#wonderdouche

Here’s a brief description of all of my notable relationships and the hashtags associated with them:

1. #wonderdouche - First love, dated on-and-off throughout high school. He became possessive, I became obsessive. After 3 years I called it quits.

2. #hobbit - Rebound from wonderdouche. Slept with him freshman year of college. I got feelings, he didn’t. Continued to booty call me throughout college, to no avail (well except that one time junior year..)

3. #cowgirl - Girl I met on the internet. She rode horses. We broke up because she wanted me to come out and I didn’t. The relationship lasted 2 months.

4. #bestfriend - My best friend who I was in love with for 2 years. We slept together, but never dated. Our friendship was terminated after he molested me in my sleep.

5. #girl - Girl I crushed really hard on. Wanted to date her, but it never worked out. We made out a few times though. Still think she’s super cute.

6. #pretty boy - Cute boy I met in college. Long-term fuck buddy turned boyfriend. Major douche. He broke up with me because we had nothing in common. I took it really hard.

7. #country boy- Sweet southern boy. We liked each other and kissed a bunch. He lived far away, so my feelings petered out. We never dated. Still good friends.

8. #batman - Cute boy who was basically the male version of me. His friends called him Batman. We could have dated, but I chose to date pretty boy instead. Mistake.