#wordgameisweakpersonal

You are a habit. I wish there was an appropriate word to describe what kind of habit you are. I wouldn’t say bad because you were so good to me. I wouldn’t say good because you were terrible to me at times. There is an infinite number of words to describe what kind of habit you are, just can’t think of one that’s good enough for you.

I won’t ever forget the day that we started to talk. Do I remember what I was wearing? Or if I decided to brush my teeth that night? Not at all. But I remember our conversations over the next few days. Then it turned into weeks of hearing from you once a week. And boom, something changed. Something happened. I wish I knew what it was. Because I would bring that back. I would say those words again to make you stay. We started to talk every single day. There aren’t many days that I can remember where we didn’t communicate.

With that, you grew on me. You were there. You were easy. It was easy. If I could describe us in one word, it would be easy. You live far away, yet you are so close to me. You know me better than I know myself. You can predict my behavior and how I am going to react to something. It’s really odd. We hadn’t met yet but I could start a story and you could finish it for me.

You turned into my best friend. I was telling you everything then I wanted to know all about you. Our conversations went from an hour or two here or there to the entire day. I regret letting that happen.

The conversation became weak, meaningless. We were forcing conversation because we were finally going to meet. When the conversation became extremely dissatisfying, I knew my trip up there was going to be a sort of “good bye.” Now I’m home. And I don’t ever want to say good bye to you, I think it needs to be done for now.

Nine o'clock came around this morning and I didn’t hear from you. I was sad, but I realized that I need to stop worrying about it. We will have our time. We will be friends again. We will have our meaningful conversations. Just not now.