#wolfsilver

picture a drunk person, blindfolded and stressed trying to hit a piñata

I am afraid that I am too much of a politician to judge what people are going to consider an interesting case to be taken to the court. In my experience, people want to hear how we put, like, a duck on trial for a treason. Yes, we did that. Duck was found guilty and was sentenced to the gallows. It had to be weighted with stones, because ducks are too lightweight to hang by neck on a rope otherwise. That's a boring case to me.

Do you know what's an interesting and important case? The Cressos' case! They have been married for six years and then demanded a divorce. The priest found no fault in their marriage and refused to carry it out. So they took it to the court.

So what happened between the Cressos? The marriage was legitimate - they both consented, were aware of each other's health, the priestess had the legal capability to do ordain them and did soaccording to the customs. Faulina Cresso was not infertile, nor was she unfaithful. Agustus Cresso was neither infertile nor did he commit adultery. Witnesses from family and neighbors both testified that the spouses were amicable towards each other - no case of domestic violence or money-cheating. Why would they divorce?

Well, when the judge finally bothered to ask them, the pair said they no longer wanted to live with each other. That is their entire reason.

The highest alcohol tolerance is evenly split between me and Titanborn, who is twice to thrice my weight (depends on if i had eaten and if i am wearing armor).

Titanborn, when drunk, is a touch louder, a touch harsher, and a great deal more irritable. Not exactly a person to sit right next to.

Sai Sahan almost never drank alcohol when I was around to see. When he did, he was prone to losing clothes (unfortunate for a man who doesn't wear shirts to start with) and soliloquize.

Varen remains to be a snuggly and cute drunk, though back then he was significantly less melancholic. Kind of like an affectionate cat.

Mannimarco... when he indulged deeper into the cups, he really wanted to talk to someone about practically applied necromancy. That usually left me as his conversation partner, because I did not find it too unsettling and I could keep up with his logic for most of the time. The general consensus was that we weren't letting him drink beyond the point of him getting handsy and a little prankstery.

The Vestige had this peculiar trait of loosing coordination very quickly and when particularly inebriated it turned into changing colors like some of those lizards in Black Marsh.

Cadwell could drink and it never showed on him until he toppled over unconscious.

It's seen as a common courtesy to leave behind some dort of information about the relic you've taken: What it was, how you found it, vague outline of your plans with it, where to find you in case the person who came here next needs to contact you about it. Write in standard Cyrodillic, or if you have a brush and the time and will, in Daedric alphabet if you feel it is appropriate.

If the artifact is obviously cursed, it's nice to leave behind some blood splatters as a warning. It does not have to be your blood. If you are raiding into a Dwemer ruin, flip the switches and turn the valves back the way they were on your way out. You don't want that hot steam that was spewing into the corridor to build up somewhere deeper beneath in a boiler and blow the place up.

When it comes to handling the looted found relics, it's mostly case-by-case custom approach. I like to wash what I've found first, cold water, a bit of distilled alcohol to disinfect it. Not advisable for some crystals and most fine Dwemer machinery, though. Cleaning is a good step, though, it let's you see the details beneath the grime, and significantly lowers your chance of contracting some nasty disease when you cut yourself on it.

(Not so fun story, shortly I was estabilished as the Imperial Battlemage, the Guardians of the Vault brought to me a cursed crescent, the foul hex on it had already killed three of them in a a rather ugly and painful manner. After we cleansed it of rust, I gave the remaining five a very long talk about tetanus prevention and since then the only other curse that befell the Battlespire was from a werebat. The curse was rabies.)

As a rule of thumb, do not eat your artifact. Don't put it in your mouth either. If it is a drinking vessel, don't drink from it. If it is a cooking utensil or a piece fo silverware, contact a Daedric expert (an actual expert, not just self-proclaimed); almost all of us know the Haskill This Is An Emergecy message spell.

As for the artifacts and relics out family has obtained over the course of the years vast majority of them has been... Well, I suppose the polite term would be "repossessed". Not that long after the Soulburst I was netly shooed off the main stage and my less sensible relatives and progeny managed to missplace a lot of the family's posession.

Still, what remains and is of note

A set of daedric crescents. Honestly, I am still dumbstruck as to why Mannimarco let me keep them on my person during my stay in the Castle of the Worm. The staff is unparalleled. I've managed to fit it with a new handle, since the last one just shattered in my face a couple of years ago, and by the Eight, how did I manage to go without it for so long?

The Spoon of Repulsion. From Sheogorath's domain, I don't know if he already had it or if I am that special, but it was entrusted to my care to propel bad anons out of this blog's very inbox at high velocity. Not much goot as an actuall spoon, since it throws your meal across the room and through the wall.

A couple of Azura's crystals. Some of them are full, and I forgot with hwom and I am not eager to find out.

A blood-drinking longsword that melts with the wielder's flash if used for long enough. Probably the artifact that's been in our posession for the longest... and one that's seen the least use.

Mallion-Canae, a ring made of petrified flame. Not sure what it's good for besides as a pocket warmer.

Three sets of armor made of dragon bone. I am not sure if it counts as an artifact, since they are extremely new. Apparently the Rimmen Armory is running out of space, and since I caused it in the first place...

Two Tablets of Silk, the devices that allow access to the internet.

The Fang of Barbas, which to my knowledge does not actually come from Barbas, and while held it does not allow you to speak a lie. Less helpful than it sounds. Banned from the courts of Cyrodill.

I respect people that don't want to be spoiled.

As for me:

Most unique, although not the most intersting or intricate was through poisoned bathwater. The slow-acting poison was absorbed through the skin, and the woman was found dead in the morning in her bed.

If being a tsundere is their main quality they suck, like most stereotypes.