#withoutahitch

Grinning from ear to ear as Jules stood before me asking the question she should’ve already known the answer to, I looked at the scene before me taking a quick moment to reminisce. She looked stunning. Then again, she always had. Breathtakingly so. As a matter of fact, on the night that we met she had left me quite literally, breathless. Sitting in a pub unable to gather my senses I, Kisten Axton, Mr. Composure had nearly become a giggling schoolboy, and I’d secretly enjoyed it.

Enjoyed seemingly losing my center of gravity. I enjoyed what I, at one time, never imagined I someday would…falling in love.

Of course, we weren’t always spot on, but then again no couple ever was. I had shied away from the whole concept at first, especially when Jules didn’t seem to notice me in the way I had immediately been drawn to her, but deep down I’d come to realize that that was something I’d subconsciously admired (even with a slightly bruised ego.) I’d been stupid and walked away not once, but twice leaving both myself and the woman before me shattered, but it never lasted. It could never last as I would always need my center of gravity.

Smiling at my dad as he shifted from foot to foot awaiting my answer, I winked before turning my attention back to Jules. “It would be my humble honor, Miss James.” I answered finally. “But first….” Holding up a finger I briefly made my way into the crowd, having a brief conversation with my aunt Blue, who looked stunning in all sizes her wee form nestled comfortably in his lap, as the elder simply smiled in approval at me. “No, I don’t mind.” She replied, her gaze sincere. “Just, you know…. give him back at some point. I’d hate for the rumor mill to start grinding.” Laughing, I graciously kissed her cheek before turning my attention to Hudson.

 “Hudson, my man,” I whispered. “I know you’re generally all business an that to you I am rarely just Kisten, but it would mean so much ta me if you’d switch places with my dad an participate as the officiant as I don’t wish ta give the gig ta a stranger, but ta family an you, Hudson, a my family an I couldn’t imagine you bein’ left out of it, o my dad not bein’ one of my very best men.”

Motioning toward my younger form, I smiled as he accepted my silent cue arranging the rest. I had no clue whetha o not he’d participate in the vow portion o not, my counterpart often an enigma. I’d known enough, of course, to know he genuinely adored Jules. Had he not, the pendulum would’ve easily swung his way, as it had when he was a toddler and I would’ve had no choice, but to send her on her way. Yes, he loved her. It was simply himself that he had issues with though that too vanished on occasion.

Watching him as he cordially ushered EX away from my gram and into his rightful place as Jules’s father, I gave her a coy smile as the pieces were falling slowly further into place.

“I can tell by the look of confusion on your face, Juliette,” I heard him whisper, “That you may have forgotten about your recent name change. No longer are you simply Juliette Willow James. You are Juliette Wlllow James-Chambers soon to be Axton and as such it is not only my duty, but my humble privilege to accompany my baby girl down the aisle. If she’ll allow me, that is.”

Offering the crowd a polite nod I mouthed “one more moment.” as I strode to my dad’s side, clapping him on the back and gently leading him toward an awaiting Sid, Bozwell, Fiasco, and Jem Odin, I kissed his temple without shame subtly retrieving his notes from his jacket pocket and passing them off to Hudson. “As humbled as I am by ya offa ta usher me into marriage as acting officiant I’d ratha you step into the triple role of best man, best friend an best dad. As, regardless ta your own jaded beliefs of ya self, it is the role you were made fa an have indeed done well fa as long as I have been alive.” Hugging him I felt a lump form in my throat as I drew in a breath, trying to compose myself.

“I love you, dad.” I whispered. “I have become a success not because I’ve inherited your ambition an drive, though I truly have, but because I truly feel I’ve inherited a portion of your soul. If you feel pride in me on this day, o any otha, rememba ta allow yaself a little pride if you dare because without you an mum I’d not only not exist, but my heart would not be so enriched as you both were the first to claim it.”

The lights came up slowly from the back where Kist and the boys stood to the front illuminating row by row the people that were attending.  Kist's investors, business acquaintances were regulated to back rows and it was mainly family that gathered at the front.  Finally, the light came up at the front illuminating myself.  The non-traditional red gown hugged curves, the skirt fell straight down. The slit in the back went to mid-thigh and the baby bump in front was not as visible as you would think.  I was nervous about this choice of dress.  I wasn't sure if Kist would have approved of red instead of the traditional white. All the guests stood, Havok, standing at where the pulpit would be rocking back and forth on his feet. I almost thought he was more nervous than I was.  Vi bounced Havi, my flower girls, Ahriah who's dressed was stuck in the back of her pullups was diligently watching her snail crawl up her arm.  Kit was beaming excitedly, her light brown hair curling around her ears as she watched her beloved big brother's face.

My best girl was at my side. Sid proudly displaying her own dress for anyone that would look. Especially Casper who watched her with such affection it would make anyone say "awe." My gaze turned to Kist's face, nervously waiting in anticipation his reaction.  My bouquet of white roses shaking slightly from my own nerves.  I bit down on my lower lip, trying to break the habit, but unsuccessful when it came to moments like this.

Havok suddenly broke the silence as he looked toward his son and grandson(s).  "Well, Kisten, do you want to take this woman to be your wife?"  Laughter was in his voice and in his eyes.  "I'm standing here with a pocketful of notes if you do."  He pulled a wad from his inner pocket and begin to sift through them. It was almost comical.  "I couldn't decide which I wanted to use," he informed everyone in the audience. "But looking at you I think I do now.  Just waiting for you to get up here, son."

My teeth had still not let go of my lip as I gazed at him.  It didn't matter which form he was in, he was always the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Younger or older.  I waited with slight apprehension as I waited for him to come down the aisle. I knew he wanted to marry me or he'd never ask, but this might not have been the way he wanted to do it.  In a small room filled with white roses and a bride in red.

Standing on the treadmill with my headphones on I breathed a sigh of relief. While most found exercise to be a tedious part of the day, I found that for myself it seemed to have the opposite effect. As when I was running, I was able to escape some of the stresses daily life seemed intent to hurdle in my direction. Oh, don't misunderstand me as there isn't any part of my life that I'd do differently given a chance. It's just that there is only so much a man can do. Why in a little over a year I'd managed to acquire some of the finest pubs in England and with any luck in a few short weeks I will be the owner (along with a few choice partners.) of one of the finest gambling establishments this side of the pond. It was just that well, I hadn't counted on all the things that now landed into what I'd like to call the other, category.

Simple things that to your average Joe might come naturally, but that to me required more time than any given 24 hour day might allow. Things like plumbing and the loosening and tightening of odds and ends, running on a treadmill for a few hours seemed to me like some sort of south sea vacation, even if to other's it seemed far less exotic.

Feeling my smile broaden as a familiar tune hit my ears, I found myself keeping pace with the music despite the beads of sweat already gathering along my hairline. I'd allow myself 5 more minutes of exertion before venturing beyond the walls of gram's home gym to see what else the world had in store, "Miss Right" making the last few miles of a 40-mile journey on the tread seem that much more doable.

"What the hell do you think you're doin', Axton?" Came my son's familiar voice as he entered the room, his younger form behind him looking just as impatient.

"Pardon?" I asked, casually lowering my headphones to rest around my neck. "Daddy, ids dime do dry own shuits por de tasinho openin' an you dust hee doin'.... wha de hell a you doin'?'

"Workin' out, son." I answered with a shrug not entirely sure why he seemed to be pacing. "Yeah well, tan you twit dat an do shower pease?" He asked, causing me to shrug again. "Sua son, though I'm  not so sua wha all the fuss is about.  Afta all, the casino won't be open until we know  it's up ta par it could be anotha couple of weeks yet, ya know?" "Yesh well, de fasser we do'ed dish pittin' de shooner you tan teck dish off ob you wist. Now do! Dake a shower. I toulda sworned I dust sawed pour plands die betause ob you stench!" He exclaimed, making a weird face.

All right, all right, I get it, damn!" I exclaimed with a laugh and a shake of my head, returning a few short minutes later, dressed and ready to show.

"What do ya think?" I asked somewhat in jest as my confidence had always been in place, (well, at this phase of my life anyway. The present me was a different story, but there were moments when I could see him coming around. Slowly, but surely.)

"Wookin' sharp, daddy!"  Jem Odin commented, suddenly in his own little suit, his older form nodding in approval. "We a nod de drue dest, dough. De drue sheal ob appoval has do tome prom mummy. T'mon, I knowed dust whee she is!"

Following him, I quietly wondered if I was ever that exuberant about seeing anyone or thing in my life, a smile touching my lips as a sea of faces flashed within my mind. My father, my sisters, Bozwell, Fiasco, my beloved Grams, Jules, my kids, my big brother, Syd, my grandfather Edward, Pierre.... as I mentally began to take stock in no particular order, I felt my smile grow once again. Yeah, I had. I'd walked with that stride at his age because even after everything I'd been through, both as man and boy.... I'd never stopped loving anyone. Never stopped fighting for them. For us. I was battle worn, and sometimes I felt broken, hell sometimes I did the breaking because no one is perfect, but at the end of the day, the ones with the power to break me also pieced me together. And I was better for it. Better for having let them. And grateful, most of all... that they let me.

I looked around at what was before me. I wasn't satisfied, but I didn't think I ever would be. Not when it came to Kist. Not when it came to our children. Not when it came to our lives together.  I wanted it all. Maybe that stemmed from having nothing my entire life, maybe it didn't.  I didn't think of myself as spoiled necessarily.  The word was more overwhelmed.  The Axton's had everything, so it was hard to give them anything they could truly be in need of or want.  Kisten did that for me though.  I barely had to look at anything that caught my interest before it was sitting somewhere I could find it.

I had told him that I didn't need everything I looked at, but he was so pleased and happy when he gave me something I wanted it was not in me to argue with him.  Sidney and Jem Odin had everything they could ever need and he seen to that too. If it wasn't him; it was Havok or Vi that made sure they had what they needed.  I had no doubt that the baby growing in my womb would also be treated as such.

Fixing a table cloth I turned inspecting it with a eye that had become known throughout all of Kist's endevors as an eye for detail.  If someone could find something wrong with anything it would be myself.  And what I seen before me, I wasn't exactly over the moon with.  A light was out on a crystal chandelier. Pulling over a chair I stood in it, biting my lower lip that was habit going on tip toe to screw in a bulb I known was loose.  "You know, if Kisten was to walk in here and see you doing that he would have a meltdown."  I finished screwing in the bulb and climbed down before I responded to Havok with a smile.  "Well, YOU are suppose to be keeping him busy and then come up with an emergency.....remember?"

Havok smiled. "Oh, he's busy.  Jem Odin has both versions of him searching for a just the right "suit" for the opening of the casino.  That kid is the master of deception and distraction."  I couldn't help but laugh. Jem Odin was all that and more.  He was my little boy.  He might not have been of my blood, but he was MY little boy, just as his twin sister was my little girl.  It amazed me how much Sid actually looked like myself.  Our eyes were shaped the same, our noses, dark hair. When the older version was visiting it was easy for us to pull off being sisters out in public.

Havok leaned against the door knob and smiled.  "Before you ask, yes, I got the license. I have it here." He tapped his tux jacket.  "I have the ceremony.  But shouldn't you go get ready?"  He was still smiling as some of our guests were already filing in.  I nodded, my mind going back to white dress in the back office I used.  "Yes, but both of them are going to be here, right?  I mean, I need to speak vows........"  This was much more difficult than it needed to be with both the future and the present Kisten here.  My heart, my mind, my body was in love with one man with two forms, and I wanted to make that official today. Havok rolled his eyes.  "Look, this has been hard enough to pull off.  You causing all sorts of distractions with the casino.  I guess it was sheer luck with the pub to give you an extra few days. I think the last thing my son will think this will be is an actual wedding ceremony.  I worry more about which one will insist on the wedding night."

I blushed heavily, my cheeks feeling hot.  Technically I had only been with the current once, but I never wanted to push him in to anything he was uncomfortable with. It just amazed me the difference between him  now and the more confident future version.  I patted Havok's arm as I passed him.  "Send Casper with Sidney to my office as soon as they get here! She's going to love being all dressed up!"

hisbrokenwatch

withouta-hitch