Do you ever feel a bizarre click when you realize the origin of one of your irrational fears is from someone you considered closer than a best friend?

Like I was thinking back to when I first developed the irrational fear of " they aren't replying so they must be mad at me/ I did something to upset them", and I realized that it developed while I was close friends with someone who meant the world to me.

Hear me out: I used to think of romance as a stand-in for specialized intimacy, but I am finding out that intimacy is just as strong whether platonic or 'romantic', so if romance =/= intimate, what is it??

Kinda nothing really. Just an arbitrary concept. It feels like it is in the same vein as, like, how some cishet people flaunt their partners more like a show of status than an actual relationship, where they try to make *everyone* know about it.

So like, yeah. Intimacy is the best thing ever and romance isn't even real. Relationships between people can take on all sorts of shapes and sizes and stuff and no two are the same. And I think that is awesome.

Of course, this is also coming from the Demisexual girl who already felt a very blurry line between a relationship and friendship and I think this is likely why I feel that way.