him, and in a terrible twist of fate his own half brother who can't even address the lineage and unconsciously (or consciously, for important reasons) keeps his own distance from Alistair.

He's left with a stranger, which is fine, he's decent at making friends when he's not limited by discipline or more abandonment, but also a complete sense of loneliness. He's sent away from his rescuer (terrified as he may be of her), and they're now stuck just the three of them on their own. Not even the other Grey Wardens are interested in picking them up, nor other nations coming to their aide.

This isn't necessarily abandonment here. But then it starts to get complicated. Because by the end of the Fifth Blight, we'll lose all those but maybe one or two of the companions who joined them in the first place. Everybody will be going their own way after the archdemon is defeated and Alistair knows this, even as he decides to take the throne, or stay a Warden, or flee alone. Made worse of course by possible decisions.

I won't go into detail, but a betrayal by the Hero at this point hits particularly sharply. Because this was his last true friend, wasn't it? (Or at least his longest travelling companion.) Even if they stay friends the likelihood of them staying is slim, but to be actively betrayed, actively pushed away -

It's a breaking point.

And the point after which - friendly or married or enemy - Alistair is on his own. Teagan may remain, but only out of obligation, a need to see his nephew survive and not cause permanent damage. Eamon may stick around, but only to take advantage of the results of his own meddling. And the Hero, even if she marries him, eventually disappears on her own for important Warden business.