#winter stranger

the notion of winter falls everywhere even in California it descends even when we can't see it it is like moonlight tonight the snow looks like crushed pills and I don't care about trees or mayors or bakers or fathers I care about the snow — how grim it is in the dark and how quiet in the light

A long life full of terror/ is still a long life. And the terror/ subsides after a little while/ until you can barely distinguish it/ from the clouds. (I promise.)

when you see some things/ for the first time/ you know you have to go// but it takes seeing them/ over and over/ to know how and where and when.

But how was I/ supposed to know/ that death doesn't/ have to leave a mark/ to come and go/ at any hour/ of the day or night,/ that some years he/ sends just his fingers/ toward you/ and some years he sends/ his entire body/ to sit gently/ on the bed beside you.

I promise there is joy/ even if, at times, it feels/ like it has been refracted/ through a window, that/ some meaningful fragment/ has been lost on its way to me.