#witb! fic

"I lied," Alhaitham says, one week later.

"About what?" Kaveh asks, feet kicked up over the other's lap. Aggressively. Alhaitham tried to push them off several times before giving up. They're both on the divan, Alhaitham leaning back on the cushions with a book in hand. (Something about Deshretian language. It sounds boring. They should talk about it over dinner later, see if Alhaitham can convince him otherwise.)

Alhaitham fixes Kaveh with those two-toned eyes of his before shrugging and going back to his reading.

"Hey! Tell me!" Kaveh kicks a foot indignantly. Alhaitham makes a face and (unsuccessfully) attempts to shove Kaveh off him again. "Don't bring something up and leave me hanging!"

"Surely you can figure it out."

"Who the hell can guess based on something so vague? Just tell me."

Alhaitham sighs, but it's the too-shallow kind that Kaveh's learned means he's actually amused, and so it's more like his approximation of a chuckle. "Back when I ordered the soup. I lied."

"Oh my god," Kaveh says, "I knew it. Nobody in their right mind would—"

"You are my type," Alhaitham says, flipping a page. "Painfully, regrettably, exactly my type."

Kaveh feels his breath pulled out from inside him. All he can do is try not to squawk in shock as his heart does a whole gymnast's routine against his ribcage. He looks at the man in front of him and tries to process that, somehow, he has become someone's… well, not everything, but something.

When he manages to get his wits about him again, all he manages to say is, "So, wait, the soup part is real, though? The — the no soup part?"

Alhaitham laughs in that low rumbling way, and Kaveh can feel it in his toes. (They're very close to Alhaitham's chest!)

There are consequences, as it turns out, to pushing out an update for the most popular delivery app on the market without first consulting with your employer.

To put it lightly: Kaveh is banned from Doridashing for two straight weeks.

Honestly, he's getting off easy. He knows it. Dori knows it. There are, however, perks to being one of the boss's favorites, so rather than being fired, he's put on temporary leave.

Which still sucks. Kaveh can kiss all his stars goodbye; the system automatically wipes a user's reviews upon a ban. Of course, the stars can be returned after appealing them.

But here is the other consequence to pushing out an update for an app without asking ahead of time: his appeals on the matter have been revoked. It is apparently the only way Dori can appease shareholders.

So. He's banned from dashing, and when he does get back to it, he'll have no ratings and no stars. He will automatically be assigned the poorly-rated customers his update has deemed lower priority customers.

What can Kaveh say? His luck is in hell. Of course he's managed to make his own life miserable while doing something good for the rest of humanity. Ugh.

There is a silver lining, at least: one client has moved forward with a housing project after seeing his blueprints. So Kaveh won't be piss-poor and bumming around his friend's tavern for too much longer.

God. He hasn't slept on a solid bed in months. He'll have to work his ass off dashing as soon as his account is restored. And it's going to be miserable, but it'll help pay Lambad back for his kindness.

Tonight, though, since he is facing the consequences of his own actions, Kaveh's got nothing else to do. And, well, on Tuesdays, Lambad lets him drink for free, so…

He's halfway to plastered when someone sits right next to him at the counter. And at first, Kaveh doesn't even notice he's got company, honestly; he's too busy mulling over the pros and cons of going mora diving in the Akademiya fountains. (Which he has concluded— mostly — isn't worth it. But hey, if he gets desperate enough…)

But then Lambad approaches to take their order.

"One plate of fish rolls, and a side of ajilenakh cake."

Kaveh wheels around in his seat.

There are boons to the new system that got Kaveh banned.

Namely: Alhaitham Bahati is sitting at one star. (He's close to two — though he's gotten several zero star reviews from other dashers, which is nothing short of hilarious.)

Since Alhaitham's rating is scraping the bottom of the barrel, no other self-respecting delivery workers in the area pick up his morning coffee order, leaving it for Kaveh. Perfect.

Kaveh picks up the drinks and arrives at the house with glee.

"Good morning," he says as the door opens. He takes in Alhaitham's horrible bedhead, the droopy look of his eyes, and his slouched posture. "Or not?"

"Mornings are never good," Alhaitham supplies. His voice is rumbly, like he's just rolled out of bed. It makes Kaveh shiver in all the right ways.

Kaveh drops a latte in his waiting hands. "Explains why you ordered two." He watches as Alhaitham pops the lid off his cup.

"Hm." He replaces it with a frown. "You've ruined the latte art."

Before Kaveh can react — is he supposed to apologize for latte art getting ruined by, like, basic physics? They argue about this every other morning — Alhaitham nods to the other cup.

With a great sigh, Kaveh pops the lid off this one, too. As expected, the foam is all in disarray.

"That's disappointing."

"Well, what did you expect? For it to be different this time?"

"Is that so much to ask for?" Alhaitham looks so put out that Kaveh's retort dies on his tongue. The man looks so tired and... and…

"Um," Kaveh says, "if you have a pitcher, I guess I could… redo it for you?"

"That's not in your job description," Alhaitham points out. But after a beat, he steps aside. "Come in. I'll show you to the kitchen."

Kaveh follows him through the house, thinking about anything other than the fact that he's still on the clock and that this is not something he should be doing. Which isn't actually hard to do, because what the hell? Alhaitham's furniture is hideous to take in.

Kaveh points to the ugly carving sitting on the bookshelf. It has equally atrocious friends scattered around the living room. "What is this? It's so ugly."

"That is an Aranara. Surely you learned about them in preschool."

The moment Alhaitham assembles a pitcher, a frother, and a carton of milk on the counter, Kaveh gets to work. In a matter of a few minutes, in which they bicker about the merits of aesthetic taste, he's pouring the last of the foam over the second cup, tidying up the edges of the decorative feather he's created.

"There. See? All fixed."

Alhaitham takes the cup in hand, peering down at the art for a few moments. Then he takes a good, long drag of coffee, but not before swirling the cup.

Kaveh is dumbfounded. "You can't be serious."

"It's good." Alhaitham slides the other cup towards him. "Thank you."

"I just fixed the art! You whined about it!"

"It was nice. You looked very focused."

Kaveh shakes his head. "What are you playing at?" he asks. Two coffees... but Alhaitham normally orders one. And now he's teasing him. He let Kaveh into the house without arguing about the practicality of it even once.

But… no. Kaveh's got to be reading this totally wrong, right?

There's a long stretch of silence that's broken only by the clinking of glasses around them. Alhaitham is staring very observantly at the countertop. He drums his fingers on it.

"The dashers I've gotten this week have been incompetent."

"Oh. Is that all?" Kaveh snorts. "I bet you're rating's in the gutter, huh?" That would explain it — if Alhaitham can't get a dasher to pick up his order, he'd be forced to do it himself. Ha! Serves him right. Kaveh would pay good money to be a fly on the wall when Alhaitham visits Puspa Café for his evening coffee.

"Not at all."

Oh. Damn. Nevermind. "Huh… So, then why…?" Kaveh trails off. If it isn't lack in the supply chain, then…

"Most of them don't care to read simple directions, and I've had enough of their mistakes." Ha. Of course it comes down to control for him. Infuriating man. Lambad drops Alhaitham's food on the counter, raising his brows when their eyes meet, smile turning crooked.

Kaveh rolls his eyes. Archons, they're just talking. His friend is making all kinds of assumptions over there, he can tell.

"Have you quit working?"