#wolfscythe

You love her, it’s over.

Ayca takes Synn’s hand and brings it to his lips, kissing her knuckles chastely. She looks up at him, her troubled face melting into something of affection and faux annoyance. Ayca says something to her and she says something back, but it’s mostly inaudible from where Imperial was standing. He turns away.

He doesn’t want to hear what Synn said to make him laugh, he doesn’t want to see him melt beneath her touch, he doesn’t want to even think about the amount of times he’s kissed her (He thinks about the amount of times he’s kissed Him all the time. Imperial doesn’t want to think about how much he thinks about that either).

Imperial’s head snaps up as Ayca walks away from her and towards him. He zhuzhes the hem of his shirt a bit as he walks up. There’s a soft smile on his lips and pure endearment in his eyes, big and warm with affection.

Imperial knows it’s not for him. He won’t pretend it is. It still makes his heart skip a beat, though.

Ayca’s neck is twisted back to watch Synn walk away. He’s so smitten it’s almost impossible to watch without getting nauseous.

Imperial doesn’t do anything to interrupt Ayca. He just waits for him to realize that he’s waiting for him to speak.

Synnove FINALLY vanishes from view and now Ayca diverts his attention from his first priority to his second (from his second choice to his first, Imperial thinks darkly). He has the courtesy to look embarrassed about it, at least. His hand slides down from the back of his neck down to his side. Imperial lets himself stare.

“Sorry, I know she can handle herself, just, y’know, I don’t want her to get hurt,”

Imperial hums noncommittally, biting his lip uselessly. It’s the most he can do without scowling.

Ayca’s lips twitch a bit nervously.

Shit. Imperial’s probably making a scary face right now. He clears his throat and attempts a neutral look (before, Ayca’s confessed that he gets a little scared of him when he’s upset. Imperial relished in it before. He doesn’t now).

Imperial taps his forearm with his index finger, keeping his arms crossed tight against his chest.

“She wouldn’t like hearing that,” Ayca brushes his hair aside, breathing out in relief (it burns him to know how much he affects Ayca. Does it burn him to know how much he affects Imperial?)

“Well, yeah, ‘s why I didn’t tell her. I just wished her luck and told her to not do anything I wouldn’t do,”

There’s a glint of mischief that sparks behind his eyes that always manages to seize Imperial’s attention.

It makes him sick that he’s not the reason for it now.

Despite himself, he raises an eyebrow and quips,

“Nothing you wouldn’t do? I didn’t think that there was anything you wouldn’t do,”

Ayca smiles and shrugs, a laugh on his lips.

“Well, yeah, that’s why she didn’t completely kill me when I said it. She knows I believe in her,”

There’s another small stretch of silence after his laughter dies out.

It feels so unnatural, to have nothing to say between the two of them. Ayca would usually try to keep up the conversation enough for the two of them.

Now it’s up to Imperial to keep the conversation going.

“Yeah. Synn’s… capable,” Capable enough to hold her own in battle and potentially capable enough to be an issue if she had actually tried to kill him.

Ayca nods proudly, a look of pure admiration on his face.

Fuck, he can’t take this for much longer.

“So…” Imperial trails off (because he hates himself, apparently), his eyes fixing themselves to the side. He’s opening his mouth and closing it again, trying to make a decision on what to say.

What does he want to say? He wants to talk to Ayca, be around him, but he’d rather chew off his arm than to see his lovesick face when talking about Synn for one more second.

Ayca’s staring at him. He knows he is. He wonders what he thinks he’s going to say.

“Do you.. love her?” Imperial bites the inside of his cheek and looks up at Ayca. Gods, his skin is crawling with heat. He’s never been more embarrassed in his life, he feels so exposed. He always feels that way with him.

Ayca looks a little taken aback to hear the question, and he tilts his head a bit, chewing on his next words.

“I think so. I mean, I care about her a lot,” He brushes his hair back again, turning his whole body to the side. “Isn’t that what love is? I mean, like, I’ve loved people before, but I don’t know if I’ve…” he trails off, his face shifting into something more.. fragile.

Vulnerable would probably be a better word for it, but Imperial feels like if he so much as breathes out he’d break apart.

Ayca’s eyes flick over to Imperial. He says slowly,

“I don’t know if I’ve ever really.. been in love,”

Imperial attempts to swallow down the lump forming in his throat.

“Oh,”

It looks like Ayca wants to say more, but he doesn’t.

This time, Imperial’s more than happy to let the silence ring between them.

He leans against the wall next to Imperial. His fingers drum on the concrete rhythmically.

“Have you?” Imperial’s eyes snap up to look at him, his heart pounding.

“What?”

Ayca looks at him now, studying his face.

“Y’know. Been in love,”

Imperial’s nose twitches as he barks out a laugh. An ugly, angry feeling rises in his chest. He rubs the side of his face with his hand and lets his linger on his neck. Gods, he’s so miserable.

“Yeah. Once,”

“How’d it end up?” Imperial’s head snaps up to look at him before he can even process what he said to him. It’s not his fault and he fucking knows it but knowing doesn’t stop the ugly rush of heat and anger from erupting from him.

“Don’t you fucking ask me that,” Ayca’s eyes widen as he flinches back (he doesn’t move away. Why isn’t he moving away?).

“I didn’t-“

“Cut the shit, you know exactly what you’re doing,”

Deep down, Imperial doesn’t think that he’s trying to antagonize him, because that would require him to be aware of his feelings for him (but honestly, how could he not be? Imperial is awful at hiding anything he feels).

He wants to cry or kiss him or throw up or punch him but really he shouldn’t do any of that so instead he’s yelling at him.

Push it all down and just be angry. It’s the easiest thing to do.

“Imperial, I-“

Imperial turns his head at the side and laughs. Like, genuinely laughs, body shaking against his. Ayca is bewildered and.. honestly a little offended? He props himself up on his hands like he’s about to get up (made impossible by Imperial’s weight digging on his hips) and tries to get up all close to his face.

“What-?”

“Ayca, if I did that, I’d probably end up ripping out your throat. I’m not joking,”

For a guy who isn’t joking, he sure is laughing a lot. Ayca frowns. He’s decided that he doesn’t like it when Imperial laughs at him.

“Wha- *cmon,* no you wouldn’t! Have you ever *actually* done that before?”

Imperial gives him a look.

“I don’t fight like that, Ayca,” Ayca raises an eyebrow. Imperial rolls his eyes and sighs.

“Not unless it’s a full moon, I guess? I prefer to use guns, you know that,” his hand falls on Ayca’s chest. The warmth of his hand makes his skin buzz (Imperial runs warmer than Ayca does. He finds it kind of intoxicating).

“I’ve also never been with someone as crazy as you before. I don’t think literally *anyone* has asked me if I could, ‘pretty please lethally bite their throat a little,’”

“Just a little bit?” Ayca grins. Now it’s Imperial’s turn to be bewildered. He cards his hand through his hair nervously and says,

“Ayca, I think you’re forgetting that I’m a werewolf?”

He pauses, tilting his head with a frown. Ayca hadn’t forgotten he just, like, didn’t think it was that pertinent? He focuses his eyes on Imperial’s mouth.

His lips are slightly apart, showing just glimpses of his teeth. He traces one end if his mouth to the other with his eyes. The large gash on the side of his face betrays his ‘normal person’ facade. With teeth like that, Ayca’s surprised that no one clocks him as a werewolf sooner.

But, really, now that he’s looking at them, they can’t be *that* sharp, can they?

Before he could really think about it, Ayca reaches his hand up to his mouth and gently persuades his lips to part with his thumb, pressing gently onto his teeth. He feels Imperial’s breath hitch, but he makes no effort to move away. (He feels his eyes bore into him. Ayca always feels just a little bit like he’s being stalked whenever he does that)

Ayca slides his thumb across his canines and earns a small cut. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to suggest that any more pressure would. He suppresses a shiver. Fuck, they *are* really sharp. He does forget that a lot.

“So what if they’re sharp? I’m not afraid of that,” (He might be a little afraid of that if it was anyone else but Imperial).

(He still might be a little afraid).

Imperial swallows and shifts his hips just a bit back to lean forward a little more, placing his hands on the floor by Ayca’s head to steady himself. Ayca lets his hand fall from his lips down to the collar of his jacket. Imperial’s looking at him with an odd mix of concern and arousal. It’s like he’s trying to weigh the pros and cons of potentially bleeding him out for some horny satisfaction (Ayca’s horny satisfaction, to be clear, but it *definitely* looks like Imperial’s into it too). He bites his lip.

“That’s not… it’s my jaw strength that I’m worried about,”

“I’ve never complained about your jaw strength, sugar”, Imperial scoffs and Ayca laughs.

“I’m being serious. Especially with, um, your neck. That is genuinely lethal,”

He lifts the straw up to his lips and swallows the drink down quick, the cup clattering onto the floor just as fast. He throws his head up, taking a shuddering breath before leaning in further to take up more of Ayca’s space. Imperial’s eyes are deeply lidded and blown out wide with pure want. Ayca’s mouth goes dry.

“I don’t want to remember this,” he says quietly, as if he wishes to let even the admittance itself be lost to the wind.

Ayca would, in any normal situation, be incredibly offended and upset.

But as Imperial leans in closer and closer, the only thing he could manage is a small frown as his eyes gaze downward to his lips.

Imperial doesn't dream. Not often, anyway. During training he was getting four hours of sleep a night on average and during college he'd be lucky if he went to bed before sunrise. Not to mention the week before a full moon... Essentially, he's not used to sleeping soundly enough to dream at all. The only time he completely passes out and wakes up refreshed is the day after the full moon, if he's allowed to rest.

The night blurred together in stop-motion blocks and glimpses of moments -- it's not dissimilar from being wasted, but definitely a lot more violent. He remembers locking himself in the dungeon and handing the key to Ayca.

"You're giving this to me? I'm flattered," Ayca holds the key to his heart mockingly. Imperial clenches his teeth.

"You're the only one that wouldn't let me out. Don't let it get to your head," He snarls. Ayca snorts, already playing with the key with his nimble fingers.

"Whatever you say, Rover. See ya at sunrise,"

And then the memory shifts to him backing against the wall some time later, his chest heaving, his breath shallow, his heart quick. The moon was up. In her pale and unforgiving glory, he began to turn.

He remembers howling, he remembers crying. He remembers gnashing his teeth and barking at something. At someone? He doesn't remember. He doesn't remember a lot most full moons. It could've been Ayca. But he said he'd come get him at sunrise, and if he was still in wolf form, then...

Ayca walks up to the cage gingerly, eyebrows furrowed together and eyes wide, a nervous smile playing on his lips. He stops a couple steps away from the bars.

"Man, you sure are a wolf, huh," He says rather stupidly. The wolf growls as if to say, "Uh, yeah, duh," The wolf paces with an aggressed boredom. He's gnashing his teeth, snarling when Ayca tries to step closer. Snapping at nothing.

Ayca looks up at him, thumbing the key in his pocket. Thinking about something he shouldn't be. He bites his lip.

"...It probably won't be too bad to let you out, right? Just gotta keep you active," The wolf watches as the key reaches the lock.

He remembers chasing someone, chasing a chain, jumping over a river and running with a reckless abandon. He remembers Ayca's laugh, like bells ringing beautifully in the wind. He remembers having a spike of adrenaline, and he remembers it feeling good.

The wolf -- Imperial slows to a trot, panting as the night begins its transition to day. Ayca isn't far behind, gasping for air similarly with a wide grin on his face. He leans on Imperial's side haunch for stability, running his hand through his thick coat.

"Slowing down already? I thought you-MMMF" He's interrupted by Imperial shaking out his fur, nearly completely knocking him over. He squawks and grabs at Imperial for balance. That ends up working against him as Imperial decides to slump to the grass in the opposite direction. Ayca falls on top of him, breaking into a fit of giggles, muffled from the mass of wolf underneath him.