#whyisthereallife

These are just my initial thoughts. I'm sorry for the informal language and incomplete ideas.

CONTEXT

In 2023, I decided in the new year I would delete all social media accounts and heavily limit TV time (bed rotting).

I was feeling behind in life, honestly. I had just changed my major and switched schools in the middle of my degree plan. The political environment in Florida was on fire with conservative initiatives that were creating a university environment so wrought with conflict, passive aggression, and censorship that I saw no reason to continue. But my partner persuaded me to circle back to the roots of my passion: writing.

So, I went back to university for Creative Writing and English Literature in January of 2023. I wanted to remove all distractions in my life and focus solely on my writing and university.

My exact wording at the time was: "I want to get serious."

I wanted to be a serious writer, and I felt I couldn't do that by being glued to my phone. TikTok brain does not translate to the page. I set very strict rules for myself: 1 hour of Pinterest and YouTube per day and only one episode of a TV show in the evening.

Did it work? Was I locked in? Yeah, 100%. I read more books that year than I ever have in my life. I wrote more than I ever had in my life. And I was published for the first time that year.

As intended, I worked hard that year, but something else happened: I invested more in my IRL friendships. I talked to people in my classes and at my part-time job. I asked for people's phone number. I was no longer in a string of satellite friendships I sonar to via Instagram stories. If I wanted to talk to someone I had to reach out and have a one-on-one conversation that was not veiled by memes.

2025'S GRASS TOUCH

The conversations about TikTok have made me reflect heavily on my time offline compared to this year online. I find the ability of the government to remove an app for millions scary. I'm saddened to learn how political all of this has become. I can no longer stand by these apps and their censorship.

All of this has made me reflect on my current relationship with social media.

I don't think our main lives or friendships should exist solely online.

I don't have to be on every platform.

3. I have had an opportunity to see that short-form video content does not usually benefit me daily. It feels more like busy work to me, scrolling until I see something I want to watch... I'm forced to take in milliseconds of content I don't want to see or cloud my brain with information I don't need. Instead of searching for a topic I WANT to see (Pinterest & Tumblr).

4. I have found the social media marketing advice I received from other authors and even some of the advice I was given at university is simply not useful and/or does not apply anymore. There was so much importance put on building an online platform as an author in my creative writing courses. We had an alumni author come speak to my class one day and he said it was essential to success. But this advice lacks a foundation now that we have found out an administration can remove everything you've worked for. The publishing industry, writers, books, independent publishing, tangible zines, lit mags, etc will all exist even if our online author platforms are deleted. I find that to be most reassuring as I move forward. I want to focus on my IRL goals, my tangible writing goals... creating things that will last.

5. The time I feel I have wasted during this year creating short-form video content on an app that is taking a heavy turn to the right instead of working on my novel (my actual goal) makes me so sad. Creating an author platform on social media was a part of my graduation plan as a writer, and it feels a bit humiliating to be back at square one.

DESPITE this I feel positive about these changes. I'm HAPPY to be back on Tumblr, a place I made my home when I was a teenager. I am happy to be on a platform where I can make my words the focal point of my content. I'm EXCITED! I feel clear-headed and lucid.

I'm expecting a very select few to follow me on this platform from Instagram, and I am okay with that.

I am no longer focused on growth or building a platform to sell or promote my writing. But I am here on a public platform, creating content in case the right people want to keep up with my writing (and me?).

I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this long post that is informal and all over the place.

I love you. I hope you stay awhile <3