#wholeagain

This was written for @wordplayfics​ with the prompt Rise. It’s a very personal one for me to write, so I hope you pay attention to the triggers. For those that an read it, please let me know your thoughts. Thanks again.

Harry/Louis, Rated T, 5k, Complete, Heed the triggers

When the silence isn't quiet And it feels like it's getting hard to breathe And I know you feel like dying But I promise we'll take the world to its feet And move mountains Bring it to its feet And move mountains

In which Harry loses sight of his world and what he brings to it. Louis is there, supporting him and reminding him that no matter how dark it becomes, they can get through anything. He promises it’s going to be okay, that he’ll make it through this. However, even with Louis at his side, Harry’s lost in the bleak and endless despair he feels. There’s no hope left, no matter what’s said to him, and Harry can’t climb out of his misery. But, somehow, he begins to see focus. With Louis’ love and neverending support, Harry has a revelation. There’s one better day, and then another, and another. He discovers that he can do it. With Louis at his side, he’ll find a way to rise up and get hold of himself once again.

...Single again. This mind-fuck of a relationship really did a number on my soul--even if it was just for three months. But, here I am again... repeating the same patterns over and over again. 

Have you ever been in a relationship that drained your entire SOUL? Like, nothing you did was good enough? You started feeling like, “whoa, this isn’t me”. Insecurities that you didn’t know existed jumped out at you like a deer in the headlights. Red flags were flying left and right--however, you wanted to stay because you didn’t trust your own intuition. You kept telling yourself... “He will change, just give it a chance...”

Yea... I know, I know... I dodged a bullet with him. One thing to know about dating a psychopath/narcissist is that they will have a hold on you for a while after you call it quits. Assuming you are strong enough to walk away. My codependent-ass just wouldn’t let go and trust my first instinct. No matter how many red flags popped up... I wanted to help him. I wanted to save him. I needed him to SAVE me. And I certainly did not want to be alone. And yet--

Here I am...single again. Because I chose to walk away and put ME first. Because I LOVED myself enough to know that what I was experiencing was not right. 

Here I am alone with my dreaded and numb feelings and thoughts. 

It’s coming along nice and quick and I don’t think it’ll be very long, so hopefully still worth a read.

In which Harry loses sight of his world and what he brings to it. Louis is there, supporting him and reminding him that no matter how dark it becomes, they can get through anything. He promises it’s going to be okay, that he’ll make it through this.

However, even with Louis at his side, Harry’s lost in the bleak and endless despair he feels. There’s no hope left, no matter what’s said to him, and Harry can’t climb out of his misery.