#whyarentweinspaceyet

So family law is Not At All My Thing, but my educated guess is that it would probably be really hard to establish standing.

So, standing is what you need in order to sue. If my neighbor’s in a car accident with my high school gym coach, I can think, “ooh, that’s bad,” but I can’t be like, “Hey, Coach, I will sue you because I think it’s bad that you got in a car accident with my neighbor.” I’m completely unrelated to the problem; it doesn’t affect me at all. So I can’t sue. My neighbor can sue because he was the one in the accident, but I can’t sue for him. I don’t have standing. 

You need to have a real or imminent injury (“injury” just means “a bad thing that happens to you,” not like breaking your leg or something) in order to have standing. “Someone’s threatening to take my kid; if I don’t sue, I will lose the kid,” is an injury. (There’s also other stuff needed for standing like ripeness, case/controversy, etc. but I’m just talking about injury right now)

"The kid I adopted wasn’t taken from their parents legally” is sad, but it’s not a bad thing happening to you personally. Also, just as a practical matter, I cannot imagine any prospective adoptive parent shooting themselves in the foot legally by arguing they don’t want to adopt a kid, even under these circumstances.

via Habitica

Day 5: Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

This deserves a better story.

Well, it was obviously Kirby. I’d been on Tumblr, you know, tumblr-ing, doing what I do, obsessing over whatever it was at the time, probably AoS or Merlin or DW, and stumbled onto sexuality blogs and was reading one that was like “ace/aro date ideas” and all the suggestions just made my heart ache. Like it was everything I wanted and none of it was overtly sexual or even really romantic, but it was so perfect and I showed it to her and was like THIS! THIS IS WHAT I WANT. And she just looked at me and was like, OMG Brittinni, you’re so ace. 

On Dec. 22nd of the last seven years, my friends and I had one goal: make sure Kirby was never overshadowed by Christmas or anything else. We held full weekend Star Wars movie marathons before new ones came out, all pitched in to buy her a camera she wanted, would let her dictate any and all celebrations... Because we wanted her to know that she was valued and nothing could outshine her, especially not in our eyes.

This year was my first year not doing that. It my first Christmas in a long time without Kirby. And I knew it would be hard, but she's been gone since July and I thought maybe it would be okay but it is so not.

My best friend, my other half, is gone, and I will never get to watch a SW marathon before the new movie comes out with her ever again. I will never get to text her 50x in a row as a show airs and I have all these feelings about the plots..

And worse than that, I will never get to share my TNLC family with her. She and I used to dream about our ideal church service and I've found it. But I never got her there. She would have loved it, especially our Christmas and New Year's services... Which makes it so much harder to bear.

I have never been one of those people who struggle with the holidays. If you come to me with a self diagnosed case of SAD, I'm going to yell at you about how it's not a diagnosed disorder.. (it's major depression with seasonal episodes.. just FYI) but now I AM that person who can't handle Christmas.. who can barely get through the holidays in tact.

via Habitica

Day 5: Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

it was @whyarentweinspaceyet. Of course. She was my best friend. I told her everything first. I figured out that sex just wasn’t my thing and I didn’t think it was because of my trauma, it was just me, and she totally understood. She told me she was pretty set on her being demi and was already completely aware of all the terms and knew what I was talking about, because she’s Kirby. Why wouldn’t she?