#whitesedit

“What happened to you? You used to have passion. You’d get to excited being in that kitchen every minute of every day.” “Well, I used to have a life, Bib, and used to have a wife and a house. I was young. Now look at me. What do you see?” “A much older man with ladies’ hair.”

Bib, you’d make me look short. I’d make…? YOU ARE SHORT! No, I’m not. I’m normal height. You are a giant. In real life it’s perfectly obvious to anyone that you’re freakishly tall, looming over people like a Triffid or something, but on television you’d make me look like a short-arse.

“Why are you scrubbing the fridge?” “Health and safety inspection.” “Yeah I know but why are you doing it... get Skoose to do it.” “I mean, I asked him to do it and he said No.” “Tell him to do it!” “I did! And the called me a virgin!”

“Why does it say Aslan fusion?” “No that says Asian fusion, not Aslan fusion! Why would there something be called Aslan fusion?” “I don’t know. You wrote it!” “I didn’t! I wrote Asian fusion.” “So what exactly is Aslan fusion?” “It’s basically all your classical cuisine from C.S. Lewis’ The Narnia Chronicles. So there’s stag, holly, slices of horn...”