#will bryce

Will Bryce

I write this as I watch, so basically, it's real time watching with me only in just one post.

And we start of course with the most idiotic team of scientists that has ever lived on a tv series. Because SERIOUSLY, what were they expecting, opening the door again? Carebears? Rainbow Brite? No, of course not. Death and destruction, that's it.

Also, I hope the general dies painfully. He has that look of a main villain that I usually hate so yeah, death. Pleas. Soon.

And OH! They're russians. So they're ANOTHER team of very stupid scientists, not OUR stupid scientists. Of course. The Eighties and the cold war and the Red Scare. So... HOW did they get a gate?

(And no, seriously, Scientists in fiction are always the stupidest smartest people around. I'd be more annoyed by it if it wasn't because in RL we have Scientists making cloned mammoth meatballs so... yeah)

Mike is still an idiot I see. But those kids are not JUST one year older. No way.

Also, someone get Hooper a parenting manual and a hobby. And get El some standarts. Mike is way below her level.

Good to see Lucas and Max are still going strong. And that Max is now part of the party.

AWWW... Steve's coworker knows the kids as "His Children". And he lets them in to Rated B movies that they SHOULD NOT be watching. SO sweet. And Will is SO in love with Mike it's painful. Really, Mike, Eleven, GET some standarts. There are much, much better boys than Mike out there.

Also, I had seen Steve in the Scoops Ahoy's outfit before (hard not to in Tumblr) but NOTHING prepared me to the actual thing in action. He looks SO ADORABLE.

I see the series is now cribbing Resident Evil 2's homework.

I like Robin. She takes none of Steve's crap.

SIgh... Will should NOT be seeing a zombie movie. And hey, the Mind Flayer is back. This is not going to be a good summer for poor Will.

Will, get some taste. Seriously, Mike is trash.

Oh, I see Nancy fixed her polycule issue with the DUMB solution of just having one boyfriend. Well, that leaves Steve free to be a good Single DAd. And good to see that Super Bob is still remembered.

Nancy is still the most selfish girlfriend in the universe I see. Jonathan should also get some taste. I can see that in general the Wheelers are trash people.

AWW, Dustin was away. I really hope his friends didn't forget him because if they did? I am writing the whole group off. YEs, even Max. You don't diss my fave boy.

WHO THE FUCK gave Dustin THAT Monkey Cymball toy? Like, seriously... WHO?! Because you know what toy is? That toy is the cover to Stephen King's Skeleton Crew's short story collection first edition and frigging scary as hell. I can't see monkeys with cymbals thanks to that short story and THAT one is... like the worst of them all.

And AWWW, they just wanted to surprise him. I love them and their friendship so much, even if Mike's an idiot.

WHO THE HELL gave Billy a job as a lifesaver? That man is NOT equipped to care for anyone except maybe his mullet. And he needs to die. Like now.

And it is REALLY creepy to see all the moms lusting after him. ESPECIALLY mrs. Wheeler. She like totally needs to get a life. I want all the Wheelers to move. The only one I don't hate is Mr. Wheeler and that's because he's a non entity.

Hooper's actor was getting ready for Red Guardian, right? His weight is fluctuating weirdly. Also, seriously, get Hopper a parenting manual, and while I agree that Mike is a terrible boyfriend, but he was a lot more sensible in seasons 1 and 2 than in this episode. Sure, he is now a single parent of a teenager, but he didn't use to be this... Alpha male toxic.

Ok, If Nancy goes postal on her coworkers, I won't blame her.

Mike is an idiot. I think we have established that.

DUSTIN HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!!! OMG, Someone tell Steve that his child is growing up.

I agree with Steve. The hat ruins the hair.

And I love Robin.

Ok. Joyce giving parenting lessons to Hooper should be sweet but... it is a bit cringy. Since... uhm. yeah. HARD second hand embarrassment for me here. Also, she has no daughters so... it's weird.

Plus... he TALKED to Eleven last season. Heart to heart talks. Sure, sometimes they ended up in screaming bouts, but they talked. HE knew how to do that!

Like, seriously, how hard would it be to say "I don't want you kissing with tongue under my roof, El, you still need to get a bit more socialized before jumping on a relationship!"? Hopper could do that.

And I see that the Joyce/Hopper ship is sailing.

Mike is an idiot. Will needs a better crush, and Dustin needs better friends. I mean, Lucas and Max ALSO are in a relationship, but they are not just dumping everyone just to go and suck face.

And we're still cribbing Resident Evil's notes. Oh, and Vermin, from Marvel. Anyone remembers Vermin? VERY gross villain. Also Parasite Eve. Cool.

Someone kill Bill, PLEASE.

Seriously, we lost BOB so we could see one of the GROSSEST examples of male gaze and bad flirting with a woman who could be his own mother?! And Is MARRIED! And said NO.

Oooh, trouble in paradise for Max and Lucas.

No, seriously... Dustin needs better friends. He just came back from a month away, is VERY excited about his new girlfriend and how many things he learned over said month. And none of them believe him or want to hear about that and... it's sad. Really sad.

He should've gone to Steve. Steve would've listened, be happy about him and give him a ride to the hill so he wouldn't have needed to take five hours to get there.

BOB!

I miss Bob.

Ok, seriously, the way the situation of Eleven with Mike around Hooper is being presented really doesn't work for me. He is a father, an adult, and he KNOWS what Mike is thinking because he WAS an hormonal teenager too. And he was the one who let El go to the dance last year. So this whole... I sleep listening to their radio romantic songs is... WEIRD.

ANY parent would go "hey, you can't have your door closed when your boyfriend is here" and it would be OK. Yes, Kiss and all, but open door because you guys are not ready for being parents yourself, you idiots.

Sigh. Hooper. I like your plan of killing Mike. But you are the adult, and the responsible one. So don't kill him. But yes. Mike SHOULD remember that he is dating the Sheriff's DAUGHTER.

Poor Dustin.

At least Will DOES want to hang around. But then, Will is the other single kid in the group and the one who will NOT get a girlfriend.

And of course now Dustin gets RUSSIAN radio. Kid, you need to stay with Steve. When you're with Steve you don't get in that much trouble. Or at least you have someone with a bat ready to defend you.

I NEED a reunion of Steve and Dustin. I mean, yes, the Russians opening the gate again is important and creepy and they shouldn't be doing it, but I REALLY need more Steve and LESS Bill and his creepy relationship with a married woman.

MRs. Wheeler... I don't like you. But seriously, going out with Billy is a mistake. BIG ONE. Don't do it.

Oh, hey. He FINALLY is going to Die. So happy about that. Pity that takes out the chance for Mrs. Wheeler to do the right thing, but I've wanting to see Billy die since, well, since he was mean to Steve. And his kids. So yeah, bye bye billy, you survived like 5 chapters too long for me.

Also, great horror reference at the end.