Tw: DARK FIC, grief, hair loss, suicidal thoughts, suicide, angst, nothing but sad feels.
WC:1033
Please don't read this if you are uncomfortable with these topics or they will trigger you. There are lots of other amazing stories out here you can check out instead and your mental health is important!
I blame my friends for telling me about the brought back wrong au.
AO3 link
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Law couldn't bear to be without you but you weren't you anymore. Just a broken shell in a decaying body. He couldn't help the choked out sob that broke free as he ran his trembling digits through your hair only to find a handful of it in his hand. You deserved better than this. Better than being forced to decay just because he didn't want to lose you. For a moment he contemplated trying to use the true power of his devil fruit to give you eternal life at the cost of his own but he knew you'd probably throw yourself to sea if you came back and he was dead.
If it even worked.
Though, would it truly be so terrible? To be dead alongside you? To take your hand in his once more in whatever journey lies beyond this life? Law didn't even feel alive anymore without you by his side. The others would be heartbroken but they'd move on, find another crew or just keep on the journey themselves.
Law glanced out over the cliff he was sitting with you on, the polar tang resembled an ant with how far away it was down the beach. Would they see him jump with you? Would they hate him for leaving? He wouldn't blame them.
He hoped they wouldn't.
His gaze fell to your face, searching for any sign you were there yet the once familiar warmth in your gaze was dull and unblinking. The only sign you were even alive was the slow and Shakey rise and fall of your pale blue and purple chest. You had lost so much weight yet never once did your stomach growl for sustanance. Law bit his bottom lip until he tasted blood, trying his best to hold himself together. After a few moments he began to speak to you even though he knew you'd never respond.
"You know, I was trying my best to avoid you when I first let you join the crew..You were just so pure and different then the others and myself and it scared me how easily my heart soared the first time you smiled at me once you stepped on the polar tangs deck. The way you always took care of everyone and took on the chores nobody else wanted to do made me so angry. I could tell you were just trying to be helpful but I wanted you to be more selfish. It felt like you didn't think you belonged."
Law stopped for a moment to run a hand down your cold cheek, thumb gently tracing the shape of your nose before it moved down to trace your chapped lips. He knew if you could see him now you'd probably cry yourself. Law hadn't been sleeping much at all. His eyes were almost constantly bloodshot from crying and his eye bags were darker then they'd ever been. His once toned body was nearly skin and bones because he could barely bring himself to eat.
Everything he tried to eat tasted rotten, like it wasn't meant for him to consume. Nothing could compare to the food you made anyways, not even the idiot cook on the straw hats crew could get him to eat much. He choked back another sob as he cradled your face in his hands and leaned in to rest his forehead against your own as he continued on.
"But then when I finally got the nerve to call you into my office and ask about it you looked at me with such sureness and told me you knew you belonged because I chose you. You told me you had been invited to Luffy-Ya's crew after I asked you to join and you chose me. I was flabbergasted, and if I'm honest with you it was in that moment I knew I had fallen for you. That terrified me so I became more distant yet you didn't push me, you waited so patiently for me to get my head out of my ass and come to you. I never told you but you were my first for a lot of things. You changed me so much for the better. You taught me how to really live again once I'd completed my goal. I wish I'd of told you then how I felt so we could have had more time together. So I could have really made you feel treasured. I'm sorry I worked so much and put you second. I should have took you out every time we docked and spoiled you rotten. You deserved so much better than me and yet you loved me and never once complained about a single thing."
Tears fell to your cheek as he silently cried, the knot in his throat nearing it's breaking point. He was so tired, tired of crying. Tired of the repeating nightmare that was the moment you jumped in front of him to save him from the enemies attack that left him alive kneeling on the dirt and you dead on impact. Law kissed your forehead gently before trailing kisses down to your lips. His next sentence came out broken and hoarse.
"You were selfish, selfish for giving your life up for mine and I'm sorry that I'm too selfish to live without you."
"I'm sorry but this is where we part ways guys. Take care of yourselves and don't cry too much, especially you Bepo."
Law took his hat off and sat it beside his blade before he moved to pick you up bridal style and cradled your head in the crook of his neck. He slowly carried you to the cliffs and stopped, glancing from your dead gaze to the jagged rocks below before finally settling on the distant image of the Polar Tang with a sad smile.
With his final goodbyes whispered to the wind Law let his gaze fall back to your lifeless one. Even in your zombie-like state he couldn't help but to think the sunrise still looked beautiful in your eyes. He kissed you again, holding you just a little tighter as he stepped off the edge without another sound, eagerly awaiting your soft embrace in the afterlife.
