#wisteriaasks

Many fighters are eager for the chance to kill you, and whoever deals the final blow will gain a promotion, so you'll have to face multiple of them at once.

You get given some rusted armour and a dull blade to defwnd yourself but the odds are hopeless

This is basically a glorified execution and all of the fatui will come to watch, including the harbingers and the tsaritsa herself.

The fight starts and through your divine powers and teyvat willing you to be alive, you're just scraping by. Luckily, each fighter wants to be the one to kill you, so they begin taking each other out. However your luck doesn't last as when you attempt to block a heavy blow with your sword, it shatters. Desperately sprinting around the arena, looking for any useable weapon, something whisks past your hair. A weapon is lodged into the ground just past you

The arena almost stops as your eyes track where it came from and you find yourself staring at the tsaritsa icy gaze. Completely indecipherable, you dont know if she intended to kill you with it or took pity at how pathetic you looked.

Now the tsaritsa is an archon, and i headcanon her weapon to be huge scythe, that literally no-one can wield due to the immense strength and power required to hold it.

Now picture the entire arenas suprise when you just pick it up

Alarm bells start ringing in everyones heads, and the harbingers go to stop the fight, but the tsaritsa stops them. She wants to see how this goes on.

The fight starts back up, and your still on the back foot, although now you have a chance. You're still heavily outnumbered, and you've never fought before, but maybe you can do this.

But you keep accumulating cuts and bruises, hit after hit. You may have a powerful weapon, but your lack of training shows until you are disarmed.

Your killer has a sadistic grin on their face, and as they bring their sword to your neck, you can't do anything but close your eyes and wait for the end.

But it doesn't come.

Opening them you find your attacker completely frozen in place, the entire arena in fact has been frozen.

Except for you.

The tsaritsa descends to you, and you begin thinking that she wanted the honour of killing you. But there is nothing but kindness in her eyes. She can see your gold blood, the warmth eminating from your chest, the way your eyes hold stars, how could you not be our creator?

The exhaustion catches up with you and you start to collapse, only for cold, soft arms to grasp you and whisper "Don't worry my dear, you are safe now."

Apologies if this was a little long, my brain just kept writing lol, also i am kinda new to writing and genshin, so this cam out as a half-fic half-brainrot lmao

-Rapid anon

It's okay, I'm honored to have such an ask after a long time.

The fact that you can carry such a thing is already a sign that you have to be either, very powerful (which you should have some kind of experience from training that you obviously don't have) or an archon, someone who's a pacifist and has never wielded a scythe.

A scythe is a weapon very hard to master on the spot, so maybe some leverage could be given.

I'm surprised people continued to fight you. Imagine, someone actually WIELDING a blade that is used by an ARCHON. Something so sacred that you, somehow, can control. If I was anyone of the fighters, I would run.

I wonder why the Tsaritsa hadn't stopped the fight. If I had this all mighty powerful weapon and it was in the hands of someone who was supposedly a criminal, I would try and get it back as soon as possible.

The fact that she had dragged this one means that she maybe already had her suspicions. I'm sure some of the harbingers would have noticed as well, maybe even changing their minds about you.

Like it's very much stated that the Akademiya looks down on performing arts and I am a huge theatre fan so I would stay quiet if any scholars started dragging theatre and once they were done I would state very clearly "I love theatre"

Oh, dear. They'd be quick to retract their words lest they wish for their tongues to be ripped out.

Of course, you are constantly surrounded by people who guard you and ensure your safety and needs are being met, so those scholars you're meeting must be of a high class or very notorious at least.

"O-oh! Of course, theatre has its own advantages and good points, but we believe that theatre's... disadvantages outweigh its benefits!"

They'd try and say something along those lines. You'll have to also soften your words as well though, some bad talk with those scholars and maybe a few would be aiming for your throat.

I just had the goriest idea for a fix I had in my Tumblr life

Bloody Mary!reader imposter au

So basically all who hunted down reader would get tortured, and most popularly via getting their limbs stretched until they almost fall off and reader would then pull out all their guts, but its a special case for the archons

The archons would be blinded as they hear the sounds of people's screams while the reader tortures them and then leaves their heads to be skewered on a spear at the gates

And then for the finally, the archive would be tortured by the white room torture method.

Was it gory enough?

TW: gore

They start listening carefully to the lyrics and writing them down. (I am so sorry if you listen to... sussy music)

Poof

YOUR THE MASTER NOW

And their just like "???"

And they occasionally fall into the habit of you know, doing chores and stuff.

And imagine you meet the archon for the first time and you just bow as an instinct. And their just like, "your grace NO!-"

Basically bowing at anyone with high authority

(Ningguang, Jean, kokomi, ayaka/ayato, etc)

Once you get accustomed to the fact that you'll always be below someone one way or another, it gets hard to ever actually get rid of this habit.

Especially if you are an extremely aware person, both personality-wise and aware of the lore, you will automatically clean up after people of high status, bow down to them, keep a polite act in front of them.

For people with less authority such as Noelle, you can handle being around them and you're more of yourself with them.

Thus, people who have any sort of authority or title will kind of start to despise being so powerful, you just seem so unnatural and stiff around them.

LMAO sorry I'm just wheezing so bad at this sudden idea that I had. A new idea for the SAGAU tag and it's terrible.

So is no one gonna talk about glitches and bugs in sagau? Cuz that would be hilarious 😂💀

Just reader trying to survive until they, out of sheer chance and luck, ACCIDENTALLY discovered that glitches and bugs work around them.

Imagine being chased and accidentally triggering a bug and you suddenly get stuck between two rocks only to start falling towards the ocean 💀

And once reader realizes this, they take FULL advantage of this, down right ABUSES it 💀💀💀

Even old bugs from previous versions work. No one knows if they could replicate it, or how this works, but the reader surely does. As long as they have the memory and the mental mechanics on how it gets triggered, the bug will happen.

😂LMAO I'll just put one example because this idea straight up woke me up at 2am. (I'll probably have more when i wake up)

Reader finally gets captured by the KoF and gets dragged into their headquarters for interrogation when they remembered from their world that there was a glitch that happened when they wanted to see Kaeya.

So reader just has to mentally think about the 'mystery of Arcadian ruins' quest and walk as if they're on their way to speak with Kaeya after finishing the said quest.

Foot steps inside the HQ then BOOM, reader gets under the map 💀 climb the nearest mountain and jump three times until a dent shows on the ground then gets transported to the nearest waypoint ☠️☠️☠️

Oh dear, you've really broken to laws of physics.

They'll see you try and glitch through (it would be terribly embarrassing if you fail the first few times) and get so confused when you actually bug through the system.

Honestly, they're a bit terrified you know these kinds of things.

they covered up crepus' death, they still try to cover up their involvement in things, they tried to arrest the darknight hero because they couldn't have a vigilante do their job better than them, and they still rely on a select group of people within the knights to do their job for them.

klee causes destruction even with people looking after her, and while she has good intentions she's still destroying public property. she does have solitary confinement but nobody ever seems to actually scold her or properly explain to her that she can't do stuff like that and that annoys me.

amber was actually kind of rude to us when we first met.

jean and noelle overwork themselves and don't even have the ability to say no. jean in particular is a bad leader. i'm saying it. she doesn't know how to delegate or pass off paperwork to others and takes everything on herself which is not what an actual leader should do. i don't like jean or noelle myself. they have bad working habits and everyone praises them for being workaholics.

eula acts standoffish and during her story quest I felt like she had a superiority complex. she even criticized diluc for being aloof when she's the same way. also she annoys me.

kaeya is...kaeya. he's a walking red flag. that's all i have to say about him.

and then the rest of the visionless knights. absolutely useless. they stand there with no training and then some of them complain about not having anything to do. maybe they can go train for threats? godwin and guy come to mind really quick. when arthur is being attacked by slimes guy doesn't even do anything! he complains about now being able to fight boss monsters!

plus they're like the police, except more incompetent. the knights of favonius really need to get their shit together.

Oh... my.

Oh, dear. There are many types of people you'll have to deal with. I don't think I can fit them all in here.