“i’m about eighty-five percent sure that i’ve come down with something, and i pretty much just blame it on the hundreds of stray tissues that ended up all over my classroom over the past two weeks. become a teacher, they said. it’ll be fun, they said. i think conning my boyfriend into going to bed early with me sounds like a solid option right now. also, i need to make a conscious effort to repeatedly mention throwing trash in the trash can, i guess.”














