#wifeprobs

After only being married for 46 days I have experienced some unexpected aspects to marriage. First of all, the difference between real life and all my preconceived ideas of marriage whether from books, tv, or my own imagination have proved false... Marriage is not what i expected. Unexpected in a bad or good way I will not indulge right now, thats for another time, possibly another 46 days in the mix.

Therefore, my second and so far final observation of unexpectedness and somewhat blog worthy topic, is the issue of toilet seat etiquette. I should probably state that I grew up in a house full of girls. Yes, we have boy cousins, uncles and grandpas, along with friends, and a stepfather in the picture, picture meaning family photos occasionally and when he wasn't working a brief exchange over coffee in the kitchen or food at meals and holidays. Boyfriends have come and go but never once did I have the shocking sensation of cold porcelain and water splashing up my back and bum as i take a plunge into the not so comfortable (or appealing) part of the ever so important vessel, our bathroom toilet. 

On a side note...

If I had any other married lady friends to call my own in this remote area of Oklahoma that I now call home, I would most definently be laughing and complaining over a nice red cup of Starbucks. But since neither these friends, or Starbucks exists ( in fact no coffee stand nor latte shop can be found within 50 miles! Major sad face) Tumblr will have to do. 

Continue rant.

So after experiencing this "experience" once and almost twice now I decided to confront the husband on his poor gentleman like etiquette. I was under the impression that young boys are trained at a young age to lay the seat back down for the lady of the house. Moms everywhere standing in unison as they raise a son and begin potty training knowing that if they won't they too will experience the "experience".

Apparently this is a false idea sort of like my first false idea stated at the beginning of this blog. Being that what it is I have learned a humble lesson through this whole unexpected mess. That marriage is starting from scratch. For all my married friends you will or maybe you won't I don't know, understand this. Here's a food analogy. (I like to speak in languages that make sense to me, like food) :)You can go to the store and buy a pre-made batch of cookies, stick that baby in the oven and 15 minutes later, indulge on a wonderful and good looking treat! Marriage, is not like this. Not at all. At least not for me.

Since moving to Oklahoma and marrying James we have had to start at scratch. Remaking schedules, jobs, closets, habits, friends, families,dreams, and hobbies. This has been more difficult for me then I thought it would be. Independence is a hard thing to let go of. Day after day the "me" thoughts have had to become " we" thoughts. And after storming around for hours and fighting over things like toilet seats, I have come to the realization that starting from scratch starts with small forgives and forgets like toilet seats left up. No matter how disgusting or scarring the experience may be.  And if my husband struggles with keeping the toilet seat down then I know there is some annoying habit that I just haven't quite got around to changing yet! WE are still adapting and forming this newfound bond that 46 days ago we pledged forever to make as strong as possible!