‘ you are very pale, dear girl.    have you been eating?   sleeping well? ’       gentle hands caress her friend’s own, worry in their constant touch.

         ‘   OH , well , i lah - like to get to know people . nah - not too many people make their  –––––– make their way through these parts anymore .     ‘          nervousness radiates from lanky figure as lips barely manage to twitch up to offer a smile .

“ let’s just see the expiry. ”

no preamble. no build up. introductions have become shorter and shorter with every passing short relationship ( he feels, at times, inclined to use the word fling and feels disgusted whenever it comes to mind ) and they’d done only the most simple thing. he’s said his name, and heard hers, and now comes the frustratingly familiar practice of checking to see how long they have until they’ll be passed on to others. thus comes the frustratingly familiar practice of seeing some short amount of time and knowing that nothing good will come of it.

andrei is seated across from her and looks as tense as he feels ; shoulders draw up a little, fingers tap nervously on the edge of the table, breaths draw short and shallow and he has to think about them in order to slow them. discomfort has marked most of his interactions ; he remembers most of his previous encounters without any fondness, and there comes with these memories a certain degree of regret. he’s given himself, his soul and his heart and his body to people who he will never again meet and it has jaded him. mistakes have been made, and they have laid into him damages, and whenever a new date begins, the emptiness that washes over him is indescribable and complete.

❈ ✼ ❈   a winter’s ball starters  ( accepting!! )   //  @wivestold

       her eyes could not be wider  ;;  she turns to her friend with a mixture of trepidation and concern, edged with incredulity she could never put into words.  she does not know  w h y  there is a couple in the closet   —  but she has a strange feeling, as if this is one of those things adults are so careful to keep from children.   (  tatiana is not quite a child anymore, but the same rules apply to grand duchesses, it seems. )

    a gloved hand offered in the well lit ballroom promised none of the enjoyment it should have entailed. amidst the gentle strum of guitars and the purr of violins, surrounded by quiet chatter, prince andrei had about him a silence which stopped it all. whether it was the age in eyes that should have been young, or the wrinkles that had prematurely marred his expression, or even his posture, strict and lacking any indication of relaxation, was quite unclear ---- maybe he was simply quiet.

and that did not mitigate the fact of his obligations, nor did it detract his polite air. proper would have best described the prince, donning a pressed military uniform, manicured so that it was difficult to notice the weariness that marked his every step or the reservation in his cold smile. a good man, he was not. a courteous one, however . . .

        @wivestold asked :     “let’s not discuss such dangerous topics.”   -  wivestold x

   ꧁ ༒ ☬   romanov sentence starters  /  accepting!  ☬ ༒ ꧂

        one would be hard pressed  to find such sensible advice anywhere else…    yet still, tatiana is forced to bit her tongue to restrain the inevitable retort.    when will we?   when can we?     when will it be safe to grieve out in the open, to pour one’s feelings out like water and breathe freely in the absence of them?   the answer is simple, and just as disheartening  :   never.

        from the grim look in nina’s eyes, she knows it too.    once, tatiana was the restrained one.   now, she brims with so much pain, bubbling to the surface out of her control, and nina wears a mask of steel.     h o w  did their positions flip so easily?          ‘ you’re right.   one never knows who might be listening, ’        she replies, tone carrying a hint of sulkiness, and pops a pastry in her mouth to avoid saying anything else.

❈ ✼ ❈   the great comet starters  ( accepting )   //   @wivestold

                                            nor, she suspects, is a maid.

       tatiana swallows past her discomfort, following in nina’s footsteps through the narrow hallway.  paint chips off the walls  ;;  the very air is stuffy.  she can’t recall ever feeling so crowded, even with nina’s small form in front of her and the flanking bodies of her guards behind.   when she asked  ( perhaps invited herself, really, but she’s been eager to visit her friend’s home for a while )  to be shown nina’s apartment, she didn’t expect… well, this.

        ‘  i  —  i am sorry to miss the chance to  —  meet her! ’    she stumbles over a loose floorboard, catching herself on the brittle wall.   hastily, tatiana recovers her composure.    ‘  but thank you for inviting me in.  you…  don’t sleep here, do you? ’ 

[ SMS : Tanechka ] : What status?

[ SMS : Tanechka ] : Oh. Wait.

[ SMS : Tanechka ] : I think you’d be better off asking me last night.