#wintersrapier

Blearily,  she blinks up at the plain,  grey ceiling,  her mind spinning in sputtering circles to try and recall how exactly it was she’d ended up here.  She can barely even remember the last time she’d slept in a real bed rather than a bedroll.  In fact...  She thinks there might be plenty of things she can’t recall.  Reaching through her mind for an explanation feels clumsy,  disorienting  ---  she loses focus too quickly and drifts off course,  and she can no longer find the thought she’d just had again. 

It’s an odd feeling.  Something tugs at the back of her mind,  something important,  but even odder is the fact that she doesn’t feel frightened.  

The unfamiliar bed shifts.  Ruby’s brow furrows at the movement,  and her head turns to the side.  Whatever small vein of urgency she’d pricked dissipates immediately as silver meets soothing blue with no heed to the darkness.  A small,  relaxed grin tugs slowly at her mouth,  and she feels...happy.

“ Hey,  you, ”  Ruby murmurs,  her voice soft to compliment the silence rather than break it.  Weiss doesn’t say anything in response.  There’s just a pleased hum,  low in her throat,  and...  It reminds Ruby of something.  That important feeling is back again,  pricking at the back of her mind,  even closer again,  but---  A cool palm lays against her cheek,  and it all slips away.  Everything,  everything that’s not the warmth of her partner beside her.  

Her head tilts to the side just enough to brush a kiss against Weiss’s hand.  A breath,  slow and unhurried.  “ What are you doing awake? ”  she finally murmurs,  watching her with tired eyes that trace the curve of her jaw,  the arch of her cheek almost reverently,  drinking her in.  “ You should be resting up. ”  She doesn’t know why that’s true,  but at the same time,  she just...knows that it is.

Weiss smiles,  soft and rueful,  and her thumb brushes against Ruby’s bottom lip.  “ I’ll have time later, ”  she says,  her voice gentle and lilting.  If given the chance,  Ruby would get lost in it.  But there’s something about it that tugs harder at that something important.  Why does the word later stand out?  What’s later?  

A strange look crosses her face,  one that’s not so easily dissuaded this time by Weiss’s soothing presence.  She parts her lips as if to ask,  to look to her partner for the answers she always seems to have,  but she doesn’t need to.  A slow blink,  and that something slots into place.  She just knows.  

“ ...Salem, ”  she mutters under her breath,  a prickle of unease pulling heavily at her chest.  A restlessness infects her again,  rearing its distorted muzzle  ---  daring her to get up,  to pace,  to act.  “ We were...  We were fighting Salem,  weren’t we?  All of us,  together. ”  She feels Weiss’s thumb trace circles against her cheek,  but both that and the fuzzy images flicking through her head feel as if they’re happening to another person,  someone far,  far away from this little space they’ve carved out.  

Ruby lays in silence for a long while.  Weiss lets her.  And finally,  a slow,  even breath escapes her chest,  and she turns carefully onto her side to face her partner.  With a quiet voice,  she asks,  “ Weiss...  Am I dead? ”

Her response is laughter.  Light,  low laughter,  and she watches the way Weiss’s nose crinkles as she does so.  Ruby doesn’t notice nor does she care that a lopsided smile finds its way back onto her own face,  but this time it isn’t distracted,  oblivious.  It’s just...heavy and accepting,  truly drinking in every detail of her features this time,  as if it’ll be the last time.  She knows that it is.

She knows the truth even before Weiss needs to tell her. 

“ Would I be here if you were dead? ”  Weiss asks,  arching a single eyebrow and giving her that look she knows all too well,  the one she’s figured out means she can’t quite decide if Ruby’s adorable or exhausting.  

Ruby just giggles in return,  looking appropriately bashful.  “ No,  I guess not, ”  she agrees easily enough.  “ But...  You’re here now. ”  A beat,  and the mirth slips away.  “ Even when I’m dying.  And I am dying.  Aren’t I? ”

She knows the look Weiss wears when she can’t decide what she wants to say,  too.  Given the circumstances...  Ruby doesn’t mind being patient as she waits,  silver eyes tracing the edges of the conflict that flits across her face.  And finally,  Weiss just lets out a breath of her own,  folding her hands under her cheek as a pillow.  

“ What did you think was going to happen,  Ruby? ”

And Ruby wants to tell her anything but this.  But...  Hidden carefully away inside a locked desk drawer in Patch,  there are enough sealed envelopes inked carefully with the names of those she loves most that say otherwise,  aren’t there?  

She’d never stopped believing in their fairy tale endings.  Not once.  However,  at some point she had come to realize that not everyone in those stories got to witness the Princess’s happily ever after. 

Ruby thinks it’s alright if she’s one of them.  As long as the Princess gets that happily ever after...  She can rest easy.  Can’t she?

“ I guess I should’ve known I was dreaming, ”  she whispers instead,  and one hand reaches out to brush against Weiss’s cheek.  She doesn’t even notice that it’s gloved,  bloody,  pale.  All she sees is the way Weiss watches her,  the furrow of her brow she wants to kiss away,  the bottom lip caught between her teeth instead of Ruby’s.  “ I never told you how I felt. ”

“  You didn’t, ”  Weiss agrees with a small shake of her head.  Even so,  her eyes don’t leave Ruby’s for a second.  “ But you showed me.  Every day. ”

‘ Did I? ’  she wants to ask.  ‘ Was it enough? ’

She doesn’t think it ever will be. 

“ Will you be alright? ”  Her voice is low,  worried.  A frown pulls at her features,  discontent.  “ You and the others? ”  Blake,  Yang...  What had been her last words to them?  Had she told them how much she loved them?  She can’t remember right now.  

“ Will you ever start worrying about yourself for once? ”  Weiss gives her that reproachful look again,  but there’s no venom in it.  

Ruby just laughs,  quietly and half - heartedly.  “ Sorry, ”  she murmurs with an even smaller shrug,  retracting her hand from Weiss’s cheek to her own chest.  “ I don’t really...know how to do this.  It’s not like I’ve ever died before. ”  She tries for a wry smirk then,  but it falters.  The words hit her through the haze for the very first time. 

She’s...dying.  It’s over.  Everything is over.

Her breath comes in shaky next,  then goes out shakier.  Cold fear creeps through her chest and she swallows hard.  And she’s...  She’s scared.  She doesn’t want to die.  She doesn’t want to leave them.  

She wants Yang here,  for her big sister to tell her everything will be alright.  She wants her Dad.  She wants Uncle Qrow.  She wants...to see Blake again,  and Jaune,  and Nora,  and everyone,  and she wants---  She wants Weiss.  The real Weiss,  not this fever dream she’s cooked up in her head to protect her from the reality of whatever cold,  hard ground she’s bleeding out on.  She---  She---  She just---

“ Shhh,  it’s okay,  Ruby.  It’s okay. ”

She’s crying.  She doesn’t know when she began,  but in a way,  it just feels like she’s never stopped.  

Hands settle on her face again and Ruby lets out a muffled whimper,  swallowing sobs and hiccups as she curls her knees up as if to shield herself,  as if she just denies this hard enough,  it can’t be happening.  The entire time,  Weiss murmurs soft reassurances and wipes at her tears,  until Ruby’s breathing becomes ragged but manageable,  until she no longer feels like she’s cracking at the edges and shattering at the seams. 

“ Weiss, ”  she eventually whispers,  voice unsteady,  fingers curling into the sheet beneath her.  “ Is it...  Is it going to hurt? ”

There’s a pause.  Fingertips still against her skin.  And for a second,  she almost expects another smart remark,  one that might even elicit a watery laugh because yes,  she fell in love with this part of her too.  But Weiss just sucks in an audible breath and tells her,  “ I hear that...  It’s just like falling asleep. ”

Just like falling asleep.  That doesn’t sound too bad.  

Without even realizing it,  Ruby begins to breathe easier.  The tension slowly,  ever so slowly,  begins to trickle from her,  and her eyes close.  Her next question comes slightly easier,  on a breath,  with a wish.

“ Is my mom going to be there? ”

Weiss’s hand moves to her hair,  and she can feel the bed shift again just enough to know that she’s leaned up on her elbow now,  just to get closer.  

“ Mhmm, ”  she reassures her lightly,  playing with her hair the way she’s always liked.  Ruby doesn’t know if she ever told Weiss that she does,  if she ever got a chance to find out on her own.  “ And Pyrrha will be there too,  and Clover,  and Oz... ”

“ That sounds nice, ”  Ruby murmurs back.  Slowly,  her eyes slide back open to meet Weiss’s,  unguarded and pliant.  Trusting,  always.  “ Will you be there? ”

Against the nape of her neck,  Weiss’s hand stills.  And without even thinking,  Ruby’s reaches out for her thigh to offer her own comfort,  drawing a light,  knowing laugh from her before her motions resume. 

“ You made sure I wouldn’t be, ”  she reminds her,  and Ruby cracks a small grin.  Pride swells distantly in her chest at that knowledge  ---  a reminder more like,  another foggy image in the back of her mind.  The details are unimportant now.  All that matters is that Weiss is safe.  All that matters is that they all are. 

“  Heh,  yeah.  I sure did,  didn’t I? ”

Ruby feels tired.  Her blinks are slow,  unhurried.  But the terror that had begun to grip her has dulled,  uncoiled from her gut by Weiss’s warmth.  She should be scared,  but...  She doesn’t think she is anymore.  

“ When’s it going to happen? ”  mumbles Ruby,  face half pressed into the pillow beneath her,  fully content to simply melt under her partner’s touch.  Weiss doesn’t falter. 

“ Whenever you’re ready, ”  is her quiet promise,  and Ruby just hums idly in response to that.  That doesn’t sound too bad either.  She’s spent so much of her life trying to go faster,  faster,  faster.  Slowing down...  Maybe it’s time. 

With a comfortable breath,  Ruby shifts so that she’s lying on her back,  chest rising and falling steadily.  She reaches up through the curtain of white framing them both to brush her thumb against her favorite place  ---  the bottom of Weiss’s scar,  reserved only for those moments they never spoke about,  where they both wondered ‘ what if I just moved a little closer--- ’  and yet never did. 

“ Weiss? ”  she prompts softly.  Her partner simply looks at her,  and then turns her head just enough to brush a kiss against her hand in response,  returning the gesture from before.  Ruby gives her a small,  adoring smile.  It’s fitting that she would get the last.  “ I’m really glad that it was you I dreamed about. ”

Weiss doesn’t say anything.  She can’t read the look flitting across her face,  she’s too tired to do so,  but she feels like that specific brand of sadness isn’t part of her imagination.  It’s a memory,  one that she can’t quite put her finger on.  Ruby wants a smile instead  ---  for that to be her last image of Weiss,  but at the same time,  she wants to take everything about her with her.  All of her good,  and all of the bad.  Committed to memory,  woven into her soul. 

“ Will you stay with me? ”  Ruby mumbles as she feels her eyes grow heavier.  There’s an ache in her side she’s tried to ignore,  but it’s getting heavier and heavier,  spreading like molten fire,  solidifying and weighing her down.  She refuses to pay it any attention.  All of her is focused on blue eyes instead,  her anchoring point as they always have been. 

“ Ruby Rose, ”  Weiss says softly,  and she can feel warmth on her face once more.  A brush of lips against her forehead. “ I never left you. ”

Her hands are empty,  but from the same place she can feel the sharp sting of death in her side,  she feels life in her palm  ---  warm,  comforting,  squeezing tight.  She squeezes back,  a tug on a fraying red string.  

‘ ---hold on!  Please,  just hold on--- ’  she thinks she hears,  like a dream within a dream.  

Ruby thinks she snorts a bit at that,  somewhere,  with that same cocky grin she always wears when she hears something funny.  

‘ Come on,  Weiss.  As if I’d ever let you go. ’