#willingvictim

Still harder Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret But I know if I could do it over I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart That I left unspoken

John was lost. Mentally, physically. He figuratively played with the idea of leaving, of seeking for help from a "talking Beast," which he heard about from Digory and Mabel. But just as he turned to strike a conversation with a Lophostrix cristata, he remembered that it was also Digory and Mabel who spoke about Him. But what was he supposed to do? Call out? Wait to be found? Would He even try to find him if he wished it enough? Or perhaps praying was a better option? But what was he supposed to do? Offer Him tea and biscuits? Faint?

The final, lingering thought weakened his legs. His resolve. He succumbed to immense strength of gravity and fell to his knees, his head hung, already defeated. Worries, suspicions, doubts. They were defeated. Abandoned, for now. In its place came a whispered name.