#windswepthead

omg though we saw movie 43 and that's some fucked up shit like it was unforgettable and kind of left me dumbstruck but i mean if it hadn't been funny then i would probably have left crying and shit because it was just rjgnfadds

This will be fucking cheesy as fuck but I don't give a fuck. Fuck. 

Okay, Amy....

I'm not quite sure if you know just how important you are. You are one of the very few people I can actually talk to. And I don't mean "discuss my feelings" and shit, which btw, we actually do in our own weird way, but I mean just talk to. I feel like I don't have to hide and that's really really rare. I'm shit at advice and feel really helpless right now, but I know you are going through a hard time. The only thing I can say to comfort you is that I feel the exact same. I have no idea HOW to articulate it but you know. You just know. We are similar in so many ways and I am so lucky that I found someone like you in my own school. Who is the same age and is so lovely and beautiful and caring and kind and funny and easy to talk to....the list is endless. You are so, so important. I felt really shit not so long ago, and now I feel like I'm finnaly starting to make a  recovery. Just know, It does get better. I hope you realize that you are part of the reason I'm recovering. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Try to focus on the beautiful things in life, I know it's hard. You and I seem to find beauty everywhere, you just have to look...hard. Not everything is bad, not everyone is bad. The negative just stands out more. You can't give up, you can't settle. You can't just "put up with the pain". It will destroy you, trust me. I felt like I had to do something and I'm really shit at this but just think, if we were  living together, we would just watch Moulin Rouge and think about our amazing life and future. I kind of feel like this post was to myself, as well as you to be honest. And I know that you can't be fucked with the family drama at Christmas and it is a completely commercial tradition that doesn't really make sense, but just try and make the best out of a bad situation. I'm sorry if i've put a downer on your day or if i've 'overstepped' my place. It's just, I couldn't just sit here when you feel this way. You know you can text/call/message me. Sometimes if you feel shit, it's better just to feel shit for a while than to fake happiness ..if that makes sense. Just always remember that, I can't say I know what you are going through because everyone's situation is different and everyone perceives things differently, but I am here. I don't really know what I can do, but i'll always listen and try my best. 

I hope you have a phenomenal Christmas as you are possibly the most amazing person I've ever met and you deserve it. 

Oh and sorry that this was so shit. 

I wish you a Merry Christmas and a much better New Year.