#withinthebrain

Load the car. bags of clothes, dog food, only what matters stacked in the back.

The dogs curl into the leftover space, a puzzle of fur and cozy. A cold nose finds my elbow from the backseat.

Drive.

The first stretch is easy, the road still wide with promise.

But somewhere between miles, the lake becomes a mirage, slipping just out of reach.

The last stretch, chaos.

Restless bodies, whimpers like small questions rising from the back, "are we there yet?"

Then, it fills the air.

The smell of the lake sweet as cake, a magnetic pull. Noses lift, pointed toward summer joy.

The door opens.

I recited the pattern against my pillow, 3.14159 sheep leaping behind my eyelids in the slow rhythm of a dripping faucet -2653589 fractions of a moment when infinity no longer frightens me.

And then the digits slide down the roof, -793238 fear pouring in a never-ending storm, fractures of lightning split the night, -46264 thunder in my mind drowning out the tessellating fear.

The sea expands beyond the horizon -3383779 waves colliding endlessly I drop my anchor into the unknown -5028841971 gently swaying repetition my favorite grouping of the ungraspable.

This fear of an eternal cosmic slide, -693993 sprinkles on my Cosmic Brownie, banana splits and frozen yogurt, -7510 licks to the center of the Tootsie Pop, at least the numbers taste of pi.

Fingers tremble, discovering hovering and hesitant.

Eyes widen exploring tracing the imagery of words, your flesh now warm to touch a lucid description before me.

The miles between us keep touch restrained, And the enigma of us prevents opening up,

Behind these screens, our fantasies are framed, Like secret flavors steeped in your favorite tea cup.

The real and virtual brush in a noncompete, A boisterous tender dominance behind blue light,

Live life like improv.

Yes, and… you fail, you flail, you rise, rewrite, call it art.

yes, and… be wrong, be strong, be weird regroup jump in.

ragged breath, chest to chest, nothing left to second-guess.

my stars tremble, heavens aflame, legs wrapped tight around your frame.

your grip a promise of war every kiss begging more

the full moon swollen my only gravity every inch devine depravity

A skeletal sky Leading us away from home: The bone-deep reminder Of our yesteryear drowned.

The ocean’s salty fingers tickled the sand Clawing higher and higher onto land Slowly unbuttoning the shoreline Swallowing our houses whole.

We ballooned like spiders, adrift on the wind; in search of higher branches.

We looked back.

At a village beneath the tongue of the sea: The ribs of our rooftops peeked through the flood, permanent cracks in our memories The fossils of home.

Under the deluge inundating our past, we are wandering spiders, our houses tied to our backs. We rise with the sun. We carry on.

The same skeletal sky, Points us anywhere but yesterday.