Talking It Out
I hate him. I am absolutely repulsed by the very thought of being in the same room with him. I find the whole idea of him being alive repugnant. And I’m not even exaggerating yet.
How is it that whenever we argue, he’s always right and I’m always wrong? Why is it that he takes so much pleasure in making fun of me or lowering my self-esteem? Can’t he just go away?
He’s coming this way. I shuddered. Okay, keep walking, no, keep walking. I’m not here. Dear Lord, hide me.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
What is this? Single-syllable greetings? Reasonably weird from someone who openly despises you. It usually went like this.
<conversation>
<insult>”insult here”</insult>
<comeback>”comeback here”</comeback>
<witty remark>”remark here”</witty remark>
</conversation>
Then one of us just goes away.
But today was different. He just sat there, completely oblivious to the world. He seemed depressed about something but, hey, I’m not asking him about it. I don’t care.
“Sigh…”
I don’t care, okay?
“SIGH…”
God, just shut up.
“Sigh…double sigh.”
What the hell is wrong with you?
“Sigh… sigh… sigh… sigh.”
I give up. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you having an attack or something?”
“No.”
Here were are again with the monotone and the depression. Fine, I’ll ask him.
“A-a-are you o-o-kay?” Dammit. My voice was stuttering. Me plus nice plus him does not work. At all.
“Siiiiiiigh.”
“You. Stop sighing or I’m telling the clinic.”
He smirked a bit at my remark. Thank god, he’s turning back to normal.
“So, are you gonna tell me something or what?”
“Fine. You see there’s this girl and-“
“ Oh my god. The pretty boy is in love with something other than himself.” I admit, I was hysterical.
And what is this? He’s blushing! “Are you… BLUSHING?”
“Yeah, yeah. Shut up. Just shut up and listen.”
“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry. Do go on.” I couldn’t help the tint of sarcasm in my voice.
“He cleared his throat. You see, there’s this girl-“
“Wait. Why are you even telling me this? Don’t you have guy friends or something?
“Can ‘t you just let me finish for a change?” He was serious.
“Hey. That wasn’t my fault. You’re the one that-“
“Please?” He was really serious.
“Sure.”, I murmured. I felt embarrassed by my childishness. You know, not that I care.
“Okay, so this girl. She doesn’t know how I feel.”
“Why don’t you just tell her?”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why?”
“It just isn’t, okay? Besides, she probably hates me. Or finds me horrible. Or repugnant. Or disgusting.”
“Who doesn’t.” I was nodding at these words.
“Dude, stop nodding. Or else I’ll make a really bad ‘Off With Your Head’ joke.” I stopped nodding immediately.
“What did you do to make her hate you?”
He was silent. “Uhm. Kindergarten logic. You like the girl, you pick on her. Simple as that.”
“And you used baby logic in high school. You sad, sad, clueless being.”
“What was I supposed to do? I’m very… inexperienced when it comes to these things.”
“But aren’t you a heartthrob or something?”
“Well, yeah.” He was being conceited again. “But girls are scary.”
I couldn’t help but agree. “Yes, yes they are.”
“That’s why I keep on forgetting that you’re a girl...”
“Yes, yes. Just make me face my lack of femininity.”
“And when I realized that you were one…”
I’m was puzzled. What was he trying to say?
“I also realized that…”
Oh god, no. Not that. Please, anything but that.
“You weren’t so scary anymore.” Relief washed over me like a tsunami.
“ Why? Do you want me to appear in your nightmares or something?”
“Maybe.”
“God, you’re a masochist. And you’re also a narcissist.”
“And I’m also your Average Frustrated Chump.”
By now, we were both laughing again.
The bell rang.
“So, Mr. AFC, good luck with your first ever romance.” He just smiled.
“Thanks.”
Second bell. We should be running by now.
Then he grabbed my hand.
“That’s my cue.”
He kept me in his grip, got down on one knee and brought out a rose.
“Hey, you know that girl I was talking about? Yeah, that was you. Happy Valentine’s”
Oh, it was that day of the year. My mind stopped working. But, my subconscious was somehow interfering.
“You, too.”
I didn’t realize that I was smiling. What I also didn’t realize is that I didn’t let go of his hand or that we were walking together the whole time. I never realized how warm and comfortable it could’ve been or that it would be offered to me on this particular day or even what all those insults could have meant. There were so many things I was yet to realize.
Like how I was yet to realize that I was in love with him from the very start.
